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Old 10-16-09, 04:05 PM
Stoid Stoid is offline
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Strategies, Methods, Systems - Tools for using tools!

The first therapist I ever saw, 20 years ago, 15 years before my diagnosis, was stumped when I told her what I needed was "tools for how to use tools". What I meant was this: other kinds of disorders and issues and problems have a set of strategies and tools and methods, which invariably involved doing something, and probably doing it regularly.

But what do you do when the very nature of your problem is that:
1. You can't REMEMBER to do things.

2. You get sidetracked and again, forget to do things.

3. You lost the list of the things you were supposed to do under the other 77 lists you made about the other 572 things you were supposed to do.

4. You'd rather do something else.

5. What? What are you talking about? Oh, THAT...right...

6. I want to do these things, but how? Where do I begin? What is the structure? I don't know, I can't think, I'll do it later after I figure out how.

7. Maybe there's some software that is designed to help...wow, there IS software that might help! There's this and this and this and this and ooo...what's that? and download and download and download and open it up and... Oh damn! I put my laundry in the washer last Monday and now it's all sour and I have to start it over again... didn't I just water that plant, it's so dry...yes, Preston, we can play fetch....man, these shelves are a mess, I need to tidy them up...where are my gloves? Ewww! A spider!!! I need to go look that up on Google... oh lord! It's posisonous! And there's pictures of bites? Ewww, I have to look! Wow, VIDEO of someone's horrible bite? I have to watch that! Oh man! I was supposed to call about that thing, crap, they're closed! What? It's 7:30?? Oh no! The bank's closed and I forgot to make the deposit! I'll put a note up...where's that thick pen I like so much..and the yellow pad, I'll notice that for sure. I need the double-sided tape to stick it on the door, I'm sure it was in the kitchen drawer...wow, here's that masa flour I bought. I think I'll try my hand at making tamales...I need a good recipe, I'll look online...oh, this is good one, from this book...I wonder if I can get this book used? Let me check this book website...well, if i'm going to buy books, I need this and that book...oh, wow, the prices here are amazing, I'm going to pull up all 1,000 titles and make a wishlist so I don't forget...

and that last task will absorb me completely, to the point that I ignore my need to use the bathroom for hours.


That first therapist ended up telling me I had ADD without the label, Russell Barkley would have gotten it right away: "you never learned how to set a goal and work towards it, you never learned to control your impulses and delay gratification, you never learned to study and you have no structure... you need to do what your parents didn't do when you were a kid, and learn the way adults function. You need to parent yourself."

Swell. How exactly would that work?

So I got my diagnosis five years ago and yes, medication helped enormously. For awhile. But it's not doing as good a job, my life is insanely complicated and overscheduled and stressed, even for a normal person, I live and work alone and I have massive responsibilities.

And the only thing I've come up with so far is to get my business partner to be my babysitter. I am trying to consistently report what I'm going to do, that I've done it, and now I'm doing the next thing.

Right now I'm supposed to be doing something else.

But I wanted to post this to see what you do or have done or know of, apart from the meds, to actually learn how to FUNCTION! Actually, I don't know that at this point it's about "learning" anything, I've been operating like this for 51 years. It's about implementing tools, methods, strategies for taking control of myself and my life.

For the record, from what I've read, seen, heard, and experienced, I have pretty much the worst case of non-hyper ADD I've ever heard of, and I know that it isn't because my brain was made that way, it's because of my life experience. Every aspect of my life operated in such a way as to enhance, expand, and magnify all the ADD issues, starting when I was a child. So on top of the starting brain chemistry, I've run grooves in the brain itself.

Help.


Thanks.

Gotta go and try to do what i gotta do.
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  #2  
Old 10-16-09, 04:14 PM
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jayblaze2 jayblaze2 is offline
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Re: Strategies, Methods, Systems - Tools for using tools!

personally, i recently had a similar problem. i was reaching my ability to maintain stress due to large work loads.

ADD coexists with other disorders. Mine happens to be anxiety. I take anti-anxiety meds to cope. I dont have to take it 365 days a year but there are periods where its use is necessary.
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Old 10-16-09, 07:21 PM
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Re: Strategies, Methods, Systems - Tools for using tools!

We inattentives tend to know a lot of things. We just don't know how to do things... and well before we are able to figure out how to do something we cannot remember what it was we were doing in the first place and in the second place that was yesterday... or was it?
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