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Old 02-07-09, 04:01 AM
Mxjunkie Mxjunkie is offline
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Question Hey folks! im in need of help.

Hey guys ive got some questions about ADD and whether or not ive got it. Im terribly sorry that i havent created much of a profile for myself but im a pretty busy guy. Im 19 and in college with a part time job so im constantly on the move. id like to list out the reasons that i think i have ADD so that its much easier for viewers to read. I completely understand that none of you are probably doctors but your the experianced ones.

1. Anything that isnt quite interesting to me that requires work is absolute hell for me. I tend to procrastinate to the fullest degree but the last thing i want to be is lazy. School work is difficult for me because not every subject is for me. Im a visual learner so lecture classes are slaughtering me because i cant keep my focus. sometimes i find myself in class wandering on my iphone or thinking: hmm this subject is extravegantly boring, dirtbiking tomorrow though, i wonder if ill see some hot girls there, shoot i wouldnt go talk to them anyway, but maybe ill just check them out, i guess ill check the white board out now...

2. When teachers give me directions i act swiftly, however i think to myself that im doing it wrong or i forgot the directions. I never seem to crack under extreme pressure though. often times ill get the procedure the teacher is asking for correct but i get no joy from it. i received a math quiz back the other night and i got a B on it and felt okay about it. I for some reason just never reward myself or pat myself on the back for doing good.

3. MY multitasking ability amazes people. im currently typing on here, facebook, "sharing music", and texting on my phone. Multitasking is great but i always feel like i need to be stronger doing things one at a time to achieve better results. If i have a checklist of things to do in a day, somehow it always takes the whole day. at my work i know i can get more stuff dont but i tend to think i have something thats keeping me from being focused. ill being cleaning up a concrete aisle then when i see something else to do i do it and next thing you know the conrete aisle isnt completed. i feel like my brain is sometimes a hand grenade when im on my own. math homework seems to take me exponentially longer than other students but i still get all the answers right. When taking tests i have extremely high anxiety and my palms start to sweat. as soon as i get the test i quickly attack the first problem but the next thing you know im looking at the clock thinking about something else. im in college now and i need to step my game up on focusing.

4. Girls. jesus what a complicating thing they are. i still love them though no matter how many trials or tribulations they put me through. anywho i have a concrete wall that makes me unable to walk up to a girl and start a conversation. if a girl starts a conversation with me then i can keep a great talk going. I think i need to work on my self esteem a bit and this isnt helping. when i see a really nice looking girl, thats my main focus. However i immediately think "shes got a bf forsure" which in fact completely ruins any possibilities for me. This burns me when this happens because i know im a good guy and i should be putting myself out there. The reason i probably dont have a girlfriend right now is because of two reasons. i cant seem to go straight up to them and if i do meet one then they may not be "compatible". Im part of a dying breed i suppose...i can have an intellectual conversation for hours about any subject. A hollow personality kills me. some people cant converse on my level and i dont really care to try to strike up any meaningful conversation. beleive me when i day im not a genious and im not above anybody, its just i have the ability to hold very complicated conversations.



5. coffee is different to me than most people. Coffee makes me concentrate and formulate great thoughts. I can drink any coffee in any amount before bed and still fall right asleep. i dont get a buzz from it. the down side to this is the morning. When i wake up in the morning, that is if its on time. i have to drink coffee to get me started back up again. once i take that first sip im automatically in full function. i read while researching ADD that this is a common syptom of having it.

6. Tardiness is something i have chronic trouble with. Im constantly late to things. tutoring, school, work, waking up...etc. Its never more than a minute or two late but you know how that goes.

7. depression has been one long ongoing fight for me even though im only 19. Ive seen some things that i wouldnt want anybody to see or experiance in there life. ive lost a sister before and a few close cousins as well as some friends so loss is something that hurts. Depression is not something that completely consumes me. i live mostly depression free but sometimes it hits hard for a few hours. i usually only get depressed at night perhaps because things are so dark. If im in a real slump i tend to surround my self with depressing things such as watching youtube videos of my fellow people being blown up and shot at in Iraq. when im depressed i find things depressing to be remarkebly interesting. its like a drug to me. I do eventually snap out of it and find something positive to do. Ive never attempted suicide and i dont ever think of doing so.

