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  #541  
Old 12-12-13, 01:19 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

I apologize in advance if I start tuning you out when you decide you need to use 5,000 words to say something that only needs 3.
...Mom.
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  #542  
Old 12-16-13, 07:20 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Don't stop me from shaking my leg/biting my nails/doodling/picking something when I have to sit in the same place for more than 15 minutes, it is the only thing that stops me feeling like my brain is about to explode.
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  #543  
Old 12-16-13, 10:51 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

I'm gonna go against the flow here, because I really really like when other people cook, clean or do any other stuff for me . If someone wants to help, help by doing stuff, not by giving advices- if it's a long sentence, I probably won't have the patience to listen to it at all and I'll forget everything you said 2 minutes after.
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  #544  
Old 12-16-13, 11:03 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

the worst thing you could say to me is:

"now pay attention! this is important!"

but i will gladly tell you what you were wearing, the first time I met you. although I may not still remember your first name.
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  #545  
Old 12-16-13, 04:10 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

don't ask me for my medication. I need it and it is a controlled substance. Thus we would both be in jail.

Don't say that you are so "ADHD" when you are having a moment of being hyper. It just shows that you dont understand what ADD is
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  #546  
Old 12-16-13, 04:37 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Don't not believe me, and don't not believe me without telling me.
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  #547  
Old 12-19-13, 04:03 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Don’t break up with me because I had an outburst and broke up with you because you didn’t care that I had anxiety about our boss who is emotionally out of control and felt threatened because we were dating.
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  #548  
Old 12-21-13, 11:11 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Did anyone summarize this yet???? lol

this is great!!!!!!
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  #549  
Old 12-21-13, 12:24 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

^JUST DO IT^ hearing that makes me fart fire(burns my ..s) Id like to take 2 pencils, shove them up the persons nostrils till their eyeballs roll like the slot machines.
and then calmly explain things to them while blowing pepper under their nose. they quickly understand what blockage feels like mentally, emotionally, and physically
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  #550  
Old 12-21-13, 01:26 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Please don't get annoyed that I don't remember your name even though you've told me it 8 times. Trust me, I wish I remembered.

Try not to be irritated with me when I cut you off in a conversation repeatedly. If I don't, I won't remember what I wanted to say to your comment and you won't think I'm listening.....even though I'm trying not to pay attention to your comments after the comment I wanted to reply to because I don't want to forget my comment.

Don't think the things I say are stupid. I'm actually very smart. I just have 10 smart things jump in my head at the same time and want to say them all at once.
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  #551  
Old 12-21-13, 03:16 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by gpfan5 View Post
Did anyone summarize this yet???? lol

this is great!!!!!!
aaaawww gpfan, youre avatar is a guinnea pig!!! So cute. I had a brown one when I was little named Bushy Bush. My brotherís was white and he named it Alfalfa.
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  #552  
Old 01-17-14, 04:16 PM
Misstaken83 Misstaken83 is offline
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Im new here and I am so happy that im "normal" within this forum! I need to get the BF to read some of this!
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  #553  
Old 01-21-14, 12:16 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Misstaken83 View Post
Im new here and I am so happy that im "normal" within this forum!
Me too. I read the first few pages, realized I was going to be late for work, got off the computer (vowing to finish reading the whole thread soon), after getting about half way ready I had to came back to add my two cents before forgetting it, realized I was going to be really late for work so I finished getting ready then spent my whole drive thinking about all the things I could add (knowing they have probably been said before but not being able to help posting anyway). I think I might fit in here.

**Don't point out how silly/stupid/unproductive/lazy or childish you think the chain of events above are. I know I didn't help myself any this morning.

**Yes I really do need to buy 5 cords/plugs for charging my cell phone (home, work, each of the two cars I drive regularly and an extra for travel) and yes they all need to be different colors so I know where they go.

**I know I make impulsive decisions and follow whims. If you think I'm going overboard or getting ahead of things encourage me to sleep on it instead of just telling me what is wrong with what I want to do.

