Lack the motivation to do...anything

[silverstreams]

So I'm sitting here, looking at a pile of clothes that I need to put away. I know all I have to do is get up, carry them to the closet, and hang them up. Soo simple. I know that if I force myself to get up and carry them to the closet, hyperfocus will kick in and I'll be done with it in five minutes.

But it's SO HARD to do this. Why? I feel like an idiot when something like this happens. A well-defined task is right there, I know exactly what I need to do, I want to do it (vaguely) but I can't force myself to NEED to do it. *sigh*

Also, I think about putting away the clothes, but then I think shouldn't I address these envelopes first? And then I think shouldn't I unpack the suitcase before I address the envelopes? Shouldn't I clean off the table before I unpack the suitcase? Shouldn't I wash the dishes before I clean off the table? And on and on and on...until I just need a break from the mind-noise and go on the computer and then nothing gets done.

[silverstreams]

I must say that after I posted this it spurred me into shutting up my thoughts and actually DOING something. So I set up an online stopwatch and did most of what I wanted to do in about ten minutes.

Don't think, just do it!

[meadd823]

Part of having an ADD brain is chatter and the inability to filter out the unimportant thoughts while hanging onto the important ones. Most NTers can hold the memory of needing to unpack while they are hanging up clothes but for us the chances that we will remember the unpacking by the time we are finished hanging clothes is slim to none. It is like because we know we won't remember we have to chose which one will get done.

Using a timer for some can mimic a dead line and cause just enough anxiety to open up a window of clarity .

Also prioritizing can be a struggle which can lead to unproductive thought scatter. I just let myself wander from task to task because I have learned order doesn't matter nearly as much as frequency when it comes to house cleaning.

[stef]

Originally Posted by silverstreams

But it's SO HARD to do this. Why? I feel like an idiot when something like this happens. A well-defined task is right there, I know exactly what I need to do, I want to do it (vaguely) but I can't force myself to NEED to do it. *sigh*

Well that very nicely sums up the dilemma! I'm not at work today; had a very nice breakfast but it's now the point of I should do "something" now. It would be very easy to wash a load of "knit delicates" for example. I suppose it would take me 10 minutes, to find everything and start the washing machine. - It's so not happening right now!

[ideaman]

You're so not alone. Starting tasks is usually the hardest part of the battle for (currently unmedicated) me. Good luck. Setting a timer is a good idea. Also important I found is not to expect NT performance (for me this holy grail would be a full day in front of the computer switching tasks all the time) and settle for, say, an hour instead. OK, I'd better follow my own preaching and do that 1 hour of email right now.

[amanda_goodwin]

I read your post and cried. That sounds like a 10 second excerpt from my daily life. I've always said that I just want to "shut my brain up." I always thought it was some solitary flaw within me. My best example to explain to people how I feel is to convey how saying my nighttime prayers goes:

I begin and eventually repent for some transgression like getting too angry at someone; my mother makes me so angry; when she was on Prozac while I was a child, she made us pick up imagined fuzz balls off the carpet. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pick up imagined fuzz? My dad would always get down on his knees and "help" us; My dad is such an amazing guy. Everyone of my friends adores him. He's rather old school, though. You would be too though if you were beat to a pulp by your step-dad and forced to live on your own from the age of 13; I remember being 13; I was so busy all of the time, the pageants, the plays, the sports, the school work...Wait, what was that sound?-- but I was so scared of my brother; You know, one time my brother and I were arguing and he was cutting tomatoes. He took my hand and put it around the knife handle and violently begged me to stab him; My husband was stabbed on New Year's Eve of 2006 by some crack head. We're still waiting to go trial for that; I always wanted to be a lawyer when I was a child; I hope I don't get mad when they put me on the stand to testify; I might yell.......Then I remember....two hours later.....I was praying.

That's only one facet of what I go through. After doing some research on adult ADD, I had an "Ah-ha!" moment. I printed several questionnaires. I want so desperately to make an appointment and talk to my doctor. But, I have a bad history with doctors. For years, I told my doctor to test me for a thyroid condition, based on my circumstances and family history. "Oh, you're crazy," they said. After a few switches of doctors and a few years, I was finally tested. Guess what?! Hypothyroidism. Things like this make me scared to talk to my physician about ADD. Will he tell me it's probably something else and dismiss it entirely? Will he prescribe me some generally ineffective treatment because of my limited income and Medicaid status?

Regardless, I just wanted to let you know how much your post hit home. It's just nice to know I'm not alone. It may be an issue "in my head," but at least I know it's not the cliche of "all in your head."

[stef]

amanda - there is a thread somewhere here about a possible relation to thyroid problems!
you've been through a lot....look I'm not even diagnosed but just reading about all of this has made a huge difference to me over the past year.

ok I washed the knit delicates .(they are still in the machine but that's another issue!) AND my kitchen table and floor are CLEAN and I hung up my clothes. I still consider I have 1.5 hours of my day off left. yay computer and TV!

[PinkRoxy]

yep Im so like that, I can never get around to doing any housework when I have my days off work. Which is a bit of a worry cos Im going to study next year and I want to be motivated to the whole way through with all my assignments.

