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  #91  
Old 02-13-14, 11:13 AM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

Sorry, this is now way off topic and it is time for you to do your research. I threw out possibles that affected myself and others to give you ideas, not expecting to be expected to give you full diagnostic criteria. Good luck.
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  #92  
Old 02-14-14, 01:32 PM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

Actually, you provided me with all the info I needed. When I searched for the various topics you brought up, I found scholarly articles that linked the various supplements with measured chemical results. But, as scientists do (I am a scientist, so this is an acknowledgement of the scientific process, not a criticism), they focus the reported results on numerically measurable elements. Which are not symptoms. Which is why I asked you several times for, ultimately, the symptoms that led you to trying to "fix" something, or the personally-useful results you sought to achieve.

And, as long as I kept pulling you away from the biochem and back to "why would you do this?", you provided the answers.

And my evaluation is complete. The symptoms that I'd like to address are not the ones that would be affected by any of the many studies you're engaged in.

So, I appreciate it very much.

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  #93  
Old 03-14-14, 01:33 AM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

I'm 22 and I was just diagnosed this year. I will be graduating college in a few short months, and part of me regrets all the lost time. On paper I've had a pretty successful past four years, but I've payed a price of constant anxiety, obsessive-compulsive work habits, emotional turmoil, stunted social and romantic life, and overwhelming disorganization that left me hopeless. I became so burnt out that I could see nothing but my faults.

Both my parents and I couldn't initially accept ADHD as the cause of my problems. They told me I was "too smart." But eventually we realized that the chronic problems with organization and inattention went back to childhood, and my coping mechanisms had managed to take me this far.

Getting treatment has been so helpful, but I've experienced anger at myself and others for not addressing this sooner. After four years of misdiagnoses, medications, and therapy, it's been only within the past half year that I've felt any progress. I've been grieving because I feel liked I've been robbed of what people call "the best years of your life," and I've built myself up on an unsustainable base. I feel like only now am I starting over, and even with all the improvement I can't help but feel like it's too late for so many things.

My thoughts and best wishes go out to everyone dealing with this grieving process, and especially to others diagnosed late who are still putting together the pieces of their lives and making sense of things.
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  #94  
Old 03-14-14, 11:10 AM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

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Originally Posted by abk2014 View Post
I'm 22 and I was just diagnosed this year. I will be graduating college in a few short months, and part of me regrets all the lost time. On paper I've had a pretty successful past four years, but I've payed a price of constant anxiety, obsessive-compulsive work habits, emotional turmoil, stunted social and romantic life, and overwhelming disorganization that left me hopeless. I became so burnt out that I could see nothing but my faults.

.
Yeah, the cost of working in an overly revved up state sucks. Being dx'd late in life had me going over what might have been if I had been treated from grades school on up. But this was seldom treated then, I didn't know anyone all the way through high school who was dx'd and treated.

You can be proud of yourself though for doing so much with so much working against you. Let the sadness and anger become signals to praise yourself for keepin' on keepin' on even in the face of your faults which you had no control over. And look forward to life becoming easier.
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Old 03-15-14, 01:55 AM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

Why the grief? ADD can be a gift. We can do so much more than non-adders.
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Old 03-16-14, 05:54 PM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

A lot of gifts come with a cost. Had I been dx'd and treated much earlier I'd have been able to mitigate the burden. Imagine wearing 20 pound boots all your life and finding out how might more you can do without them. Yes, the boots might have helped climbing mountains but don't help much swimming. Being able to take them on and off as needed works for me. There's a lot of swimming I didn't do when weighed down by something I didn't know was there and could be removed.
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  #97  
Old 03-16-14, 09:54 PM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

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A lot of gifts come with a cost. Had I been dx'd and treated much earlier I'd have been able to mitigate the burden. Imagine wearing 20 pound boots all your life and finding out how might more you can do without them. Yes, the boots might have helped climbing mountains but don't help much swimming. Being able to take them on and off as needed works for me. There's a lot of swimming I didn't do when weighed down by something I didn't know was there and could be removed.
I certainly agree with that, but even treated, their are unique attributes, along with cost. I suffered with depression and alcoholism (self medication to calm my mind) for 20 years before discovering my diagnosis and the root of such. But even before that, it gave me drive, ability to resolve complex problems, etc.
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  #98  
Old 03-17-14, 09:56 AM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

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Originally Posted by usmccop View Post
I certainly agree with that, but even treated, their are unique attributes, along with cost. I suffered with depression and alcoholism (self medication to calm my mind) for 20 years before discovering my diagnosis and the root of such. But even before that, it gave me drive, ability to resolve complex problems, etc.
I'm curious why you think that the ADHD gave you those talents. I know plenty of driven problem-solvers who don't have ADHD.