**Don't mistake my confidence for arrogance. If I am confident it is often because I have thought long and hard before drawing a conclusion or forming an opinion (ok, maybe not long since I can think hard quickly), I know myself well enough to know things I need or I have to be confident because if I am not I get lost and most of the time that is worse than being wrong.

**Don't mistake my insecurities for arrogance. I realize I probably come across as selfish or like I think I am above certain things. I am selfish sometimes but am happy for someone to (respectfully) point it out since I don't realize it in the moment. I've learned I have to be selfish sometimes in order to survive.

**Don't discount my need for social interaction that I can handle comfortably. Help in not letting it take over is welcome as long as it is done respectfully.

**I love it when people help but only if they are willing to explain what they did, answer my questions no matter how silly and be willing to allow me to change/add/take away parts of it without getting offended. Know that the help is beyond appreciated but if I cant have these things you may very well have made things worse.

**Don't ASSUME I have done or haven't done something just to make you mad. I have likely forgotten, remembered when there is nothing I can do about it or I'm in the middle of something else.

**Understand that sometimes I do or don't do something knowing it will make you mad. I promise I'm sorry about this but can I point out NT people do this too.

**Sometimes I get at mad at the ADHD just like I assume people with any other "illness" do. Yes I get angry sometimes, especially when I have to do things that are hard and yes, I can act like a teenager or diva. Know that even though that gets directed at you sometimes I'm not mad at you and I'm sorry afterward. Sometimes it just sucks and I don't know what else to do.

**Above all if you are going to be a part of my life remember to respect me. Know that ADHD is a constant part of my life and has to be managed even when things are going well. Listen (at least for a few minutes) and try to understand, if you can't then agree to disagree without blame and then work with me to figure out what to do and ways to make things better that works for both of us.

Sorry for the long post. I have a 45 minute commute so lots of times to think of all the things I could say.
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  #554  
Old 02-13-14, 07:00 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Do:
-Recognize and try to appreciate my good intentions
-If you REALLY want one particular task done, please give me a deadline or at least a time frame/neighborhood. "Get to it when you can" or "No rush" or some variation of these are basically guarantees that I won't get to it at all. Especially when there are other priorities.
-When you love, love unconditionally. With patience and kindness. Some of us can be prone to taking criticism and harsh personalities harder than others. Does me no good.
-Recognize when I do something right. It's possible I might not hear it that often.

Don't:
-Make me feel pressured unless it's truly warranted. If you think I'm scatter-brained normally, go ahead and add stress to it, it'll be 10x worse.
-Nitpick. I understand criticism when it's important and warranted. But please pick your battles. The more you stress the minor stuff, the less I will want to do anything for you because I will feel helpless.
-Reject my good-natured gestures. Don't even really think this is ADD-related but come on, if I buy you a gift or surprise you with something, please don't complain that it isn't what you wanted, or you have no use for it. Or at least, if you do, acknowledge the effort ..?
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  #555  
Old 02-17-14, 04:20 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

1. Don't hide your birthday on Facebook if you want me to remember it

2. Don't assume that those who remember your birthday are better friends- they just have better memories

3. Don't tell me I can buy any present for your birthday and than expect me to buy something you told me about 5 months ago

4. If I'm late and I'm on the bus, don't pressure me to "hurry up" because I can't make the bus go any faster

5. If I don't want to drink any alcohol, don't pressure me to do it and don't ask me why- most people abstain themselves for health reasons, like taking medication, so it's rude to insist

6. If I borrowed money from you, please remind to pay it back- it's more efficient than telling everyone I'm a jerk

7. Don't try to convince me to get married and make babies, unless you've willing to take care of them instead of me; being female isn't enough to make someone mom-material

8. sex doesn't cure ADHD or anxiety, neither do marriage or children (especially children)

9. my diet is already very good; it's not fair to assume that everyone with a health issues has a bad diet or doesn't exercise

10. if you think that medication is pushed by the "big pharma" to make money off of me, at least recommend supplements that are more expensive than medication and aren't even proven to work
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