[amanda_goodwin]

I will try and find that thyroid connection! Thanks. I have not been diagnosed yet, but I'm looking forward to having some sense of normalcy, or at least have my thoughts get into a single-file line!!
I am in college courses right now. I'm an excellent reader and writer, but this mind mess is driving me crazy. I will have so many excellent ideas for a paper, for example, but they all come to me at once--not in order--and fighting for my attention, making it hard to do it....Then there's the procrastination thing.
I'm trying.

[Eedis6]

I have the complete lack of motivation to do absolutely anything at all... I can't even have sex with my wife because... well... I just don't want to... It's to the point to where I can be called a maniac because I would rather stare at a wall than go play my favorite video game. It's is extremely effecting my marriage and these traditional, mind of matter, just do it solutions just don't work... I have absolutely no motivation to do them at all...

What sucks even more is the fact that I'm in the Army and I can get chaptered if they find out that I have ADD and I never told them before so I can't seek medical help...

[ADDinHDefgHi?!]

i can't even count the number of times I just went out and bought new underwear and socks and other random clothing items because it seemed easier than doing the laundry. Plus the thrill of spending money and wearing something new is at times too hard to resist.

I know this wouldn't make sense to non add people. Good post!

I've been putting off laundry for weeks at the moment, I'm able to do so because of all those last minute shopping sprees.... it takes me a while to run out of things to wear now..

[trishcan]

Originally Posted by ADDinHDefgHi?!

i can't even count the number of times I just went out and bought new underwear and socks and other random clothing items because it seemed easier than doing the laundry. Plus the thrill of spending money and wearing something new is at times too hard to resist.

And I can't count the number of times I have thrown out plates, bowls, silverware, pots, and pans because the thought of washing them appealed less than the thought of just buying more. Nice to know I'm not the only one who does this.

[thejohnson475]

One of the big things that my meds help me with is my motivation, it's still difficult at times to start something such as cleaning my car or taking out the trash but once I get started it's like I don't want to stop, almost as if I enjoy doing what ever chore it is that I'm doing. But like you mentioned in your post I'll know what I need to do but than realize that I have other small tasks that need to be taken care of so my mind gets distracted by those things and next thing I know it's hours later I'm laying on my bed watching T.v and all the while none of the little tasks were finnished.

[tired1823]

write down what needs to be done, and do them one by one.. do one job completely through. Part of add is not being able to finish things all at once and leaving lose ends. Sure, unfortunately, things pop up here and there.. you have to take a break.. do whatever popped up that you need to do.. but go right back to your list as soon as you can.

also, they say it's good to take breaks.. but I never do that. Once i'm working I like to keep working. If you break my stride I have to get myself going again which is hard.

[nevermessymind]

Originally Posted by amanda_goodwin

I read your post and cried. That sounds like a 10 second excerpt from my daily life. I've always said that I just want to "shut my brain up." I always thought it was some solitary flaw within me. My best example to explain to people how I feel is to convey how saying my nighttime prayers goes:

I begin and eventually repent for some transgression like getting too angry at someone; my mother makes me so angry; when she was on Prozac while I was a child, she made us pick up imagined fuzz balls off the carpet. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pick up imagined fuzz? My dad would always get down on his knees and "help" us; My dad is such an amazing guy. Everyone of my friends adores him. He's rather old school, though. You would be too though if you were beat to a pulp by your step-dad and forced to live on your own from the age of 13; I remember being 13; I was so busy all of the time, the pageants, the plays, the sports, the school work...Wait, what was that sound?-- but I was so scared of my brother; You know, one time my brother and I were arguing and he was cutting tomatoes. He took my hand and put it around the knife handle and violently begged me to stab him; My husband was stabbed on New Year's Eve of 2006 by some crack head. We're still waiting to go trial for that; I always wanted to be a lawyer when I was a child; I hope I don't get mad when they put me on the stand to testify; I might yell.......Then I remember....two hours later.....I was praying.

That's only one facet of what I go through. After doing some research on adult ADD, I had an "Ah-ha!" moment. I printed several questionnaires. I want so desperately to make an appointment and talk to my doctor. But, I have a bad history with doctors. For years, I told my doctor to test me for a thyroid condition, based on my circumstances and family history. "Oh, you're crazy," they said. After a few switches of doctors and a few years, I was finally tested. Guess what?! Hypothyroidism. Things like this make me scared to talk to my physician about ADD. Will he tell me it's probably something else and dismiss it entirely? Will he prescribe me some generally ineffective treatment because of my limited income and Medicaid status?

Regardless, I just wanted to let you know how much your post hit home. It's just nice to know I'm not alone. It may be an issue "in my head," but at least I know it's not the cliche of "all in your head."

No you are not alone! I'm so glad you posted. That is exactly how my prayers go. EXACTLY. Then I feel so bad that I cannot even give God my undivided, undistracted attention, so I ask for forgiveness for that, too! I cannot pray at night anymore because of it--especially not after I've gotten in bed. I have to sit at a table or pray out loud w/ my children. And literally getting down on my knees helps to keep me focused on communing w/ God.

On a completely different note. I have 2 teenagers, and I have found that anger "opens the window of clarity" for me, and I am able to do many, many mundane tasks in a very effecient manner.

Thanks to "meadd823" for wording it that way.