We develop our talents partly because we're born with some, and partly because the life we lead convinces us to develop them. About the only "life skill" that ADHD's impact seems reasonably capable of causing us to learn is the art of recovering after a blunder, since we get so much practice.

Why is it that people who have ADHD and have some skills, attribute the skills to the ADHD? If they didn't have ADHD and had those skills, what would they attribute the skills to?
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  #99  
Old 03-17-14, 10:52 AM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

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Originally Posted by WheresMyMind View Post
I'm curious why you think that the ADHD gave you those talents. I know plenty of driven problem-solvers who don't have ADHD.

We develop our talents partly because we're born with some, and partly because the life we lead convinces us to develop them. About the only "life skill" that ADHD's impact seems reasonably capable of causing us to learn is the art of recovering after a blunder, since we get so much practice.

Why is it that people who have ADHD and have some skills, attribute the skills to the ADHD? If they didn't have ADHD and had those skills, what would they attribute the skills to?
I choose to call it a gift. I'd think it's fair to say I may be wrong that it gave me drive, but it challenged me, which I didn't know as a child. I always new my mind was different. I had to challenge myself, without knowing it at the time, as my brain was different. I worked hard at grasping and understand complex problems (academic problems), but once I did, I was an expert at the problem at hand. Not all, but most, Add-ers have had to do the same thing.

I don't view ADD as problem or an excuse, yet a gift. We have many attributes others don't.
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  #100  
Old 07-02-14, 01:05 PM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

I just wanted to say "thank you" for posting this article. My 48 year old boyfriend was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and has been on Vyvanse for one month. At first he was elated - he finally had an answer to what was going on all of his life. But now, he just seems sad - demoralized even. I think he may be in the denial stage - he hasn't really "owned" his diagnosis. This article helps me to understand a little bit of what he must be going through.
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  #101  
Old 07-06-14, 02:15 AM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

For me diagnosed as a kid I never agreed with it and the medication never relieved it. I partly acknowledged it in late teens. I have been on and off stimulant medications since then. They do not always work, they are a nightmare for me. I have found add is a part of the problem but there is many other things at work inside my dysphoric mind. Depression, Aspergers, and supposed ADD all of which I am at odds with, frustrated with my options which are limited due to a dystopian society where medications that make you feel well are outlawed. I have come to the conclusion that I must take the stimulants, so I do so begrudgingly not because they work very well but are the best legal option available and I must make a life for myself or the shame of failure will overcome me.
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  #102  
Old 07-06-14, 06:16 AM
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Cool Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

I guess this is a really personal experience, one's reaction to being diagnosed.

I was diagnosed about 6 or 7 years ago, in my mid-40's. It was an instant relief ... mainly to know I wasn't going crazy, it was just ADD. I was thankful that what I have is cheap to manage (meds etc.), it's covered off by lots of easily accessible professionals, and there's lots of good, solid, reliable information to source about everything to do with ADD. And all of these things have only gotten better in the past seven years.

Every day, for me, it's a blessing to have the option of informed choice - with regard to doing nothing about my disorder; or taking medication, and/or remedial treatment to deal with it.

I experienced my grief and frustration and angst and disappointment and despair etc., during the chaotic decades of life with undiagnosed ADD. For me, finding out I have ADD was a god-send.
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  #103  
Old 07-07-14, 01:17 AM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

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Originally Posted by MADD As A Hatte View Post
I guess this is a really personal experience, one's reaction to being diagnosed.

I was diagnosed about 6 or 7 years ago, in my mid-40's. It was an instant relief ... mainly to know I wasn't going crazy, it was just ADD. I was thankful that what I have is cheap to manage (meds etc.), it's covered off by lots of easily accessible professionals, and there's lots of good, solid, reliable information to source about everything to do with ADD. And all of these things have only gotten better in the past seven years.

Every day, for me, it's a blessing to have the option of informed choice - with regard to doing nothing about my disorder; or taking medication, and/or remedial treatment to deal with it.

