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Old 02-13-10, 01:57 PM
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Exclamation need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

I had a conflict at work and it was resolved. it had an impact on me in several ways. Having trouble letting go. I am irritable and feel anxiety is running crazy. Had medicine today and usually it helps with sorting it all out to a point I can handle. But not this time please hel[p
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Old 02-13-10, 02:19 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

You need to burn the adrenaline that flooded your system when you got upset. Try a brisk walk for about an hour. You should cover roughly three miles in that time so be aware of when it is time to turn around. You can go longer if you want but three miles should give you the burn off that you need and let the helpful brain chemicals loose.

When I can't walk or need to stay outside of the anger box, I will generally shred paper. It gives you something to focus on and redirect your mind. I find it soothing.

Another thing that has helped in the past- I have a huge packing box that I can break down flat quite easily. I have been known to set it up in the garage and throw thrift store crockery into it. There is something that is relaxing about this- it is just physical enough to get the happy brain working and I can visualize the thing I am angry at/about being shattered over and over.

A good cardio workout will do the same thing as the walk.

(((hugs)))
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Old 02-13-10, 02:25 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

I think Tigger is right about doing something physical. Especially for a fire fighter, since you are probably in good shape.

Jumping jacks, push ups, pull ups, walk, run -- whatever you can do -- until you exhaust that extra adrenaline.

And slow regular deep breathing can help too.

HTH
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Old 02-13-10, 02:36 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

thanks a ton. I have direction now. when the little things bother me or get on my nerves i know i am not good. you just gave me hope, comfort, and the drive i needed. I am also a medic, and i never though about adrenalin. That is exactaly whats has nerves on edge! Just glad to have someone to pull me out of that little knot hole that i look out of when it come to myself!
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Old 02-13-10, 03:01 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

When I start to think medicines are not as affective or I need more than normal i start getting desperate and red flags are popping up in my mind. i wish someone would tell me if this is addictive behavior surfacing or what. I have walked in therapy felling like crap and left there feeling great. I am very physical and high strung. My father in law calls me heavy handed. If its not what we call at work fireman proof we will break it. the point is I think therapy on some issues and just physical work or exercise or play for other situations. None of this made since until the above posts where read by me. thanks so much and i know , i know, but i have a need to understand it all. I wish i could just be like , if thats the way it is that ok, but no not me i have to understand, cant stand it. its has to have order.

my symptoms are as follows: sensitive to noise, no patients, miss details, in high speed, feel the need for argument, defensive, perfectionist, control of situations, take charge, addiction, self medicate, over take , can not focus, come across rude , Im trying here, but i am sure i missed servceral, with vyvace and dex to boot I can manage most of these, oh and never content, feel like i need something, risky behavior,

anyway one of YOU OUT THERE in adultland adhd take me under your wing. i was diagnoses at six and finally with my wifes help go treated and doing better two years ago and i am 34

My second wife that is. i have been in a terrible cycle of alcohol and pills all my life and no i dont want anything until today, or when i feel like i feel to day. so with that said i have been put back on track. from not content and no clue to having a direction.

so someone be my direction i need a sponsor on here. i know someone can relate and have a need to help. lol..
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Old 02-13-10, 04:17 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

Quote:
Originally Posted by firefighter View Post
When I start to think medicines are not as affective or I need more than normal i start getting desperate and red flags are popping up in my mind. i wish someone would tell me if this is addictive behavior surfacing or what.
As I recall you are taking a very high dose of vyvanse because you metabolize the med quickly, and you're spending a ton on it because your insurance co only covers 70mg. Is this still the case? Spending that much dough on meds has to be stressful in itself.

You mentioned in another post you are taking Dex IR to supplement. How's that working out (something I might consider at some point). Does it make you overly anxious or agitated? Also is the Dex IR more potent and fast acting? I would think that might possibly contribute to perhaps a peak that, if occuring at a time of high emotion or stress, might be less than ideal. I'm not taking Dex IR so I really have no idea, just a thought. I know when I was on adderall XR and started taking IR as a booster, it sometimes made me too excitable. I was glad to move to vyvance. (P.S. My insurance pays for 100mg/day vyvanse. That your's doesn't seems like total bs).

Quote:
I have walked in therapy felling like crap and left there feeling great. I am very physical and high strung. My father in law calls me heavy handed. If its not what we call at work fireman proof we will break it. the point is I think therapy on some issues and just physical work or exercise or play for other situations. None of this made since until the above posts where read by me. thanks so much and i know , i know, but i have a need to understand it all. I wish i could just be like , if thats the way it is that ok, but no not me i have to understand, cant stand it. its has to have order.
Do you see a therapist regularly? Yeah, if I follow you, I have to understand things thoroughly too. I think a lot of people here are that way. I tend to take things very literally and can be very persistent and stubborn in trying to get answers. I think this is a good thing, though my wife may disagree. There are some good posts about this, . Have you discussed these questions with your therapist lately? Is your therapist helpful in specifically troubleshooting your add challenges?