8. Ive taken a few ADD tests online and im sure there not anywhere near accurate but everyone i took said i had ADD.

9. I tend to have a short fuse at times. if bad events occur all with in a short period of time i build up anger quickly. I have never hand any outbursts or anytype of raging problem. i get frustrated at small things like hitting my elbow hard on something. I will only get angry if im trying to do something. (IE: im quickly walking into my room to grab my keys and i smakc the hell out of my elbow with the door.) chances are ill get ****ed and use some great combinations of crude langauge.

10. I tend to buy or do things impulsively. Sometimes i make impulse decisins while driving. nothing too stupid just like not using a blinker when i should. When i want something i tend to just go buy it. I wanted some new speakers for my truck. the next day i went out and bought them. I also make impulsive plans. this gives no one anytime to prepare for things. (IE:hey lets go snowboarding tomorrow)

11. Organization is key in college and im shooting myself in the foot. My desk is 2'x 5' and ive currently cluttered and i can barely see the table lol. Im always unorganized but its never too bad. i do lose things from time to time with my chaotic school schedule.

12. my last semester in college i dropped one class and failed one. i still managed to get decent grades in the other three classes though. Those three classes were interesting to me so i think that played a major part. I simply cannot afford to screw up this semester and im taking it much more seriously, but i think theres more to just putting in effort like my parents say. I want to do great in school and live the life that i want but something is holding me back. i tend to think that it could be ADD. i struggles through high school and now that i see the way i do things compared to people with ADD, were pretty similar. i do not inted to use my possible ADD as a crutch. I just want help. I want to fix my issues so i can go on to living my life.

13. I often underestimate things. I underestimate the time i should be studying. the amount of time homework will take and the amount of time that ill be ready to head out the door to start my day.

14. I get bored easily but i quickly intertwine my self in something interesting. if im interested i can put out tremendous effort like when i ride my dirtbike or work on something mechanical.

15. I have a great memory but everyonce and awhile ill forget something essential. i went to class to continue finishing an Autcad drawing and i forgot my Flash drive and had to go back home for it.

16. I worry alot. Ive never felt good about getting a test back before. i worry about other people and myself quite often. i tend to worry to i reach the point that i know that im going to fail.

17. I zone out alot and can daydream almost on command. everything just blurs out and im not focusing on anyone or anything.

18. MY motivation is in need of a tune up. Im not very motivated to do certain things. Things that might require alot of work and dont directly benifit myself. Things that arent required of my but require work to finish take immense work for me to start and maybe finish.

19. im distracted easily by moving things or objects of interest.


My major is Mechanical engineering by the way. Id like to mention that i hate being lazy but im starting to think theres a possibility that it may not be all just laziness. I want my degree more than anything and i think that ADD may be holding me back some. I have a doctors appointment to talk about ADD on the 13th of this month.

Id like to thank any of you who have the will to read through my situation and reply. i understand its a busy worl but i do truly appreciate consructive criticism.

Cliffs:
Think i might have ADD
I fit the criteria of being an adult with ADD
list of ADD like signs
your opinion


Thanks,
eric
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  #2  
Old 02-07-09, 10:23 AM
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Re: Hey folks! im in need of help.

I am reading your post with great interest. You sound a lot like myself, and yes I do have ADHD. I am 41 and was diagnosed five years ago. You have a great grasp on all the things that seem wrong" in your life, which puts you ahead of me when I was your age. I never made the connection in everything that was going on in my life. I felt I was "normal" until I was diagnosed with depression. That lead me to my diagnosis with ADHD. The deaths in your family can certainly be situations that would lead to a major bout of depression. However, you should also know that life with ADHD is such a struggle that a lot of us have depression all the time. ANother point to ponder is that we are very poor at accessing our condition. In other words, people around you may see a lot more of the disorder than we do. If you are in College you may check to see if they have any therapists on staff who could make a diagnosis or atleast put you on the right track. I would try to seek someone out who deals with ADHD, since you can read many horror posts here of folks who have been misdiagnosed. I hope you can find the help you need and start living your life to the fullest. If you do have ADHD, the diagnose itself can be an amazing event. If the treatment your given is the right treatment it will be life altering to say the least. Hang in there and keep me posted on your issues. Like I said, your post really struck very close to my own!
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Old 02-07-09, 02:23 PM
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Re: Hey folks! im in need of help.

Your list of challenges certainly sounds familiar. In fact, with a few small changes, you could be describing me.

Going in and getting checked is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. There is something about KNOWING that is empowering. As long as you are guessing what is wrong, there is little you can do about it.

