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General Medication Discussion This section is to be used for general medication discussion and other medications not broken out in their own respective forums.

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  #1  
Old 02-27-09, 07:28 PM
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So bored I want to die

I'm on antidepressants (citalopram/celexa) which has helped to stop my low moods escalate to a feeling of despair. But I'm just so bored of life, I cant be bothered anymore. I dont feel so depressed, just bored....

I dont like socialising. All I do is work, go home play guitar, watch TV and go on the PC.

My attention is almost completely gone, I have little interest in anything, I have done everything to death and I'm just burnt out, bored and detached from society.

I have a psychotherapy session soon and will re-iterate this. I have ADHD and could probably push for medication via a re-assessment maybe.

I just want to know whether medication would help boost my enthusiasm for life? Its easy to say I'm still depressed, but I dont feel so, just bored, I'm 32 and have run out of things to do.
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Old 02-27-09, 09:25 PM
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Re: So bored I want to die

Hey, I can relate, Friend! I haven't tried anti-depressants yet, that may be the next step. My psych has focused on ADHD mostly. I've tried Zoloft, Adderrall, Effexor, Ritalin, Seroquel and Clonazepam. Only thing I'm currently taking is the Clonazepam. It's supposed to be for anxiety. I'm really still on my "journey" to find out WTF's going on! None of these really worked well for me though (but the Seroquel could put a horse to sleep!). The adderrall was a nightmare! After my last bout, I went thru 4 days of HELL! Depression, anxiety, emotionless, no motivation, no feelings whatsoever. NO MORE ADDERRALL! Wish I could be more help, M8. At all costs, don't give up the struggle! It may take a bit of trial and error before you and your doc find some compatible meds! Hang in there! Peace-

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Old 02-27-09, 09:38 PM
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Re: So bored I want to die

headsames,

i feel you.. im kinda going through the same. btw, are you currently in a relationship?

looking back on my life (im 27) the times I DO remember not feeling so bored/blah is when I was in some kind of intimate relationship. Unfortunately, my ADD/anxiety has made it hard for me to balance having a girlfriend and performing well at work.

i've been taking adderall for the last 7 years and although the results (ability to focus) are incredible, the side effects are horrible (heart palpitations, increased anxiety, bloody stool (due to changes in bowel movements, diarrhea when i'm on adderall, then constipated when im not causes anal fissures). when i stop taking adderall i am NON-PRODUCTIVE.

man, i also feel like i'm just going through the motions.....
hopefully working with a psychiatrist and going through the trial-and-error process will help.

good luck to you and hang in there

paul
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Old 02-27-09, 10:15 PM
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Re: So bored I want to die

You sound a lot like me but I'm in college (and actively avoiding tons of social situations). My hands are all messed up, btw, and so I "quit guitar" for a while, I don't know that I could have done that if my body hadn't insisted. It really is an addiction (like PC games) in that it can easily consume huge amounts of my time. This might be your first problem, if you want something new from your life you gotta case up the guitar and uninstall anything that isn't getting your life where you want it to be, right?

I like socializing, the idea of it, but have no time. I've been journaling lately about "why don't I like socializing exactly." Just because it's so important to know yourself and etc. etc. I'm sure that's familiar. Personally though, I originally wrote off socializing as "something I didn't think would be fun anyway." if you know what I mean? idk. Now I'm discovering that, "even if I wanted to, but I don't" I honestly can't for a few critical reasons, but that's not to say I'm feeling sorry for myself or admitting failure, I think of these things as just "obsticles I haven't bothered to deal with yet," and that truely is all they are.

One of my obsticles is that, I'm remotely slow when it comes to conversation, and yet, super anxious and if my response doesn't come out with in 1 second I feel it's an awkward silence and hate it, and thus avoid it (a lot of the time I used to just not know what to say ever). I'd share more if you wanna see if you relate, but I don't wanna be long winded. I encourage you to tell us how you percieve your situation (like analyses it and all that), but it's probably very personal, and best let out in a journal where it doesn't get seen by anyone else.


