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  #556  
Old 02-17-14, 02:09 PM
daveddd daveddd is offline
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

don't try to read my mind, you won't figure out how I'm thinking or feeling

don't tell me to sit down or relax, or stop moving , if my moving around is annoying to you, imagine whats its like needing to move around constantly
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  #557  
Old 02-23-14, 12:59 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Understand that's it not just a case of "pull yourself together" or "get a grip"

Know that if something's being discussed or planned, and the suddenly changed, my mind has been trying to find a mindset for the first way for a while, so I could now freak out a little.

In the same way, if I aren't comfortable with something that's been discussed or planned and decide to change it, the same thing applies.

"I don't know how you can get anything done with that music and you dancing/wandering around every 5 mins" Actually it's the only way I can get anything done, trust me I'd rather be off doing my own thing.

With unlimited money and no need to "make something" of myself trust me I wouldn't be lazy, I'd find all the stimulus I needed. And it would still be a struggle against boredom.
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  #558  
Old 02-26-14, 12:44 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

If anyone wants to clean my house, and help reorganize my life..i say go for it..lol.. but besides that don't turn on a million effing things at once. i cant stand hearing the tv, radio, talking, ipads, on and on...all at the same time!! And if I want some space please give it to me because for whatever reason I get overwhelmed easily. And house cleaning friend..don't be surprised if I get upset about my furniture being moved. I am use to seeing my things exactly where they are and even though your ideas are probably more functional..it takes me sometime to get use to it. I say this out of my own personal experience and luckily my friend knows me well enough to know how emotional I get from rearranged furniture.. Honestly I never knew how hard it was on me, and the sillyness of it is worth laughing at.
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  #559  
Old 05-23-14, 01:35 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

My memory doesn't work like yours.

I will mostly likely forget your name, what you do for a living and whatever you told me 5 minutes ago.
However I will remember, your Birthday, your shoe size and the name of your first pet.

I don't know why, I don't get to choose what I remember, what I can't and I don't know why random bits of information from 15 years ago suddenly flies in to my brain, but when it does, I just have to tell someone.
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  #560  
Old 05-23-14, 02:07 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

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Originally Posted by Flory View Post
Don't tell me ''everyone has problems adhd is nothing'
Don't tell me ''lots of people can't focus what makes your life harder''...i beg you to spend a day in my shoes and tell me that again''
Don't look at me in disgust because i forgot to tidy my house or I don't share the same materialistic priorities as you..for me the fact that i made it through a day unscathed is success
Don't tell me that adhd isnt real and that doctors are conspiring against me to make money seriously...F*** off
Do accept me as i am, im a straightforward caring and loving person just like you, give me a chance to blossom and you'll soon see
Do understand that what you may see as a simple 30 minute task can take me a day and i break a little more inside when i realise how weak i am and that this is how its going to be
Do realise that somedays your idea of fun is my idea of hell, please dont expect me to sit through a movie night and not get fidgety not start getting distracted most importantly please don't take offense and criticise me for it
Please DONT call my dyspraxia Dyslexia...
Please DONT call me a pill popper/ junkie or tell me that eastern medicine and acupuncture will cure me...are you out of your f*ing mind....

Rant over...sorry guys :/
Still as true as when I wrote it two years ago
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  #561  
Old 05-23-14, 09:38 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

(((((((flory)))))))

-------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivid_thoughts View Post
I will mostly likely forget your name, what you do for a living and whatever you told me 5 minutes ago.
However I will remember, your Birthday, your shoe size and the name of your first pet.
This!
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  #562  
Old 07-23-14, 10:49 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

I take a bit of time to get up to speed but once the hyperfocus sets in, get the F$#% out of my way or you will destroy the momentum.

(sorry, feeling aggressive this morn.)
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  #563  
Old 07-23-14, 09:06 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Haha, no kidding. 'Leave me the he!! alone, can't you see I'm hyper-focusing!?'

Haha.
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  #564  
Old 08-10-14, 11:28 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

*You know that "amazing" thing I did where I just jumped up, did it immediately, and it was done? It's the same thing that keeps me from doing the long-term things. You have to take both, not just one.

*If I jump up, grab a notebook, and start writing/drawing furiously, please do not interrupt me. I will more than likely talk your ear off about it and then go on a tangent.

*Don't be surprised if I have no plans to do anything about the scribbles in my notebook.

*Yes, I highlighted the rows in the spreadsheet by category. My colleagues seem to find it useful as well. Deal with it.

*I have ADHD and am more organized than you. This puts me under immense amounts of stress. I didn't do the thing your way, but I still got it done on time, and it's correct. Go ahead and walk into your boss's office and complain, "Well he did it right and on time, but I don't like the way he did it." See how that works out for you.

*Yes, my unconventional way of going about things uncovered major flaws in your conventions. I didn't waste time; I'm setting the standard. Deal with it.

*Don't pull me into a spurt-of-the-moment meeting to discuss the above two items when it's still a work-in-progress. It only serves to **** me off and throw me off.