Let us know what happens at your appointment. Hopefully, you will come away with some direction on how to manage.
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Old 02-07-09, 02:36 PM
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Re: Hey folks! im in need of help.

hmm I can relate to a lot of that (lol except I'm a +40 female) - especially 13 -19...
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Old 02-08-09, 03:39 AM
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Re: Hey folks! im in need of help.

thanks for the responses. I still have a few days until i get to see the doctor and im sure ill get referred to another doctor who specifically works on the subject. In some ways i hope i have it because it will put a rest to some of my problems. I dont want to be looked at as a lazy person because i dont do things that require alot of work in my spare time. It seems that there is just a wall that stands in front of me when i get to an uninteresting subject. I have some items that i need to put on ebay but it is going to require work to enable things to be sold. Its unreal the amount of energy i have to put in to just commit to getting it done. if i dont get it done its like a burden. I feel immense pressure and defeat. i watched a few videos about ADD on youtube and i could relate alot to the subject. One was about starting but never finishing books. I have an amazing amount of interest in hearing the stories of other people's lives but i just cant really get "hooked" on a book. I also have the ability to read some of a book and retain little to no information about the reading. The video also touched on the fact that the guy had a hard time strikiking up conversations with girls. I tried to talk to a girl the other night and it was like i hit a imaginary wall that repelled me back to sqaure one. I honestly felt like there was a wall or i went to a mute mode. I was destroyed after that. It burned me that i couldnt even talk to her. Like i said once a conversation happens im perfectly fine. Its just the introduction. anyone else share this?
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Old 02-08-09, 05:21 AM
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Re: Hey folks! im in need of help.

Crap, I couldn't even read past number 3 on that list....does that mean that I have ADD?



(though to be fair to myself, I did read one or two in the middle and end in no particular order.)


I agree with the others though, going to doctor and talking to them is the best thing you can do for yourself
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Old 02-08-09, 06:12 AM
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Re: Hey folks! im in need of help.

I definitely agree you should get things looked into. For the most part, it sounds consistent with ADHD. Though, be aware that there are many neurological issues that can cause all of these problems that are not ADHD.

The only real thing that sort of made me say, "Huh?" was you claiming you have a good memory. If that's true, it's almost a guarantee that you're not dealing with ADHD. Short-term memory deficits are a hallmark of the disorder- there's no real way around it. Though there are ways to compensate a bit (For example, I technically have only slightly below average memory, but if you look at my detail memory versus my "big picture" memory I'm almost as low as you get on the former and almost as high as you get on the latter so it evens out). What does seem likely though, as PRR pointed out, is that if it IS ADHD you're simply unaware of how poor your memory actually is. Self-assessment in ADHD is classically impaired.

Some of the lingering questions are really about how long this has been going on and to what extent you feel your life is impaired by this symptom cluster.

Be aware that any doctor is likely to first treat you for depression and anxiety (because each can cause all of these symptoms, and combined they will always cause at least some of them). They'll hold off on an ADHD diagnosis until they can be sure that the co-morbid conditions aren't actually the problem (which is a requirement under the DSM ADHD criteria). So patience will be key!

Good luck!
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Old 02-08-09, 10:15 AM
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Re: Hey folks! im in need of help.

As far as the amount of effort it takes you to get something done, I would say that is the story of my life! I just always thought that was what everyone went through! The only difference in you and me is that you may actually get an answer at 19 instead of 35!

Reading books was something I could not do before I was on meds. Now I actually can read a book and actually retain what I read.

KDLMaj point out that you say you have great memory. I would point out that in your last post you state that you can not retain what you read, which would point to short term memory deficit. I would never try to diagnose you on this forum, just to be clear! Like KDLMaj also states, our idea of how good or bad or memory we have can be a bit off the mark!!

Talking to girls I can relate to that also. At 19 I was the same way. It could be ADHD from the stand point that we sometimes donít read other people very well or it could just be that we have low self esteem as a result of all the ADHD issues we deal with. A good therapist will be able to help you sort through all those issues and help make things clear to you.

Once again, let me be very clear that neither I nor anyone else would ever diagnose you from a forum posting! However, you have something going on that is having a significant impact on your life. That being said, you have already taken the first step in making an appointment with your doctor.

