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Old 07-14-08, 12:58 AM
mccinny mccinny is offline
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Question Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

It seems like this has gotten worse through the years. I start talking and I ramble on and on. Especially if I am comfortable with the person. I realize though, that I am interjecting and saying things almost just to hear myself think.

I know this is impulse behavior, but are there any things (beyond meds) to help control this? Or perhaps to "dumb this down" a bit?

Also, those of you who have participated in the Dore program, have you had any success in this area?

I'm interested in hearing any non-med solutions or techniques. Thanks.

D
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Old 07-14-08, 01:21 AM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

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know this is impulse behavior, but are there any things (beyond meds) to help control this? Or perhaps to "dumb this down" a bit?
I began being able to be less annoying when I learned I could do this verbal out loud thinking without having another person there to listen - having a dictaphone or some recording device can help too.
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Old 07-14-08, 01:46 PM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

Interesting question. I do the same thing. When I am telling my friends about what bank I am going to, or what paint I want to use on my house, it is time to shut up.

My previous-previous GF told me to stop the monologs a lot. It was disturbing and enlightening at the same time. However, my brothers and ADD friends all talk the same, so we jabber on for hours, about anything. One of my brothers and I will even talk to each other and other people at the same time, and friends call it 'stereo'.

The reson that we interrupt and blert stuff out stuff is that if we do not, we are apt to lose track of the thought or idea. To me, and my ADD 'family' and friends, it is considered polite to interrupt. Because the ideas are usually beneficial to the conversation, humorous, or just off the wall. Pooled conscience. Borg mentality. The collective shared-thought process.
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Old 07-14-08, 02:24 PM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

With the years I have managed to restrain my own tendency to talk too much, especially about things the others seemed to be completely uninterested in.

I am not completely succesful in this. There must surely be one or two friends of mine who are by now sick and tired of hearing the acronym ADD. Hopefully, it's a phase.

It is still a challenge not to interrupt people whenever I think that I have something more interesting to say than they have. It seems that such interruptions are seen as impolite!
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Old 07-16-08, 11:51 PM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

Its certainly an irritation. Especially when coupled with my Social Anxiety, which makes me worry that I am driving people nuts.

I honestly feel though, that its gotten worse. I've also acquired a very high anxiety level so a lot of weird stuff is coming out now. I'm not sure what's going on there. I just know its annoying as heck that I can't keep on the point, stop and listen, digest, and then offer a thoughtful comment. Okay, well not all conversation uses this formula, but I think you know what I mean.

I had a writing professor who once gave us an exercise where we were to write about something in a large number of words. Then we were to trim it down, and so forth until we could get it into the smallest amount of words that still conveyed our original meaning. The purpose of this was to help us stay on point in writing and try to express ourselves in writing by saying less, than more. I think this is a good rule of thumb, perhaps for ADD'ers with these problems. Then of course, that would require thinking a bit before we think.

Oh crap.....I'm rambling again.

D

PS. I understand what you mean about using "ADD" too much in conversations. My wife gets a little bored by it all from time to time. I realize I am more free with my diagnoses, as I tell more people.
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Old 07-16-08, 11:53 PM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

I just go on and on and on and on. Especially first thing in the morning and at night when my meds are pretty much out of my system.
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Old 07-17-08, 12:04 AM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

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Originally Posted by mccinny View Post
I start talking and I ramble on and on. I realize though, that I am interjecting and saying things almost just to hear myself think.
D
The more response the better on this one, I know that I tick my wife off when I do this. I never even was aware I did it till she said one time "Why are you telling me that? Do you think I'm stupid? I already know all this" I thought for a minute and tried to explain that I was really just thinking it through, but to no avail.
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Old 07-17-08, 12:22 AM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

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Originally Posted by roly poly View Post
The more response the better on this one, I know that I tick my wife off when I do this. I never even was aware I did it till she said one time "Why are you telling me that? Do you think I'm stupid? I already know all this" I thought for a minute and tried to explain that I was really just thinking it through, but to no avail.
Try having two of you, one with ADD, and the other with ADHD, we both try to read so much into each others words, it's just not funny. It was a worse problem b4 I was diagnosed. Now I don't take things so personally, and snap back, and I'm controlling my impulses to say everything about anything I'm thinking.
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Old 07-17-08, 12:32 AM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

I wonder if this ties in at all with being a bit of a "know-it-all". I never had a clue I did this, and have always been extraordinarily courtesy towards others. But I was finally told by my dear mother one day a few years back and I started thinking about it and was shocked.