One of many chemical approaches that may not suit you is...
Just use stimulants that make you somewhat more on point and therefore better at simple conversation.

Confidence comes through practice (not just chems). How good are you at having conversations, do you feel that you're awesome at them or out of practice? What I did a while back was make pod-casts, and vid-casts, just journaling things that happened to me, and what was up. Do you do much of the talking with your theoropy sessions, or is it mostly listening? (i've been to two total, and I got the feeling the guy was using psychology to make me feel like there was nothing wrong with me, and I felt if was hinted that 'I shouldn't be there getting counciling' ...and it erked me, but also I think he may have had a point, social anxiety is the worst thing to have.. he cited some of the abuse his other patients were put through as children.)


Anyway... "NO MORE ADDERRALL!"? I respectfully agree, and disagree too, it depends on the situation. Not using stims is definately worth a try for a month or two, yes totally. For me though, a lot of my social anxiety stems from my attention defacit disorder... for instance, I find it hard listening to conversations of people (fish oil might help with this).

A cure for not listening just might be stimulants. (btw, dextro-amphetamine gives me MUCH LESS conversation anxiety than Adderall) (they can have a depressing effect / mood altering effect so you gotta be carefull, and take just the right amount)

I can't actually leave my house with out stimulants... I noticed this a couple years ago, perhaps a psychological dependance of sorts, or maybe I am truely not very good at life with out stims. I get really nervous and just don't leave the house before classes. I'm confidant with stims I guess. But seriously, Adderall mixed with the SSRI escitalopram lexipro is completely messed up (for me), so be carefull about mixing drugs.



Oh, also, it sounds like those anti-depressants might be make socializing seem even more boring, which would further discourage you from seeking out an entertaining life! If you're not saticfied with the results of your anti-anxiety drugs, then you should talk to your doc about discontinueing them.

Quote:
I just want to know whether medication would help boost my enthusiasm for life?
I'd say yes, definately, but.. for me I had to choose between stims or depression drugs. What sort of depression are your anti-depressants currently treating? For me, when I was trying anti-depressants and then added in adderall, everything was just not good for me! I'm not even goona explain it. If you would like to seek out an alternative to your depression problems, maybe you should talk to the doc about discontinueing and get squared away with a stimulant treatment.
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Old 02-28-09, 03:51 PM
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Re: So bored I want to die

My antidepressants were for depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Which has helped with those symptoms.

As far as socialising, I'm quite immature (******* type) like to mess about, bit offensive. I get bored easily. When talking about topics of no interest to me I zone out, get frustrated and need to get away. I dont like pubs and clubs, I get distracted by the noise and cant hear people.

I cant handle problems, recently gone back from a teamleader at work to a worker (in gardening teams), cause I kept walking out. I dont like conflict either, in both situations my mind clams up , I cant think and react inappropriately with paranoia or meltdown. I know how to deal with things, its just when suddenly faced with them my mind screws up with to many conflicting thoughts.

At work: When I'm at one site all day or theres not enough to do, I loose focus, my head clams up, feel tired, confused, dopey, I go from clever to a retard.

I live in the present, I rarely think two weeks either side of it, nothing thats happened in the past really bothers me. Its just my mind in realtime that messes me up.

The only thing that helps me is smoking and coffee. I used to use cannabis which also helped alot. I tried cocaine once and I felt completely normal on that. This suggests to me that the problem is with dopamine regulation and only stimulants really help me. When Im stimulated either through something interesting or self medication, I perform and cope alot better.