I agree with KDLMaj, that they may first treat your depression and anxiety. This is what happened with me. Only after that, did they find the ADHD. So do not become upset if in one appointment everything is answered! It can be a long process and if your like myself, I have little or no patience and want answers yesterday. Just hang in there and I think this forum has a lot of great folks who have been there and got the t-shirts to prove it!!! Keep us up to date!!!
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Old 02-08-09, 10:19 AM
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Re: Hey folks! im in need of help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wintermute View Post
Crap, I couldn't even read past number 3 on that list....does that mean that I have ADD?

LOL....I understand that one!!!!
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Old 02-09-09, 12:50 AM
Mxjunkie Mxjunkie is offline
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Re: Hey folks! im in need of help.

Sorry i wasnt specific enough on the memory! long term memory is pretty good. Now that i think of it i dont have the best of short term memories. I have some bills that need to be paid and i keep forgetting about them. the only time im reminded about paying them is when i see them on my desk. no worries i can pay them but its somewhat aggravating when i forget all these "little" things that are really important. I can recall interesting information like last weeks Motorcycle race results but i have a hard time grasping on to the not-so interesting things. Right after i wrote my first post i started to remember other ADD like signs that i display like skipping from priority to priority. Like i said, things that arent interesting i tend to forget.
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Old 02-09-09, 02:19 AM
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Re: Hey folks! im in need of help.

WinterMute Said"Crap, I couldn't even read past number 3 on that list....does that mean that I have ADD?



(though to be fair to myself, I did read one or two in the middle and end in no particular order.)
Haha I so get what you are saying I tried desperately but read two skipped a few,got the jist and I fully agree go to the doctor it is so cool when you can finally see the forest through the trees.Although getting the meds right is brutal I am just figuring that out now.I actually was pre-diagnosed by a classmate who had ADHD and went home and did the same thing as you.It is great to finally find out your not dumb just cognitively challenged haha!! I am happy with my diagnosis it explains all of those inappropriate things I blurt out and people look at me and like UM Tammy once again T.M.I !!!!
Anyway its great your figuring it out now I wish I knew 15 years ago many things would have been different for me ,and my GPA would be higher1! :0D
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Old 02-10-09, 04:27 PM
Mxjunkie Mxjunkie is offline
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Re: Hey folks! im in need of help.

Yeah im going to see a therapist about ADD and have a diagnostic meeting on thursday. Hopefully everything will work out okay. Im in a wierd position because i feel like im almost wanting to have ADD. I guess its more like i just want to know whats going on with me. In another way its somewhat frightening to possibly know that there is soething wrong with me. Its an akward feeling at times. I have continued to read up on ADD and educate myself until i have my appointment and I just cant get over how exact i am to the signs of ADD. Although i could possibly have ADD its seen as more of a benefit if you can channel it. I dont see myself as a hyperactive person. im pretty quiet and i dont have to move to think. I do however crash alot in the afternoon. It seems that coffee is a tool for ADD'ers. It calms you and makes you focus better. After reading up on coffee and ADD, i realize why i drink coffee so much. I thought it was normal to drink espressos and coffee before bed or when studying! Since i have been speculating that i have ADD ive been watching myself very closely lately. Watching how i work, eat, drive, sleep, and study. I was amazed at how much static was going on in my head when i was at work. my priorities were *** backwords and i was skipping from job to job without completely finishing anything. It was frustrating because i have to tear myself away from other jobs to try to finish what i already have going on. I notoiced that i tend to eat more snacks instead of planned meals. It sucks because i have the time to eat but i am often unable to prioritize my eating. When driving i often make impulsive decisions. i am a pretty courteous driver but it seems that i make some quick decisions without thinking of possible ramnifications. Sleep is one of my bigger battles right now. I always try to get 8 hours of sleep but sometimes it doesnt always work out that way. I have to be the worst person for waking up. My alarm goes off, i then turn off the alarm and go back to sleep lol. I have set up two alarms to wake me up so i can get to school on time, which im chronically late to. I put off studying and its the worst thing to procrastinate with. I have to have a tutor because it keeps me on track. I know im not dumb or unable to do the math (trig) but my procrastination, poor time management and crappy short term memory make it difficult. I answered a few questions over the phone the other day with my doctor. I beleive the questions were just a filter to make sure that i was in the mold of haveing ADD. After i answered i set up an appointment no questions asked. Im quite nervous but im also anxious to find out whats going on. The last thing i want to do is keep struggling in everyday life.
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