I think for me I know I have info in my head, but I have both a hard time accessing it and transmitting it coherently. This tied-in with the fact that I have this impulsive "need" to talk makes me ramble and try to talk about all manner of things. Most of the time I have the good sense to not talk about something I do know much about. But it seems my mind is filled mainly with trivial material, and I start talking with good intentions, only to realize I didn't know as much as I thought. That or the occassional "false memory".

I wonder if this is related at all to the impulse issues? Anymore else have these know-it-all, trivial rants that you find you don't really know?

D
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Old 07-17-08, 12:35 AM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

curse, I too read a lot into what people say. My wife accuses me of this everytime we get in a personal discussion or argument. Most of the time I harp on it, because for me it seems so real and actual. I suppose I should just let things like that go.

Controlling one's impulses is pretty hard to do for sure, but doable. For whatever reason, I've gotten in a more nervous, manic state in the last couple of years though, and I react, act, and speak with the firing of every synapse. Its a little disconcerting at times. And I was diagnosed in 05 with little hyperactivity. The last two years I've been all over the place. :-\

D
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Old 07-17-08, 12:46 AM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

Quote:
With the years I have managed to restrain my own tendency to talk too much, especially about things the others seemed to be completely uninterested in.
Yeah, I'm pretty good at kinda wrapping it up when the other person's eyes glaze over and they start to look around the room for a way to escape.

Quote:
It is still a challenge not to interrupt people whenever I think that I have something more interesting to say than they have. It seems that such interruptions are seen as impolite!
I have this friend (Ok, the Hermit has actually made a friend, long story). Anyhow, whenever we're together it's a riot. The talking never stops - we interrupt each other constantly and change subjects wildly - kind of stream of consciousness, on and on. She's got to be ADD.... Probably why we get along so well. We're never offended by each other, because we both understand the utter inability to NOT interrupt!
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Old 07-17-08, 09:48 AM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

I find that i keep talking and talking trying to get my point across. If i am trying to explain something, i keep saying it a different way untill in my mind I have said it so i understand it, I beleive i am just repeating it over again and i sometimes realize it and have to stop.
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Old 07-17-08, 11:54 AM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

Quote:
Originally Posted by meadd823 View Post
I began being able to be less annoying when I learned I could do this verbal out loud thinking without having another person there to listen - having a dictaphone or some recording device can help too.
Great idea!

One step further is to record a conversation while you are talking to people (use your cellphone or MP3). Remember to keep the recording to yourself and you'll be okay!

Listen to it after. You might be surprised at how one-sided the conversation sounds. Then you can make adjustments from here.

It's not something that's easy to do. It may even sound silly, or foolish, but it can give you a good idea on how you sound.
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Old 07-17-08, 01:19 PM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

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Originally Posted by curseandablessi View Post
Try having two of you, one with ADD, and the other with ADHD, we both try to read so much into each others words, it's just not funny. It was a worse problem b4 I was diagnosed. Now I don't take things so personally, and snap back, and I'm controlling my impulses to say everything about anything I'm thinking.
My wife and i have that... exciting? challenging? exasperating? combination. Only in addition to being married, we are also business partners. Sometimes we spend entire afternoons talking past each other getting more and more flustered. We have worked really hard to improve our communication in the last two years, i'm hoping that addressing how ADD affects it will clear up some of the remaining problem areas.
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Old 07-17-08, 11:03 PM
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Re: Impulse-Speaking/Talking too Much

Quote:
Originally Posted by mccinny View Post
I wonder if this ties in at all with being a bit of a "know-it-all". I never had a clue I did this, and have always been extraordinarily courtesy towards others. But I was finally told by my dear mother one day a few years back and I started thinking about it and was shocked.

I think for me I know I have info in my head, but I have both a hard time accessing it and transmitting it coherently. This tied-in with the fact that I have this impulsive "need" to talk makes me ramble and try to talk about all manner of things. Most of the time I have the good sense to not talk about something I do know much about. But it seems my mind is filled mainly with trivial material, and I start talking with good intentions, only to realize I didn't know as much as I thought. That or the occassional "false memory".

I wonder if this is related at all to the impulse issues? Anymore else have these know-it-all, trivial rants that you find you don't really know?

D
It's always been a problem for me, I tend not to say much anymore when out with others. I still interject things that are interpreted as "know it all".
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