I'm dangerous. Seriously. Don't stand within an arms reach of me.

[hermitpermit]

I forget things a lot. But I never forget important things. Except today. I left my $20,000 marching tuba by the parking lot and drove home today.

I feel like such a piece of ****. I have not earned anything in my life. At this rate, I never will.

To blame this on ADD would be obviously not true. It's not ADD's fault -- it's merely a condition. It makes it harder, not impossible. No one forgets a tuba. No one but me. Not the drum major who looked at me and said "this won't happen again, right?" He gave me the look. The pity look. The look you give someone when you're sparing them the shame that they obviously deserve. Pause-- deserve? I deserve shame?

This is my question: I've never had someone say "Even though you lost a $20,000 tuba, you still have worth and I still love you." Actually, that never happens. So that makes me think it doesn't need to be said. But I feel like I have no worth. Is this normal? I forget things nonstop. But there are times where I remember everything.

Why oh why didn't I just put it in my car first? I always do that--dealing with important things first before I forget. I realize how important it is. But I fail to do it. Why???

(Btw, I didn't lose the tuba. I almost did.)

I don't even know what I'm asking. I'll figure it out eventually. I need help.

[chamaleon]

Originally Posted by hermitpermit

I forget things a lot. But I never forget important things. Except today. I left my $20,000 marching tuba by the parking lot and drove home today.

I feel like such a piece of ****. I have not earned anything in my life. At this rate, I never will.

To blame this on ADD would be obviously not true. It's not ADD's fault -- it's merely a condition. It makes it harder, not impossible. No one forgets a tuba. No one but me. Not the drum major who looked at me and said "this won't happen again, right?" He gave me the look. The pity look. The look you give someone when you're sparing them the shame that they obviously deserve. Pause-- deserve? I deserve shame?

This is my question: I've never had someone say "Even though you lost a $20,000 tuba, you still have worth and I still love you." Actually, that never happens. So that makes me think it doesn't need to be said. But I feel like I have no worth. Is this normal? I forget things nonstop. But there are times where I remember everything.

Why oh why didn't I just put it in my car first? I always do that--dealing with important things first before I forget. I realize how important it is. But I fail to do it. Why???

(Btw, I didn't lose the tuba. I almost did.)

I don't even know what I'm asking. I'll figure it out eventually. I need help.

i think that forgetting where you put your tuba, or, if you forgot where you left your baby, or your car, would NOT be because of ADHD. It would stem from severe anxiety that it might happen.

your case sounds like severe anxiety, and the worthlessness, depression, which may be rooted in ADHD.

but you didnt forget the tube because of adhd - you forgot it because you were anxious and worried that you would, which is different.

arent you on medication? i suspect that it would really help you. Good luck.

[Trooper Keith]

I have a friend without ADHD who drove 100+ miles with their bass guitar sitting on top of their car, rather than in the trunk, where they thought it was.

These things happen. Even to people without ADHD.

[hermitpermit]

Originally Posted by KMiller

These things happen. Even to people without ADHD.

No they don't. [S]They happen to me.[/S] I do these things. That's it.

[hermitpermit]

Originally Posted by chamaleon

i think that forgetting where you put your tuba, or, if you forgot where you left your baby, or your car, would NOT be because of ADHD. It would stem from severe anxiety that it might happen.

your case sounds like severe anxiety, and the worthlessness, depression, which may be rooted in ADHD.

but you didnt forget the tube because of adhd - you forgot it because you were anxious and worried that you would, which is different.

arent you on medication? i suspect that it would really help you. Good luck.

I don't think I was anxious I would forget something. I don't know where you picked that up. The worthlessness doesn't follow me around. Its just here now because I forgot about a ******* tuba.

[hermitpermit]

Originally Posted by hermitpermit

No they don't. [S]They happen to me.[/S] I do these things. That's it.

ok i realize that was a dumb thing to say. Sorry.

[chamaleon]

Originally Posted by hermitpermit

I don't think I was anxious I would forget something. I don't know where you picked that up. The worthlessness doesn't follow me around. Its just here now because I forgot about a ******* tuba.

well the tuba event was a one-off maybe? but a really careless one, for sure! still, it might have been a one off, and dont beat yourself up. Try not to daydream and get caught up in your own little world, when you are 'journeying' if you get me, ie, getting out of a car, crossing a road, standing at an ATM. Wait till you are safe and relaxing. While going about your business, you need to be reasonably alert, and that is not easy for an Adder. I suggest pinching yourself when you get out of a car, (YES!) and turning OFF a walkman, and avoid using your mobile till you get to your destination, maybe. Daydreaming might be whats happening, and not anxiety. It is innattentive for sure, but depends on the frequency of the incidents.

ask yourself, do events like this happen frequently, or more often than once, that you would consider it unusual?

