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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #1  
Old 04-11-09, 05:05 PM
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Very slow moving people

Do they drive you crazy? My husband is so slow at doing everything. He is slow eating, slow moving, slow talking.....that is our major source of frustration. I am extremely quick at everything.

When he even changes the channel, he is slow. I don't understand. It's so incredibly frustrating.
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Old 04-11-09, 05:09 PM
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Re: Very slow moving people

Oh yeah. My mother is incredibly slow in motion. Sometimes I get annoyed just by looking at her.
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Old 04-11-09, 05:47 PM
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Re: Very slow moving people

lol, i feel that way somtimes too.
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Old 04-11-09, 05:54 PM
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Re: Very slow moving people

LOL! Yes, sometimes I just want to scream "Move people!". I think this is tied to the impatience part of ADD. I have absolutely no patience whatsoever!
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Old 04-11-09, 06:53 PM
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Re: Very slow moving people

I was born and raised in Boston......grew up in a fast-paced environment. Life was always fast, get this, do that, move move move fast faster fastest!

Then I moved to Florida. Now we all understand that Florida is jokingly referred to as "God's waiting room" due to the number of retirees, but that place was just downright ridiculous. My first trip into a McDonald's in Florida drove me NUTS! These people don't move for anything......2 people or 200 people in line, the employees (all young, mind you) all moved at the same speed....just a hair above "STOP".

The good thing for me was that businesses were VERY eager to hire people from the north because they knew we moved 3x faster than the natives....lol.
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Old 04-12-09, 12:43 AM
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Re: Very slow moving people

I'd drive you nuts. Especially on the computer or getting out of my car. Although, I speak so fast no one can understand, though I do have my slow speech too when I cant think fast enough. I'm the fastest walker there is.
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Old 04-12-09, 05:07 AM
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Re: Very slow moving people

ha I'd drive you nuts too! but me moving slowly annoys my NT husband (when we take the train he's out the door before i get up from my seat) ; but then he does some things like take 10 years to find a channel (he doesn't "zap", he watches 30 seconds of each program), and he doesn't do the dishes, he sterilizes them!
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Old 04-12-09, 05:50 AM
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Re: Very slow moving people

i hate slow driving and slow walking people...

my mates always walk slower than me, it really fustrates me trying to walk slow..... sometimes i just carry on walking and they are still half way down the street.. so i'll wait... they catch up.. and it just happens again.. lol..
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Old 04-12-09, 11:37 AM
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Re: Very slow moving people

My dad is definitely ADHD and has been a car salesman for over 30 years. He is darn good at it. When we go somewhere together it is very obvious we are related. We both walk incredibly fast - always looking like we are in a hurry. We have difficulty waiting in lines. I guess we are both very impatient people. I can really fake it,though. In those situations, I just smile and try to seem calm while inside I am screaming "Move already!"

I lived in Washington DC for three years and loved the fast pace. I felt right at home. Even when people drive, it's wonderful. In general they knew where they were going and were quick at doing it, yet accurate. I moved from there to a retirement community in Arizona. Now that was an adjustment I never did get used to.

Stef - our husbands sound very similar LOL
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Old 04-12-09, 12:46 PM
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Re: Very slow moving people

in one word.......YES
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Old 04-12-09, 01:03 PM
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Re: Very slow moving people

Yes, if I go shopping with my mother, I try to get out of the car, into the store, pay for the item and get back out before she gets to the door. Then I tell her, Ok, we're done. She hates it but otherwise I'm stuck watching her amble around for half an hour exclaiming how cute everything is, then the 15 minutes more to pay for the item and get back in the car.
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Old 04-12-09, 02:27 PM
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Re: Very slow moving people

I like to take my time, I like to smell the flowers. I like to touch everything in the store. I can get moving really fast sometimes, even get into hyper drive for short bursts. But usually I am a tad on the slow side, its just how I am.

My hyperactive mother hated this. In her eyes, anyone who is not rushing rushing rushing, is obviously lazy, stupid, and not trying hard enough. In her eyes, normal people are trying to slow her down, so I, who was slower than normal people must be very deficient in some way.

