ADD woman needs help desperately

[little monkey]

Hi -- I'm brand new to this (both the forum and the very notion of having ADD).

I have long suffered from depressive/anxiety/obsessive/compulsive tendencies, but always assumed I could get them under control by willpower, life changes, etc. Or that I would outgrow them. I've avoided getting professional help because I tend to be anti-conventional medicine (especially taking prescription drugs). I just try to take a very natural/holisitic approach to my health and well-being.

I have always been pretty familiar with different psychological "disorders," especially depression, anxiety, etc. Although I always felt I had "tendencies" in those directions, those diagnoses never seemed to really fit my direct experience.
I'd never been that familiar with ADD/ADHD. Until...

About a week ago, I came across an article on women and ADD and started doing some research. I found a few self-checklists, which I completed. Of all the different types of disorders I have read about in my lifetime, I have to say that none has resonated with me as much as ADD. It was like a light-bulb went off, and I went "Of course!" It just makes so much sense. I then started thinking back to when I was young (I'm now 31) and how easily distracted, impulsive, etc. I was.

So I feel, without a doubt, that I have ADD. Everything seems to have "clicked," and I feel like I can finally see my issues as something in my brain and not some sort of weakness on my part.

But now that I've come to this, I'm in a panic to get help.

What's making me feel even more panicky is that I just started my dream job a week ago, and I am so afraid that if I don't get this under control soon, I'm going to lose myself. (I should mention that my symptoms get really bad at work, and I just get paralyzed from overwhelming feelings of distraction, inability to focus or concentrate, and just generally feeling inept at whatever it is I'm doing). I'm also in the middle of some intense family stress (my dad is dying of cancer), so all of this is coming to a head at once, and I need help. I know there are all sorts of books on the subject, but I don't feel like I'm in a positive enough mental place to take the time to read through them, so I was hoping for some quick advice.

Although I would love to find someone who specializes in ADD (particularly in women), I feel I am stuck going the route of the HMO-psychiatrist since, for the first time in a couple years, I finally have medical coverage.

But I just called to try to get an appointment and was told that people who think they have ADD must first go through a screening and take a class called "Is it ADD?" The soonest they could get me in just to the class is June! I pleaded with them and tried to explain that I can't wait that long. I tried to explain that I'm having a crisis, and then the triage nurse started asking me all these questions about depression, and basically said he thinks I likely have depression. Apparently if it's depression, they will let you see a psychiatrist without going through a screening. It was so absurd! I don't know if they do this because of the controlled substance issue -- or what?

At any rate, I have an appointment next Monday. But I'm afraid they're trying to railroad me into a "depression" diagnosis when I really don't think that's what it is (or at least I don't think that's the main issue).

So I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts/advice on this situation... I'm planning on bringing the checklists in with me, but I have this awful feeling that he's not even going to be wililng to discuss the possibility of ADD without me taking that class.

Are there other things I should do that would get him to listen to me about this?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Peace and love to everyone,
little monkey

[t-bird]

Hi and welcome to the forums,

I have never heard of taking a class just to talk to a psychiatrist about ADD. Is there anyone else that you can go to?

Well anyways, I would just write down everything you want the psychiatrist to know about you, that way you'll know what to say when you go there.

Good luck,

Britawn

[little monkey]

Yeah, I thought it sounded weird, too -- it felt especially creepy when it seemed like he was trying to corner me into a depression diagnosis -- I don't know if he was doing it to be nice (i.e., that way, I could get in to see a psychiatrist sooner), or if they're just really hesitant to diagnosis people with ADD.

Unfortunately, I have no money, so going through my insurance company is my only option at the moment, so I have to follow their "rules." And actually, I wouldn't even have been able to get an appointment until the end of May, but they just happened to have a cancellation for Monday... So I guess I have that to be thankful for -- ? We'll see...

Thanks for the advice -- I will definitely go there prepared!

[akiss4u]

Honey I was walking in your shoes last week. I just startd a new job also. Guess what I found a good doctor after much research. He was great and his diagnoses was ADHD. I asked my husband and my mother (2 of my support people) to write a letter to my doctor describing me and my problems in thier eyes. My mother wrote about my problems from when they started and how she sees them affecting me now as an adult. Some of the things she wrote made me feel sad - like how it hurt her as she watched me suffer in school and my behavior. My husband wrote how he noticed me going from job to job and never organizing the bills and the list went on. My doctor read these letters and asked me how I felt about myself. He gave me 2 hours of testing and screaning and guess what I am ADHD.

There is hope for you... Beleive it or not most states have medical assistance in mental health. You may want to check that out. Join CHADD - Idid!

Ohh yeah guess what... before my husband was diagnosed with ADD this doctor put him on anticonvulsants and told him he was bipolar and said this medication would cure any ADD if he had it. Many doctors in my metro area do not even beleive adults can have ADD. AND WHY IN THE HECK would you give a bipolar person ANTICONVULANTS?*&@! Unbeleivable these QUACKS out there. Just be carefull! ADD does cause people to become depressed becuse they never treat the real problem of ADD. PLUSS ... doctors love to promote thier partnering pharmacutical companies medications! Did you know some doctor make you an unkowing participant in a medical study with out your concent - like giving you meds that are not FDA approved for your diagnoses - just to see if they work for your dissorder! Some doctors even get promotional gifts for each prescription they write for a particular drug.

My heart is with you and get these support letters lined up for your appointment. Let us know how it goes and if you need support you have got it here! I love this place!