[hermitpermit]

Originally Posted by chamaleon

well the tuba event was a one-off maybe? but a really careless one, for sure! still, it might have been a one off, and dont beat yourself up. ask yourself, do events like this happen frequently, or more often than once, that you would consider it unusual?

it's just the fact that i did that. No one else would do that. No one else in 3 years has come close to forgetting something before or after the game, like that. Does it happen frequently? I guess.

What's bothering me is, I could have just put in my car first, and I didn't. Why? I don't know why.

[chamaleon]

Originally Posted by hermitpermit

it's just the fact that i did that. No one else would do that. No one else in 3 years has come close to forgetting something before or after the game, like that. Does it happen frequently? I guess.

What's bothering me is, I could have just put in my car first, and I didn't. Why? I don't know why.

i think i would leave the tuba in the carpark - until i started the sort of 'technique' of waking the hell up when i am out and about. Please trust me on this and discipline yourself!!! I once got knocked down by a car because of being wrapped up in my own little world when out and about and almost again got hit several months ago. Never again dude. Wise up!

[CptNemo]

Originally Posted by hermitpermit

No they don't. [S]They happen to me.[/S] I do these things. That's it.

This sounds like ADD

It often feels like there is a conspiracy against me.
I know its not rational.
I know its not true.
I just can't find another reason why things happen the way they do.

[Logic]

Originally Posted by hermitpermit

No one forgets a tuba.

I had to quote that. That should be one of those quotes that you look back at when you're not still feeling sore over this and laugh.

Anyway, I find that I forget stuff easier when I try to remember it (if that makes any sense at all )

My 'favourite' (or most frequent) thing to forget is my ID to get me into work, and I tend to forget it when I find myself constantly trying to remind myself; "Have you got your ID card?", "Don't forget the ID card" and "Put the ID card in your pocket".
I probably say it to myself so often, that subconsciously, I've convinced myself that I did pick it up and put it in my pocket, when in reality, it's still sitting on the side in my bedroom, and I don't realise this until I get to work, rummage through my pockets and remember where it is...
The lady on the reception desk is getting less and less cheerful everytime I have to get let in and given a 'day pass' as I don't have mine.

Logic

[stef]

I could lose a tuba. I always check my big purse for my makeup and wallet; and then other stuff moves down and way to the side so I think I've lost my phone and blackberry. Every freakin' day in the train, I go through this. don't feel bad! we totally understand.

[ginniebean]

kkkkccchhhhhhtttt .. be on the lookout for a Tuba napper... kkkkcchhht.. How far could they get?

Oh it happens, and it is the ADHD. YES! Important things.. don't put those off even a second.. once outside the routine.. DANGER!!!!!

[adhddx]

ive always had issues with people not saying "you make a big mistake but i still love you and you still have worth." in my family, that just didnt happen. when i was younger, my lack of getting homework done and forgetfulness and hatred of school were all things to be punished. im 20 now and i still have issues with feeling invalidated and worthless. BUT ive come to realize that i am who i am and my reactions are completely reasonable for the frustrations my adhd presents in my life. you are completely justified in feeling upset about loosing a tuba, thats a normal human reaction, but you still have value and people still love you, even if they dont say it. try not to beat yourself up too much. i made that mistake for years. all that results in is low self-esteem and anxiety about making mistakes (in my case). tell your doctor if you feel you need help. finally, and i cannot stress this enough, youre reaction to this situation is normal and you still have a lot to offer society! feel free to talk it out if you want. youre not alone

[NekoGirl]

Originally Posted by stef

I could lose a tuba.

I would be less likely to lose a tuba, but I can:

-Forget about a friend's wedding!
-Forget about my ADD doctor appointments!
-Forget that my dog needs food to live!
-Forget to meet with my professors so I don't flunk out of college!
-Etc!

In other words, I think many of us can relate to feeling really, really ****ty after one of our "incidents". It just sucks, and I'm sorry this happened.

It does sound like ADD to me... something that is out of your control. ADD isn't something where you can just "get with it".

Hope you get feeling better, and congrats on not totally losing the tuba!

-Neko (a former bass drum marching band geek)