She used to actually tell people "Juni is a little slow" URGH!

I spent my whole childhood being made to feel worthless and deficient because I wasn't as fast as she was.

I now refuse to try to hurry up for her sake. The need for speed is HER problem, not mine.

I like to stop to smell the roses, thanks
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Old 04-12-09, 10:52 PM
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Re: Very slow moving people

Omfg I hate slow people. I'm a junior in a pretty small high school and the hallways are congested a lot.. I walk extremely fast like many people here and I go crazy at school every day during passing time. I'm in a hurry most of the time and I get really in the zone when I walk.. everything is in connection with the music playing on my iPod and in my mission-like trance, anything not up to speed with my mind interferes with the mission and the fun will get ruined if I have to slow down.. So I despise slow-walkers! I'm so impatient I walk really close up to people in my way, sometimes I accidentally step on their heels but I can't bother to apologize b/c I'm on the go! If you're a freshman I might push you to clear the way
I can't stand slow people when I'm on a line either.. I get so antsy and fidget all around and start walking in circles because my energy builds up and I can't get rid of it. And the worst is slow employees, the ones who take forever to scan your packages and the ugly lunch lady who takes AGES and asks me every day if I'd like mayonnaise when everyday I ask her for mustard!
Also in restaurants, when I finish eating I want the check NOW. Waiting for the waiter to come and then to get the check drives me so crazy I feel like jumping out of my skin and leaving without paying! I really am so damn impatient, drives my mom craaaazy.
On the other hand, people are always ****ed at how long it takes me to get out of the house. Whenever I have to go somewhere, I have so much trouble managing my time and organizing my thoughts to know what I need to do to get ready. Then when I am doing what I need to do, I get distracted by other things and my mind wanders, for example when I'm changing I realize a couple minutes have passed because I've been in lala land
It drives me nuts too, I wish I could just get my *** out the door. I feel bad sometimes because I'm crazily impatient and **** other people off because of that, but I am slow as hell getting ready, which other people see as hypocritical and my slowness bothers them.. It's really uncool being with friends and having them waiting for you.
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Old 04-12-09, 11:48 PM
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Re: Very slow moving people

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So I despise slow-walkers! I'm so impatient I walk really close up to people in my way, sometimes I accidentally step on their heels

Also in restaurants, when I finish eating I want the check NOW.
I sometimes do these things too. Slow people also make me crazy. Usually, I'm aware that the issue is on my end, but sometimes its hard to remember.

I think the real issue is that transitional periods are difficult for me, hence the restaurant thing can be very irritating, I'm done eating, its time to do the next thing, but I CANT because I'm trapped there until they deign to bring the check.

The same with walking. I run for exercise, and sometimes go for hikes and am fine, but if I'm walking to get somewhere, I want to GET there. People strolling along side by side chatting are obstacles to that. It doesn't matter if I'm walking to school, or am working and get up to walk to the copy/print room. I walk very fast, don't like to stop and chat with people, and don't like it if people in my way are moving slowly.

Then talking, slow talkers are agonizing. Especially when they're saying something thats a formality, so you know what the rest of the sentence is as soon as they start, so there's really no need for them to even finish it, but of course they're going to, and you have to WAIT for them to finish that and whatever else they have to say before saying what you want to say. Naturally, the struggle to avoid cutting them off removes any chance of actually listening to what they're saying.

And then there are the people in lines....another transitional thing..you go to the store to buy something, you go to the post office to mail something, but the line comes between you and your goal. why is it that people know that others are in line behind them, but still have to chat with the counter-person and ask questions for future reference? You can find that out online, whatever it is! Is the post-office window really a place people go to socialize?
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Old 04-13-09, 01:20 AM
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Originally Posted by RedHairedWitch View Post
My hyperactive mother hated this. In her eyes, anyone who is not rushing rushing rushing, is obviously lazy, stupid, and not trying hard enough. In her eyes, normal people are trying to slow her down, so I, who was slower than normal people must be very deficient in some way.
Glad to hear from my side of the ledger. Y'know the more the "Speedy Gonzales" stew, the more I s-l-o-w down. Hey big bossman, screw you and your "sense of urgency"!
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