I feel my "depression" is a result of all of this. Rather a psychological avoidance of problems which makes me hide away and give up.
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Old 02-28-09, 05:19 PM
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Re: So bored I want to die

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Originally Posted by headsamess View Post
As far as socialising, I'm quite immature (******* type) like to mess about, bit offensive. I get bored easily.
I'm the same way, but I used to aim for making innocent jokes about things and restrain myself if I feel they could be taken the wrong way. I found out that some people are signifigantly more boring than other people so I just avoid those people. I enjoy hanging out with this other guitarist who lives around me, but I'm off all anti-anxiety things so.. I'm dodgy and all. To be honest though, I almost think it's fun with the crippling anxiety; the idea of coping with it / overcombing.. competatively. (I have to admit, I think he's neurotypical, and I unfortanately don't relate to him that well or even his genrea, He's post-punk / schreemo and I'm grunge / ..vocalist alt. rock / ~death metal. I managed to find a band that is a cross between his genre and mine so I can atleast somewhat relate to him.

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When talking about topics of no interest to me I zone out, get frustrated and need to get away. I dont like pubs and clubs, I get distracted by the noise and cant hear people.
I'm the exact same way here too! Hearing in bars is impossible for me. I'm suspecting that it might have to do with a not-yet-known hearing problem based on chemical conditions.

It makes me feel embarrased when I zone out, and don't track what the other person is saying, very embarrased, cause ADD is like, my secret I guess... And I don't want these strangers thinking I'm less intelegant. That's what truely fuels my own "avoidance" and get away tendency.

I think with practice, like... I can be the one who guides the conversation, and I'm pretty entertaining (and assume you are by your guitar and ADD), but sometimes it just doesn't happen (like, I'm not in the mood, or just not thinking clearly).



Quote:
Originally Posted by headsamess View Post

I cant handle problems, recently gone back from a teamleader at work to a worker (in gardening teams), cause I kept walking out. I dont like conflict either, in both situations my mind clams up , I cant think and react inappropriately with paranoia or meltdown. I know how to deal with things, its just when suddenly faced with them my mind screws up with to many conflicting thoughts.
Sounds like me again I've got tons of thoughts, tons of conditions floating around in my head all the time...

Someone says to me: "Give me that wrench." and if they don't say it nicely or have a negative tone in their voice, I start to think to myself "Hmmm.. this person is annoyed with something, and it sounds like I might be the source. I wonder if when I X I offended him or something. Or maybe when..." And-so-on, it's really stressful, and I can't keep track of all the possible factors (no one could! that's impossible!). So, what I end up doing is acting on some of the presumptions I generate, and I think that's bad, and it would be better to be assertive and say to them then and there, "you sound upset, what's up?"

...I don't know if that story relates to you but: "Paranoia, in my case, stems from barriers in communication; lack of openness; distance between people."

As ADD people, sometimes people think we're walking away because were ******** that just want to be nasty when in reality we're frustrated as hell and trying our best!


Quote:
Originally Posted by headsamess View Post
At work: When I'm at one site all day or theres not enough to do, I loose focus, my head clams up, feel tired, confused, dopey, I go from clever to a retard.

I live in the present, I rarely think two weeks either side of it, nothing thats happened in the past really bothers me. Its just my mind in realtime that messes me up.
Adderall fixes that in some cases, but can mess things up even worse in other cases (like socially, and also when I take it with anti-depressants). I suggest you try experimenting with stimulants (with a doc of course). You gotta be careful with stims though, because it can put you in bad and disrespectful moods at first. I think Adderall does this the least, but I've only tried ritalin, dex, and adderall --and everyone reacts different. If you're thinking about starting Adderall or another stimulant definately start up a new thread for it and tons of people will help you out.


Quote:
Originally Posted by headsamess View Post
The only thing that helps me is smoking and coffee.
Are you addicted to smoking somewhat then? By any chance, are you able to just remain 'shut down' and not smoke for long periods of time?

I don't have any insights on this matter I'm afraid. I’ve heard that smoking + adderall over the long term eventually causes extreme nausea when trying to smoke. (I’d have to double check this; I don’t smoke myself or speak from experience here). so naturally, you shouldn't mix the two. Dopamine from Adderall could hypothetically make you not need to smoke as much, but for the first week, I wouldn't use the adderall until I smoked my last cigarette and hid all my ash trays / reminders of smoking.