I experienced my grief and frustration and angst and disappointment and despair etc., during the chaotic decades of life with undiagnosed ADD. For me, finding out I have ADD was a god-send.
I felt mostly hope...hope that I could be different than I was. Because what I was seemed to be someone who could never accomplish anything, who was utterly incapable of anything that a job demanded (oh, I could do the work, I just could not STICK to the work!).

I never had that whole grief/frustration thing because, being ADD, I was incapable of noticing how different I was from others...but life sure was chaotic. I simply assumed it was that way for everybody.

But the hope I felt initially got trampled pretty fast, when I went through the med titration process and realized that I was one of the 75% (Hallwell and Ratey) for whom meds are only partially effective.

Then the realization of just how much money this could cost..."pills don't teach skills", and professionals who actually understand ADHD, particularly that it manifests vastly differently in each person who had it, are not only $150+ per hour, but generally not covered by insurance. And, amazingly, that unless you are in a major city, or one of those in which ADHD got "trendy", there really are no specialists. In Denver, there were three, and they charge $350/hour and did not take insurance. In Sonoma County, CA, there were none. Here in Portland, OR, there are eight, and none take insurance. What you mean by "easily accessible" is obviously different from my world!

And then the books. Oh, man, did THAT give me a downer.

Lynn Weiss: "it's easy. Find someone who's capabilities you desire. Mimic them." Uh, right. A is virtually impossible, then just try to figure out how they do it. The most organized humans I know don't use calendars, to-do lists, or any of that stuff. I'd die without them.

Tuckman: 300 tips on managing ADHD Um, I have ADHD, how about giving me the top 5 to try?

For me, the diagnosis was a positive thing. But when we moved into "what to do about it", I realized it was for those beyond my financial means. That's when the grief set in.
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  #104  
Old 11-16-14, 02:15 AM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

add or such disorder is symptom of dysfunctional society and education system that rewards only those that pretend to learn by blindly obeying instructions and not caring if instructions or reading material is of value worth to spend time on, including those that can bypass the dysfunctional requirements r talented or rich unless u have wisdom or great advise to correct course of action: u'll end up lost meaning almost our entire system in all of its forms, legal & education & religion is ? rigged to favor psychopaths, but even they need talent or luck or connection
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Old 11-19-14, 08:20 AM
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Re: The Grief process after being diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD.

add in simple terms is your brain telling you not to be stupid and obey common sense, but society is set up in such a way by corrupt people with no common sense with almost no or zero moral values other than how to increase personal profit at any cost, that such society or all such societies reward those that have psychology or personality that of psychopaths, but as long as they obey rules written by those in charge, who follow rules by those higher up. in summary, the or our society or all such society reward[s] stupidity means punishes efficiency is getting a college degree cost s much as buying a house or new expensive car where cost of books for one college course is that of a computer: cost for bag of nuts@$9 that how in hell/heaven can someone live on minimum wage working part time@such cost is inflation to steal from u to keep you slave no matter how hard you try unless u pretend to care & follow rules written by those in charge even if those rules violate common sense is why people quarrel and fight and not trust each other, is why men get punished when he tries to do the right thing, while women not punished for doing the wrong thing: this is all intentional to scam and mis-guide and confuse everyone, like pressure cooker: a small hope to get out by exit is these add medications, except even there the evil rulers plot to keep you as their slaves or turn you in mindless savages, such as there is no 45 mg Concerta is done intentionally so you pick 54 which is too much or trick kids to take 54 so they the kids get heart attack or abused or hit by parents for not obeying to take 54 is NOT for kids but only for tall people or adults older than 18, and another way these evil psychopaths fool and abuse you regarding add medication for this particular kind is that they limit how many you can use to one or two to prevent u and yur kids from escaping from their evil trap, while those that work for them, such as pharmacies, blindly obey, is why & how so many prescriptions are wrong but none see obvious reason to why & how. this is only one example and only one way they the evil masters trap you with debt to get you to take on debt but not allow u to pay that debt off but to keep u slave with interest, meaning there are thousands of other ways these evil geniuses come up with ways to trap including something s innocent s french fries is/r unhealthy, while potato wedges r healthy, including width of your car tires so to get you & your car into accident during winter to get you to think you need car insurance, when system is rigged to plot against u @ every turn is why those college students that never question nor criticize nor disobey their professors get best grades while those that try to learn truth and do thing correctly get worst grades
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