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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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Old 09-22-09, 02:25 AM
Blue137 Blue137 is offline

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Carrying a load of problems into college

So I was diagnosed with ADD and GAD with obsessive compulsive tendencies by two doctors when I was 16. I have a hard time believing that I have all of that but everytime I sit down and think about it, I find that I fit the descriptions the doctors show me more and more. I was put on lexapro, zoloft, and celexa when I was 16 - 18 but to no avail. (my dad claimed that they help his GAD so I said what the heck)
I have also been on concerta, ritalin, and am currently on adderall.
I am in SUNY oswego now and am lucky that I made it here in my point of view. But because I am an introverted sort of person I have not made any real friends in my 4 weeks here. I find that everytime I am presented with an oportunity to talk with a stranger wether it be a girl or guy, I freeze up and just go into a silent panic and just stand there with a fake comfortable look on my face staring off at some random object. I often weird people out and make others assume that I am stuck up or just a quiet nerd. Yet at the same time I do enjoy being around others occasionally but cant figure out how to convey that and get over my fear of saying something dumb or "not cool." The college jocks here seem to just be full of random worthless and meaningful conversation that impress and arrouse the shallow girls here. And to make it worse I left my handful of close friends behind in cortland. One of wich also has ADD but doesnt like the idea of stimulant aids. (I dont blame him)
BTW: I am actually a pretty good lookin guy, but because I dont have a library of meaningless conversation topics to consult I dont appeal to the girls (who I dont think are even worth impressing in the first place......but hey, they ARE good looking!!)

Any advice for a guy lost in a cloud of mental wheel-spinning?
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Old 09-23-09, 02:16 PM
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Logic Logic is offline
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Re: Carrying a load of problems into college

Hey, I'm in my 2nd year at University and have learned not to give a second thought to what other people are doing/interested in. I don't hang around with anyone from Uni, they all annoy me too much.
It's too painful when I try to 'fit in', I prefer to spend my time on my own, and get freaked out when people randomly speak to me - the part about staring at something nearby instead is 100% me.

I go to lectures, lab, tutorials and group meetings on my own.
I sit on my own, never with any group (even if I'm assigned to one).
As soon as I can, I leave, prefering to sit at the back to get an easy escape from class.

Sometimes, people 'recognise' me when they come into the club where I work, or sometimes they might see me at the gym, but I'm at the stage where they might say a brief 'hello', but nothing more.
Gone are the days where people would try to become my new best friend in an instant, in the vain hope that I would let them into the club for free (I'm security).

Don't worry about trying to fit in, or run with the pack.
This will force you to engage in behaviours and actions that you won't be comfortable undertaking, making you stick out like the proverbial sore thumb.
I manage to get by on my own, taking occasional involvement/interaction from others, and have found that I'm much more comfortable like this.

On the subject of ladies, I know that I'm a good looking guy too; big and muscular generally ticks all of the boxes that college ladies have, but I'm not interested in 'that kind of girl' - like you said they're mostly shallow and only interested in having a guy hanging onto their arm that can talk as much rubbish as they can!

Go after what you want, choose to actively pursue friendships or not to, and if it doesn't work - it doesn't work, just go after something else. Don't get hung up over it.

Whatever you choose, just take it easy.


FYI: I'm on methylphenidate, and have been since I was 7
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Old 09-23-09, 08:05 PM
I R ADD I R ADD is offline

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Re: Carrying a load of problems into college

Blue, you pretty much almost exactly described my situation, kind of creepy how that stuff happens. I just moved into college 4 weeks ago and having the same problems. All i can say that has helped me is getting out once in a while to the gym or just a walk or go to a coffee shop type place if your college has one on campus and just chill by yourself. My girlfriends of over 2 years broke up with me two days into college and now am by myself with all my friends at different schools or back home. Try not to sit around in your room to much and let your mind just wander and think about all the negatives. I know its extremely hard for some people especially people like myself who are pretty introverted. As for friends and girls just be yourself even though everyone says that its the truth if you want to find people that you will have meaningful relationships with. Just keep your head up and good things will happen even if it takes a while.
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Old 09-24-09, 12:47 PM
Vickie Vickie is offline
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Re: Carrying a load of problems into college

Just let things ride for now and don't stress over it. As you take more of your major classes, you will meet more people with similar interests and something to talk about.
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