Quote:
my symptoms are as follows: sensitive to noise, no patients, miss details, in high speed, feel the need for argument, defensive, perfectionist, control of situations, take charge, addiction, self medicate, over take , can not focus, come across rude , Im trying here, but i am sure i missed servceral, with vyvace and dex to boot I can manage most of these, oh and never content, feel like i need something, risky behavior,
Yeah that sounds like me. I have held boring desk jobs for many years, (unlike you) so I compensate largely outside of work. (Extreme mountain biking, adrenaline junky, love to argue (I refrain at work, so my family bears the brunt of this), addictive personality (beer, wine, weed, loud rock concerts, spending too much money). Vyanse is doing wonders for all this.

Quote:
anyway one of YOU OUT THERE in adultland adhd take me under your wing. i was diagnoses at six and finally with my wifes help go treated and doing better two years ago and i am 34
I like the way you put that. I think many here will take you under their wing. We all help one another. I'm gonna need help too. I start a new job Tuesday after 11 months of unemployment. During these 11 months I hit rock bottom with depression and immobility and finally sought help, got the diagnosis and treatment. The fact that I have ADD is still very new to me. Last August I knew almost nothing about it so I'm still processing this big time and will be for a while, I think.

Quote:
My second wife that is. i have been in a terrible cycle of alcohol and pills all my life and no i dont want anything until today, or when i feel like i feel to day. so with that said i have been put back on track. from not content and no clue to having a direction.
It sounds like, despite any current difficulties, you see the light at the end of the the tunnel. Keep your eyes on that light. You have a lifetime of habits developed to help you deal with untreated add. It will take time to see which habits are counterproductive and figure out what you want to do about them. I'm only beginning this process. I would like to find a therapist who is experienced in dealing with these challenges, but for now we've got this forum. I also found these books tremendously helpful:

http://www.amazon.com/Now-Habit-Over...6091299&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Learned-Optimi...6091400&sr=8-1

These aren't specifically for adders but tremendously helpful for perfectionists, procrastinators and people trying to escape negative thinking.

Also, if you want to read more about add, I highly recommend this book because it presents a different model of ADD which I found very helpful in understanding how I my mind works:

http://www.amazon.com/Attention-Defi...6092194&sr=1-1
Sorry if this was way more information than you were looking for

Quote:
so someone be my direction i need a sponsor on here. i know someone can relate and have a need to help. lol
I can definitely relate. "Sponsor" sounds intimdating. Let's just watch each other's backs
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Old 02-13-10, 04:25 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

Hey sweetie- this is what we are all here for. Especially if you are new to all this, it can be totally overwhelming. You can easily start thinking that you are useless, hopeless, etc without really understanding what is going on.

Medications help but they are not a magic bullet. They HELP to relieve some symptoms. Some other things that are helpful are nutrition, exercise, brain training, meditation, and supplements. Let's look at these in order.

Nutrition- it is frequently opined that we need higher protein intake than the average guy. Regardless, there are some foods that we should probably eat more of, some that we should probably eat less of. My best advice here is to get a referral to a nutritionist and follow directions. When I eat properly, I stay in a relaxed state more easily.

Exercise- to me this one is critical. You need to be doing something cardio every day. It will help keep your adrenaline level under control and give you a shot of happy brain. Promise yourself an hour a day of walking. That is three miles at an average stride. Your brain will thank you.

Brain Training- One of my absolute favorites. I love a good puzzle. Dell and Pennypress even publish a bi-monthly specifically aimed at brain training. I am pretty poor at sequencing- like many ADHDers- and I find this activity extremely helpful. I have a disk of brain training exercises that I have installed on my netbook. I also have puzzle books in my tote.

Meditation- This one can be tough for ADHDers and, like me, you sound like a Hyper/Impulsive. Start out just trying to get your body to relax. Do not expect that you will fold yourself into a lotus and suddenly make your mind go quiet. Just get to where you can relax on demand. Set realistic limits. One minute is going to be tougher than 15. Increase at a rational pace. It has been an amazing help to me.

Supplements- there is no specific information on whether or not supplements work. What is absolutely known is that people do really well when they add a Fish Oil to their diet. I use a Double Strength Omega 3 that I buy at Walgreens. I also take a Magnesium supplement. If you decide to follow the path of seeing a Nutritionist, ask that person about supplements that might benefit you.

ADHDers are often sensitive to noise and often have quite acute hearing so we tend to be more impacted by sound. I can sometimes get myself to ignore irritating noises and sometimes not. A Touch and headphones have really helped me on that.

No patience. Not only is that common- especially for us Hyper/Impulsives- but it is reinforced by your job. Let's face it. Running into a burning building kinda requires that you be willing to not stand around and chat much. You are a "get it done" kind of guy. The other side is that sometimes you need patience. Meditation will help you a great deal with learning how to be okay with that.

Missing details will get better as you start actively training your brain. Those "Spot the Difference" type puzzles will really help. As you learn to look for small things, you will find that you don't miss details as often.

