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General Parenting Issues The purpose of this forum is to discuss general parenting issues related to children with AD/HD(ADD & ADHD)

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Old 10-06-08, 05:07 PM
twoboys twoboys is offline
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When your ADHD kid turns 18

I am new here and looked around briefly and didn't see any mention of this, but it is a huge concern for me.

My son is 17 and sees the shrink a couple of times a year. When he turns 18 he can do whatever he wants, stop meds, stop seeing the shrink, and there's nothing I can do about it. I believe my son is ready to manage his own mental health care, but not every 18 year old is.

We have a dear friend who is has such severe mental health issues he can't go to school. We are all worried about him and his parent when he turns 18.

The laws don't allow parents to continue to have a say. The law needs to be changed.
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Old 10-06-08, 09:35 PM
wifeandmom wifeandmom is offline
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Re: When your ADHD kid turns 18

I'm no expert, especially in California law, but wasn't there some mechanism Brittney Spears' father used to get guardianship or something similar to manage her medical care? I know it's possible with the elderly somehow too.
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Old 10-07-08, 12:30 PM
twoboys twoboys is offline
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Re: When your ADHD kid turns 18

According to the shrink, the person has to be so mentally ill that they can't take care of themselves or are a danger to themselves or others.
Poor Brittney fit this description.

Not taking meds and dropping out of college, getting fired, getting into financial trouble are not serious enough for the court to allow a conservatorship. No stop-gap measures exist. Unless the kid is near death, the parent has no rights.
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Old 10-07-08, 01:17 PM
Dizfriz Dizfriz is offline
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Re: When your ADHD kid turns 18

Quote:
Originally Posted by twoboys View Post
According to the shrink, the person has to be so mentally ill that they can't take care of themselves or are a danger to themselves or others.
Poor Brittney fit this description.

Not taking meds and dropping out of college, getting fired, getting into financial trouble are not serious enough for the court to allow a conservatorship. No stop-gap measures exist. Unless the kid is near death, the parent has no rights.
This is the case in most states. If your child lives at home and is not self supporting, you have some leverage. If he wants to live at home then he has to take his medications. Financial support can hinge on this. You are no longer required to provide for his support. If he is able to support himself, then there is not a lot you can do but worry and hopes he gains some insight. 18 year olds are not known for a lot of that, ADHD 18 years even less. They do improve with time however and most survive and end up doing well. Mine did.

The big thing is to let you know you love him no matter what but he has to take the consequences of his decisions. When he is 18, they can be quite serious. He no longer has the protection of being a minor.

If you apply the 30% rule then you are working with a kid with the emotional development of a twelve year old. Take that into consideration. If you are not familiar with the 30% rule you can find it by searching the term "30% rule" on the forum.

Good luck, it is tough dealing with this but to put it into some perspective you are not the first and you will not be the last but as I said above, most turn out well.

Dizfriz
Sometimes I think my kids turned out well despite me not because of me.
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Old 10-08-08, 03:09 PM
twoboys twoboys is offline
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Re: When your ADHD kid turns 18

Thanks for the advice. The 30% rule really makes sense. I am not too worried about my son. We have excellent communication and he has been a partner in his own mental health decisions all along. He will be going to college nearby, so I'm sure I'll be able to keep tabs on him (and do his laundry!).
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