[andreaa000]

Hi Little Monkey,

I know exactly how you feel. My advice to you: Be very prepared when you go to your appointment. People with ADD always have so much to say but when the actual conversation happens it all disappears and you can't remember one thing you wanted to mention. So, write everything down, bring your checklist and explain to him why you think you have it.

I, too, was diagnosed with Depression about 3 or 4 years ago and took Zoloft. About a year ago I read a book called "Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embracing Disorganization at Home and in the Workplace" by Sari Solden and cried my eyes out because I finally found out what was wrong with me. Not that there is anything "wrong" with me but I always felt different and this was like an explanation to why I am the way I am.

Where do you live in CA? Just curious because I could be of help to you with information and whatnot. There is a really great CHADD organization in Palo Alto that allowed me to meet women my age (34) who are exactly like me!!

Good luck!
Andrea

[Mac-distraction]

Hi little monkey,

One thing I just read that made a lot of sense to me is that one of the main differences between depression and ADD is that depression comes and goes while ADD is always with a person. I would really stress things about your childhood to the psychiatrist. When I went for my consultation the psychiatrist wanted to hear specific stories about my childhood. I told her that I remember not wanting to get in trouble for getting out of my desk I used to purposely break my pencil tip several times a day just so I could go sharpen my pencil. I also told about how my parents would tell me I could not leave the house until my room was clean and I just would sit in the middle of the mess not having a clue what to do. I sure you have hundreds of stories like that. It might be a good idea before you go to your appointment to write down examples of how it has affected your life at different times. I also felt like I really needed to show the way my life was adversly affected now- what a strain it put on my marriage, how I always felt on the edge of total chaos.

Good luck and let us know what happens. You might be surprised how open the psychiatrist is to an ADD diagnosis.

Lauren

[little monkey]

Hi everyone --
Thanks so much for the helpful information. Andrea, you're totally right about having so much to say but then not being able to get it out when the moment comes. I've heard of that book, and in fact tracked it down at a nearby library -- they're sending it to my local library, but I have a feeling I won't get it before my appointment. I did check out "Driven to Distraction" tho, and it's really good so far. If you think it would help to read the other one first, I could go out and just buy it I guess.

I'm in the Bay area. Are you thinking of Kitty Petty? Someone suggeted I get in touch with her organization to see if they could refer me to someone. I haven't contacted them yet, because I want to see what happens with this appointment on Monday.

Lauren, that's a really good idea -- focusing on my childhood. That's especially what made this whole thing click for me -- thinking back to my struggles as a child.

I guess in the meantime, I need to figure out what I want to get out of this appointment -- I'm pretty afraid of medications, from what I've read and heard. But if they work in this case, I'd definitely be willing to try.

And I've never had that much success in getting people in the mental health field to listen to *everything* I have to say (maybe cuz I have so much to say? If there's one thing I'm good at, it's self-analysis!). I know I have a lot of depressive, anxiety, and obsessive/compulsive tendencies, and it's hard for me to figure out what's most prominent/which to focus on. But now that I've discovered the reailty of ADD, I see now that it's this that's been underlying those other tendencies.

Anyway, thanks again to everyone who's responded -- I really, really appreciate it.

Peace,
LM

[Mac-distraction]

Little Monkey,

I am glad we were so helpful. I think your case is pretty clear cut- as was mine. My guess is that they will not have any problem connecting the dots and see that you are totally right.

I was not very excited about taking meds in the beginning either. The good thing about that is that I figured if they didn't work then it would not be too disappointing to me. If they did work then I would be so happy that I wouldn't have any problem with them anymore. I have just finished my first week of Strattera and it seems to be helping. I feel like I am keeping my life together a little better.....
Lauren

[mctavish23]

Welcome to the Forum. Learn as much as you can from reputable sources.Here are two of my favorites:1) Taking Charge of ADHD...by Russell Barkley and 2) You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? by Kate Kelly & Peg Ramundo

You won't outgrow ADHD and there is no " cure", but you will find some great people here who have a lot of expertise. Take care.

[MRB]

Hey, Monks -

Welcome to the forums. June will come sooner than you think. Did you put yourself on the waiting list for class?

You might also want to check out Dr. Amen's clinic website in Cali where you are, and also Dr. Hallowell's website over here with us on the East Coast.

[paulbf]

little monkey wrote:
I know I have a lot of depressive, anxiety, and obsessive/compulsive tendencies, and it's hard for me to figure out what's most prominent/which to focus on.

LOL, sorry I mean that in a supportive way, just was funny that the problem was being unable to focus! I'm the same way, too much to say, not sure what to focus on.

How'd the meeting go?

[andreaa000]

Hi Little Monkey,

Just wondering how your appt went. Yes, I was talking about Kitty Petty. I actually attended one of their share discussions. The next one is in June sometime (it's listed on her website http://www.kpinst.org/index.htm). It was so amazing to meet other people that were going through the same thing. There were all types of people there. She has tons of information and a library of books you can borrow from her. She can also give you a list of Dr's who specialize in Adult ADD. I have Kaiser so I'm not so lucky. I still get medication but I basically do my own research and just tell the Dr. what I want. He doesn't know too much.

It took me a year to seek help and try meds. I also didn't want to take medication. But when you find the right medication, it's really helpful for me at my job. If I didn't work, then I probably wouldn't need any meds. I take Adderall XR and a low dose of Wellbutrin. It's working superbly for me. I don't feel any different except my mind is crisp and sharp and not foggy. I'm still a total spazz and do dumb things but I can focus a lot better.

Send me a private message if you want to chat sometime since we live near each other.

Andrea