Take charge, risk behavior, self medicating, over taking people and things are all a part of the Hyper/Impulsive thing. It sounds like you are primarily Hyper/Impulsive so you may experience these things to a greater degree than someone with Combined type or is primarily Inattentive. Like I said, I'm a Hyper/Impulsive too. Means we have to be MUCH stricter with ourselves. It IS do-able.

I'd better stop before this becomes an unreadable wall of text. Just know that there are solutions and you are not alone.

(((hugs)))
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Old 02-13-10, 06:18 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

Exercise helps me when I'm angry

When I was younger when I would get into a fight with my sisters and if they hit me, I would automatically hit them back I'm impulsive...but I learned from doing co-op in child care centres that hitting is a no-no...so if you feel like you're about to knock someone out, what I do is walk away and take deep breaths and count to 10
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Old 02-13-10, 07:08 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

I have been fired for my jobs several times because of anger, I have had fights with taxi drivers for minor traffic things, I am desperate. I am a mature person ,I know this behaviour is wrong.. fficeffice" />>>
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Old 02-13-10, 07:18 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

What I do: close my eyes, take a deeeeeeep breath and walk out. As I'm going for my walk, I have an imaginary conversation with the person who's angered me (sometimes in my head, but it's better out loud - if you can ignore the funny looks), explaining my point of view (and sometimes getting into a heated argument). Then I remind myself of something good about them, and remind myself that they are 'trying their best', and that it's not their fault they're an annoying little sh*t.

It always works.
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Old 02-13-10, 07:51 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

Alright, I am going to try this.. lol

Insurance pays for one 70mg a day.
So I fill that and use dex 10 ir so i can keep coverage
with one a day, not real good, but what do you do
If i take 2 vyvacne in morning and use dex 10 ir it is better etc.

I have sent the ceo of my insurance an email with my life story and how important it is to have insurance that I pay for and support me and my doc and my two kids with add

Therapy. yes every week i go, also have good friend that I can talk to over phone by voice or txt.
Have been in medical field for ten years and i lean on alot of them, however, its very limited and not to personable. remember i have to maintain a leadership role and decition making that is life or death sometimes. I have the advantage i do my best all wired on adrenalin. i am at my best, its always been that way.

to be continued
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Old 02-13-10, 08:09 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

Firefighter, this is gonna sound like a crazy question but... are you a smoker? The reason I ask is because many ADHDers self medicate with nicotine. The downside is that it is a highly addictive way to get a boost.

But so is adrenaline.

Can your MD reach out to your insurance company? Reason I ask is that sometimes, what is needed is someone (your doc) to validate to the insurance people that you are on the amount of medication you are on because lower doses are not therapeutic. I recently had to gear up to fight that battle and learned that it is a part of the insurance company's checks and balances.

Another thing you can try is to go to Shire directly and see if they will help subsidize your scrip. Another idea might be to look into adjunctive coverage. I know it exists for generics and might for brand.

I had my best results going to WalMart or Costco for medications. Generally the best price available.

Trying to make a go of it without proper medical support is a rough way to go.

(((hugs)))
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Old 02-13-10, 10:21 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

thanks for the info about insurance and contacting shire.. My doctor and I are in the process of appeal, which can take a while to be resolved. I was a smoker until 3 years ago. It was very hard to quit , but i managed to do it. This is crazy but this is what i had to do. I started with the highest dose patch and i would cut it down, 21 then half then half etc. it took over a year and a half... no joking .... i wore those things that long, but i finally got it.. i also loved to dip or chew. It went hand in hand with my hobbies. I enjoyed it when I hunted especially. Hunting was my escape growing up and to this day duck season is what i do the month of January. It is the place where I feel like me no matter what. I noticed more details now and dont have anger as a driving force, anyway iv lost my train of thought.

anyway it is hard, i see it as the insurance copany is playing with my life. it is like controling the quality and its very nerve racking. I am breaking out in a sweat just taling about it...
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Old 02-13-10, 10:24 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

oh and my soon to be nine year old just sit down beside me and said he is sick of the way his life is... oh me.. oh it would be nice to have covarage right now instead of sweating and that blank look on my face..
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Old 02-13-10, 10:37 PM
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Re: need help letting go of anger!! bout to blow

alright, kid good, mad over a blanket its all better,

I failed to remember earlier that I take 200mg seroquel at night for depression. Thats a topic I need some info on. I also take cymbalta 60mg in morning. Just realized I didn't remember this when I listed all my meds earlier and I have been on geodon, lexapro, wellbutrion, a beta blocker for tremors they got better, and I have always been taken something. one combo was lex,wellb, and geo at night, worked for a while, slipped right back to pain pills and wine, beer, vodca, jack, whatever i was certain i needed mixed with the hydos..

I dont take any thing now other than i am suppose to. when all the factors line up I feel completely at peace and i shine , its the keeping it there, the above advise is great. I am also dealing with acid reflux. I really think this condition or anit acids other that Tums or something like Tums affects medicines. Time released I sure affects some foods and vitamins from absorbing completely
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