Ditched by B.S.U

[87Iroc_z]

I am 42 y/o male and was dx'd with ADHD 3 years ago. My elementary and jr. high school years were awful. I could see there was little chance of success in high school so I dropped out. Finally to meet a requirement for probation, I got my GED. Thru the rest of the years, I struggled, but managed to become a EMT/paramedic and currently, I'm a licensed practical nurse for the last 18 years or so.
Three years ago, after my dx of ADHD, I decided I need to go further to a bachelors degree R.N.. I spent time stuggeling thru the god awful prerequsites not an honor student, nut I got the required grades. Last January, I applied to Ball State school of nursing and was accepted for the summer term. Because of my financial situation, the start of the summer semester, I was without meds frequently, but I managed to hang on until I got med assistance.
My preference was to keep a low profile and not make a big fuss about this, but was urged to register with disability services after the first week or so. This first week or so was fine with a certain instructor until it was revealed I had a dx of ADHD. From there it was all down hill. This instuctor was constantly ridiculing me and made it obvious she was out to get me. Part of her class was practical skills which I was skilled in or was knowledgeable of, and we were to demonstrate them for her. Every single time, I was placed under extreme pressure and confused by this instructor until finally she got me out of the program. I was told I could re-enter for the fall term provided I submit a letter to the admissions and progression committee stating why I failed and give a plan of correction. I took all the blame myself and never mentioned how badly I was treated. My re-entry request was denied until I submit proof that I:
1). Get a hearing Evaluation (which I have done and found I need a hearing aid and no extra money for this).

2). Get counseling (because I'm so quiet and keep a low profile).

3). Get a career test (to find out if I am truly interested in nursing after being in the nursing field all these years????)

So with the counseling and testing, I attempted to comply thru BSU counseling, which also does the career testing. I was already in a major state of depression and they were aware of this. So I find out that since I am no longer a fulltime BSU student, I am on my own. I have no money to get this on my own, and my wife is also an LPN barely keeping things going, yet I do not qualify for ANY assistance. At this point, my state of depression is major and as a last ditch effort, I again contacted BSU counseling for help. I explained my situation at this point is desperate because my depression is the worse I have ever experienced. I was basicly told sorry dude..good luck to ya and hope ya don't do somthing drastic. At least thats how I took their words to mean.
At this point, my life is going down the toilet rapidly. Every road is a dead end. I need to get back into nursing school, but all because one woman that didn't like me and even stated in class that ADHD is a "load of crap", I'm finished. I'm lost...all I want is to not feel so awful day in and day out. I'm severely depressed and not sure how much longer I can go on. Yeah thoughts of ending it all was VERY few and far between, but now for the first time, for me its daily. I live thru this pain every single day.

[ndnbutterfly]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this awful time.

I don't know if it will help, but remember that everything happens for a reason.

You will get through this, just don't give up on yourself.

You are married, therfore you have someone else to hang on for. Not just yourself.

Keep your head up. Things will get better. Have faith.

Hope this helps some.

Nikki