*Headphones-on means I am concentrating and should not be bothered. If you still find the need to bother me, I can't hear you because my headphones are on. It is not appropriate to stick you face inches from mine out of my peripheral to get my attention.

*Do NOT come and ask me a question, go back to your desk, come and ask me a question, go back to your desk, come and ask me a question, go back to your desk, come and ask me a question, go back to your desk, come and ask me a question, go back to your desk, come and ask me a question, go back to your desk... It will totally and completely screw my day.

*Yes I am excited about my new apartment because it's impossible to lock myself out. This is a major victory to me. Doorknobs are amazing.

*Yes, I need the weekend to myself. Thoughts don't work good during this time. If I am not vegging out, I am pacing endlessly with minor, abstract little firecrackers of thought pop around in my head. I have to do this or else laundry won't happen.

*Don't talk about how my behavior embarrassed you at one point. Some things are best left unsaid.

*If I am paying attention to you, but I am getting quieter, less responsive, and have a calm expression on my face, it's because I am about to snap. Please take this as a sign. It is how I hold it in. Speaking is not the best course of action for me in that moment.
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  #565  
Old 08-10-14, 11:35 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

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Originally Posted by gazingupwards View Post
If anyone wants to clean my house, and help reorganize my life..i say go for it..lol.. but besides that don't turn on a million effing things at once. i cant stand hearing the tv, radio, talking, ipads, on and on...all at the same time!! And if I want some space please give it to me because for whatever reason I get overwhelmed easily. And house cleaning friend..don't be surprised if I get upset about my furniture being moved. I am use to seeing my things exactly where they are and even though your ideas are probably more functional..it takes me sometime to get use to it. I say this out of my own personal experience and luckily my friend knows me well enough to know how emotional I get from rearranged furniture.. Honestly I never knew how hard it was on me, and the sillyness of it is worth laughing at.
AH! People don't understand! Move my pile, I don't know where anything is. Move my furniture, I run into it. Borrow my keys and don't put them in their place, I won't be able to find them.

I get very panicked with this happens and people get very alarmed by that. I get overruled by the wisdom of the crowd at my reaction....until I prove over and over that it genuinely throws off that perfectly crafted and refined equilibrium that took me years to get right. Ruined in the most infinitesimal amount of time.

My mom FINALLY learned.
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  #566  
Old 08-13-14, 05:29 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

If you talk to me for more than 5 minutes straight, don't get offended if I act like I'm listening but I'm really not. I'm not trying to be an ******* or act sarcastic, I just simply cannot pay attention to you for more than that time span. If you really want me to be engaged in the conversation, make it interactive by asking me questions every 30 seconds or so in order to give me an opportunity to do more than just listen. But I'd probably still space out a little bit.. don't take it personally.

My mom is the ultimate story teller which is pure torture.. she loves to go on and on about stories I've heard a million times before and seems to forget that by the time she's done telling it I was off in my own little world for a good majority of the time lol
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  #567  
Old 08-13-14, 08:25 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Please, please, don't ask me to remind you of something at later time. You have no idea how many things I need to remember were lost simply because you asked.
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  #568  
Old 08-15-14, 09:45 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

I'm new here. I've been lurking for a couple years, just reading, but I only registered yesterday (I think - can't remember exactly!). I'm so glad this list was posted. After reading it a few times it suddenly occurred to me that much of it is common courtesy that should be extended to ANYONE, but I think it's too "touchy-feely" for NTs to feel comfortable with.

I showed to to someone while I was re-reading, and the comment received was: "why should I do all that? You think everyone else should treat you like you're special???"

I just shook my head. Even in print, painstakingly outlined in simple language, it's beyond the emotional comprehension of this particular NT. I know a lot of NTs who would label it as the ranting of a crazy and controlling mind, and I know this because I've tried to explain those same things and been called crazy and controlling.

The biggie for me is DON'T JUST DROP BY UNANNOUNCED. Most of the folks in my life know this, but some still do it anyway. I stopped answering the door when people just stopped by.

The next biggie is the messy house syndrome. My home may appear messy and disorganized to you, but, as a rule, I can find anything I need within fifteen minutes or less. It's when I cave to pressure to "straighten up and organize" that I can't find anything and go insane.
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  #569  
Old 09-27-14, 06:26 PM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Quote:
Originally Posted by daveddd View Post
don't try to read my mind, you won't figure out how I'm thinking or feeling

don't tell me to sit down or relax, or stop moving , if my moving around is annoying to you, imagine whats its like needing to move around constantly
This a million times this,
I have had so many people try to read my mind or assume they know what Im thinking or going to do and it couldn't be further from the truth.
I've literally lost friendships because they tried to read my mind and think they knew me, HELL, I Don't even think I really know me and I've been with myself for most of my life.
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  #570  
Old 10-05-14, 08:20 AM
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Re: Dos and Don't with an AD/HDer

Not sure if this is adhd, robot not thinking or being tired but thought it'd be a great idea to stay up and work on stuff til my brain stopped working but ended up locking my wallet in my office when my brain decided to sleep
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