So.. what I would do is try to never smoke on a day that I took Adderall if it was possible for me.

I actually planned out what I would do if I did need to quit an addiction of that sort, lol... But I know you'll get better advice if you start a thread called something like "ADD and need to switch from smokes to Adderall, plz help" (assuming you have an addictive dependence on it) so I'm just not going to post my speculations on the matter.
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Old 02-28-09, 05:23 PM
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Re: So bored I want to die

thats what happened to me, plus i could no longer orgasm :S so i went off of them and switched to wellbutrin, i feel much better now, however my ocd is not controlled now. but i was really sick for the first two days going off of them. so becareful if you ever choose to do so.
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Old 02-28-09, 06:28 PM
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Re: So bored I want to die

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Are you addicted to smoking somewhat then? By any chance, are you able to just remain 'shut down' and not smoke for long periods of time?.
I can go a whole day without smoking, even a week when I was on holiday once. My cravings dissapear quick, I only really smoke to keep alert and something to do. Same with coffee. When I use to use cannabis, it was merely to shut out my thoughts and it actually helped with concentration.

When I do go without smoking, I just shutdown, which isnt too bad but not good if I need to concentrate especially at work.
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Old 02-28-09, 07:38 PM
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Re: So bored I want to die

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I can go a whole day without smoking, even a week when I was on holiday once. My cravings dissapear quick, I only really smoke to keep alert and something to do. Same with coffee. When I use to use cannabis, it was merely to shut out my thoughts and it actually helped with concentration.

When I do go without smoking, I just shutdown, which isnt too bad but not good if I need to concentrate especially at work.
That's so good to hear. Stimulants will definately fill that void up and in a healthier way.
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Old 03-01-09, 04:43 PM
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Re: So bored I want to die

i kno ur pain i sometimes sit watching the tv and yell HURRY UP! lol
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Old 03-01-09, 06:22 PM
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Re: So bored I want to die

I cant stand commitments, never had a girlfriend. I get bored of the same person very quick. I dont even like being with family for too long, like on christmas day. The first 5-20 mins of any social interaction isnt too bad, but after that when its turned into small talk, I just shutdown. I hate it..

People allways tell me to get a girlfriend, make new friends or join a club of some sort. But I just get bored so quick and when I'm not in control of "when I can come and go" I get so frustrated. I cant do anything..
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Old 03-03-09, 03:28 AM
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Re: So bored I want to die

Wow headsamess, on abstract I'm the same way. I struggle so much to maintain tact with people is pathetic. Small talk is very mundane, therefore almost puts me to sleep. I can't stand it. I have this one friend, total arrogant ***. Literally everyone that meets him doesn't like him because hes overly assertive to the point of being quite aggresive, cocky, and seems to be the most insensitive human on the planet at times. My family wonders how I can befriend such an person but dammit he keeps the party alive. He virtualy keeps me sane when im the most inactive and bored. My advice to you is befriending very outgoing people (the more unique the better) and maybe they will help shed to exictment into your life.
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Old 03-03-09, 03:51 PM
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Re: So bored I want to die

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I have this one friend, total arrogant ***. Literally everyone that meets him doesn't like him because hes overly assertive to the point of being quite aggresive, cocky, and seems to be the most insensitive human on the planet at times.
I wound up in the same kind of friendship!

I think that personality type worked for me because he was so cocky, when I would go through 'avoidance phases' he wouldn't think anything bad was going on other than "oh, well of course he's avoiding me, I'm awesome."

I also think he was aggressively determined to hang out with me even when I told him I didn't feel like hanging out, which is healthy to a point.

(I think he would hate hanging out with people like him, and regular people in fact don't like to be associated with him, so that just left people like us for the most part ).

I think it's a good idea to find one of these friends too (I think they like gyms? lol, they'll be the one who brought along the spotter who doesn't seem to want to be there)
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