A Transformation Within One Year

[Hobbledehoy]

I truly believe that we who suffer from ADHD/ADD/Bipolar, and etc. were born with a purpose to fulfill. To, in sort, inspire mankind and, in brutal honesty, to harm mankind and lead the world in a pre-destined direction. We can be looked upon as pilots. We've lifted the spirits of men with paintings, we've pillaged and destroyed such as Hitler with his manic depression psychosis fueled by methamphetamine.

We've discovered the light bulb and created the most beautiful music. We did this because we were all distracted from the ordinary and had dreams of what could be. We are responsible for the best and worst of mankind's achievements.

With no political bias, I see George W. Bush as an untreated one of us. And I see President Obama as a treated one of us (why he won't release his medical records).

But it is we who brings change to the world because just one man can make a difference.

Now the sad part about our set of circumstances is that early Capitalism, driven by the greed and most importantly the lack of purpose and competition of manic depressives, has created a society where we serve now the Corporation. The corporation that those ill people in our nations past chased but found no happiness. It is my opinion that the money of held by the people of this nation was mostly earned during the beginnings of this nation and has only been transferred through generations and generations.

By serving the corporation, I mean being a worker bee. The common expectation, after getting out of college, is to, figuratively speaking, oar the corporations onwards.

But this requires a still mind because most of the work now is service oriented, void of physical activity. I understand that there are careers that are more exciting than mine (accounting), but most of every career requires a stable, compliant, and early waking mind.

The white collar workers are just farmers of other people's money.

The blue collar workers (diminishing) are the same, but we as a group excel here the most since there you get to build, manufacture, mine and etc.

I used to be driven by money with the dream of becoming rich. But now I've dramatically changed.

Yesterday, I was told at work that I was a "nice young man who is a hard worker".

This touched me since all of my activity this past year was to transfer myself into someone who can sit still and do his job for an entire eight hours.

And for the first time in the world, I don't know what my future holds. All I know is that it's all uphill from here and the sky is the limit. Whether I choose to climb constantly or rest contently on a certain floor step is entirely based on future circumstances which I am not aware.

Plans I have no more. General goals I do, but plans I haven't. Because I no longer have that need to constantly search a self-fantasized idea.

I will keep moving forward and deal with my stumbles in a more adult way based on my treatment; which serves as a good transition into my next statement. The only way I could have done this is with poly-pharmaceutics, patience, and a doctor willing to give you what you researched and proven your need for. And a doctor who is not afraid to prescribe more than one medication.

My first doctor, in Kaiser, had an ego that would not let me suggest my own medicine regime. And was so stout in his ability, would even look past my own testimony of how the drug has effected me.

The next doctor I had, also had an ego. This time even bigger than the last. He used silence as a weapon to ease his burden of having to initiate conversation.

But the difference between the two is that this doctor was actually willing to help and trust. And the same goes for my third doctor. They wanted to help me and would let me try many medication to find peace.

And aren't offended when you make adjustments and long as they were well researched. I believe they trust me because of the knowledge I display obtained by the burning desire to a. figure out my ailment and b. learn how to treat it.

Now I'm at the end of the road with medication and research. I'm not naive and am aware that things can turn south in a heart beat.

But this moment. This time. Belongs to me. And I feel victorious in this fight against who I was born to be and how society expected me to behave.

I have successfully transformed.

One may say that I traded in my creativity, desire, and passion. And I couldn't agree or disagree with that man because that I am unsure.

But I do know that if there is another brick wall in front of me, I still have the ability to disintegrate it.

So, only if I had something to fight for now. I think time will tell.

Thank you for reading and I don't even know what spurred me to write this. Writing has it's ways of healing and on that note, I'll thank ADDForums and it's moderators and all of the members here that debate every day.

Final Diagnosis and Treatment, mixed per myself and doctor.

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
Manic Depression
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Schizoaffective disorder (newly aquired)
Social and General Anxiety Disorder
Asperger's Syndrome

Successful Treatment

1.) Adderrall
2.) Zoloft
3.) Wellbutrin XR
4.) Klonopin
5.) Seroquel

I wish not this post be received as self-absorbed. Because that would make all original posts either self-absorbed or self-defeatists, which between the two I've posted a number of.

I'm Finished.

[Add-i-nyc]

It's a wonderful post. It's extremely soothing to me, even though I'm not sure it was meant to create that effect or any other for that matter with your readers, but being just diagnosed myself and feeling overwhelmed going through the grief cycle, this does sound soothing for me. I feel too, like there is hope for me, I feel relief and all sorts of other things and as I'm remembering the words you wrote, they sound familiar. This forum really is a home finally found, or the darkened room turned alight.
Thank you, as well.

[Waitingame]

Originally Posted by Hobbledehoy

I truly believe that we who suffer from ADHD/ADD/Bipolar, and etc. were born with a purpose to fulfill. To, in sort, inspire mankind and, in brutal honesty, to harm mankind and lead the world in a pre-destined direction. We can be looked upon as pilots. We've lifted the spirits of men with paintings, we've pillaged and destroyed such as Hitler with his manic depression psychosis fueled by methamphetamine.

We've discovered the light bulb and created the most beautiful music. We did this because we were all distracted from the ordinary and had dreams of what could be. We are responsible for the best and worst of mankind's achievements.

But it is we who brings change to the world because just one man can make a difference.

I like this part! Lots!

Originally Posted by Hobbledehoy

Now the sad part about our set of circumstances is that early Capitalism, driven by the greed and most importantly the lack of purpose and competition of manic depressives, has created a society where we serve now the Corporation.

This information/industrial society certainly does create challenges to navigate - even more reason to celebrate our accomplishments?

Your mention of capitalism made me think about the ADDers 100 years ago who had to navigate a rural, pre-industrial economy -

Can't you just see Farmer Brown grousing about his son, Fred, "What do I have to do to get that there boy to plow one straight row? Always running off to do this and that and wasting time trying to get out of hard work with one of his crazy 'inventions!' That boy'll be the death of me!"

And Farmer-Ma Brown just looks lovingly at her son, Fred, appreciating how he's special and wondering if he'll be able to keep his impulses under control enough to survive - like she has.

Of course, Fred goes on to invent some kind of awesome harvesting machine, but probably not before he gets a finger or two lopped off from daydreaming while he was using the scythe...

Hang on to the beginning of this post, Hobbledehoy - it sounds like a great opening speech for the 10th Annual World Conference on Productive Behavior Disorders (or some such business...).