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Old 02-15-10, 10:48 AM
TexasBelle TexasBelle is offline
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feeling worthless at work, how do you deal???

How do you deal with the feelings of worthlessness, or coworkers treating you like a child or having to tell you over and over to do something? I hate this and I am very intelligent and I know my internal abilities are completely above the menial task work that I seem to fail at completing =( I am so smart and able to comprehend advance topics- why can't i do easy things?

(the rest of this is really long its really just a vent but if you want, or you're able to, you can read it
I feel like I have to prove to my coworkers that I am not a lazy person and everytime I get ahead I do something else wrong that makes me feel like a kid they have to correct.

I have been at my current job for a year almost - minus the time i took off for maternity leave which was only a few weeks - and still sometimes not getting the "hang" of it. I know what i am supposed to do and how I am "supposed" to do it, but at times I find myself reluctant to do my work. why? I have time to do most of it - its not like I am swamped with work as I was before - and I still forget or procrastinate for so long that when I do find myself ready to work I am so backed up that it takes me forever to dig myself out of the hole i'm in.

I took over for a very sweet lady last year who retired and she was super organized and super anal about everything and I am completely the opposite although I try really hard and it makes me cry most days. I am in charge of billing for part of our office and wow I can't begin to tell you how DIFFICULT keeping up with that is, even though it is a completly simple system with very few clients included in my part of the billing.

I was diagnosed with adhd last year and now I am now on a medication to treat my ADHDand although my coworkers know my situation I know they don't understand it and think it is a cop out. Sometimes they roll their eyes at me when they tell me "this needs to be done!!" or try to correct the things that I have already done. I can tell my medication is working but its only been about a month and I am still trying to dig myself out of the hole I'm in.

Thankfully by the time I have finished my work there are minimal, if any, mistakes - but I feel like I have to go over and over my office chores jsut to get it done right, when I could do it right the first time - If only i didn't have that voice in my head saying "Oh youre half done with that, just put it away and you can go back to it later!!" I have a hard time arguing with that voice too.

Thanks for letting me vent, I didn't realize it was so long until now =(
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Old 02-15-10, 11:09 AM
Dizfriz Dizfriz is offline
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Re: feeling worthless at work, how do you deal???

Sometimes the problem is being in the wrong job. I wrote a short article on careers for ADHD'ers that may be of some small use. You might check it out for ideas.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=60130

Good luck.

Dizfriz
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Old 02-15-10, 12:01 PM
TexasBelle TexasBelle is offline
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Re: feeling worthless at work, how do you deal???

Thanks!! I will definately read it!
I kind of think that is also the case, as I thrived in a fast paced job at a busy hotel in the city but when I moved to my small hometown there was nothing in this career field for me, so I went back to journalism which was my main focus in high school and college.
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Old 02-15-10, 05:03 PM
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Re: feeling worthless at work, how do you deal???

yikes that could be me! I hate billing. I mean I can't even do it.

first of all EVERYONE makes some mistakes, ADD or not.
Look back at what the super-organised person did; you could come up with a simplified system. (when I started this job I was like you have GOT to be kidding, who has time to file stuff so meticulously) so just find a system that works; re-write the "procedures" you have to follow in your own writing and keep that somewhere where you can glance at it quickly. Ask questions if you don't understand something.

You were in journalism? can you change to a different department? can you make what you're doing more interesting?

Don't give up and the last thing is stop comparing yourself to other people. As I've posted before I can't work a lot of minimum wage jobs with inattentive ADD (cashier, waitress...) and in my office job I make some errors still; which I thought meant I was stupid; but I can proofread, summarize and translate faster than the people I work for. (hoping to do more of this but that's a future thread!)

Take heart and if you really hate it, try looking for something else, that's ok too!
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Old 02-18-10, 11:54 PM
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Re: feeling worthless at work, how do you deal???

I've been in your position, i did some office jobs and felt, and was treated, much the same way. Its drains your self-esteem and that is what can be really damaging.

I read your post and tried to think of what would have helped me in those situations, at the time.

The one thing that would have helped me is to be able to talk about it, without judgement, to people who understand. So please, vent here WHENEVER you need.

I'm also wondering if there is some other area that you can try (not work - i'm talking hobby or interest) that will help you build up your confidence outside of the workplace. When you have trouble at your job, it can become the focus of your whole life, which is understandable since when you work full-time, you spend more time there than anywhere else, or with anyone else. You spend more time with your co-workers than with your family or friends.

Just try to break the cycle in whatever small ways you can. If there's a gym with a big punching bag in it, go there and punch. Offices can be really b*itchy places to work in. Those feelings of that lead to women losing self-esteem; sadness, helplessness, loss of control etc, is often anger internalised. Try to let it out. (But not on your co-workers - sorry, i know you want to hit them over the head with the fax machine, and they probably deserve it, but you can't.)
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Old 02-20-10, 08:44 PM
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Re: feeling worthless at work, how do you deal???

I'm a teacher, so the crazy pace of the school day and the energy level of the young ones works for me.

There are many, many times the office will call me to send a student up to the office to go home, and then I hang up the phone, and boom - forget to send up the student! And they will call back and I just have to play it off.

Sometimes my paperwork (it's never ending!) is late and sometimes I lose it. But my coworkers are usually cool about it.

The cool thing about being a teacher is that your job changes from year to year, whether it's just a new set of students, or you change the grade level you teach.

The bad part is ---- my hyper energy transfers to my students, so my class is always high energy!
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Old 02-22-10, 12:05 PM
TexasBelle TexasBelle is offline
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Re: feeling worthless at work, how do you deal???

Thank you so much for your reply! I am trying to think of anothjer area where I can build my self esteem outside of work, and frankly all I do besides work is hang out with my infant son. I find more joy in that than anything else I could possibly be doing and I kind of drown myself in that. I know that it is not a bad thing that I spend every last waking moment with my baby but there are other things I could be doing (even including him!) outside our home.

I really wish I had a punching bag because often times I get so overwhelmed with anger I want to storm out and quit and say F*#K OFF. but I don't. Possibly because I have learned better impulse control (THANK GOD) and I think my medicine is helping with the abrupt shift from content to angry when somebody up here really hits a nerve. Used to i would let them affect me quickly and bottle it inside and it would hurt really bad... now these days I am better at shifting my attention to something else and not letting their words or whatever get to me, but they still do.
Thanks for your encouragement!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Asylum View Post
I've been in your position, i did some office jobs and felt, and was treated, much the same way. Its drains your self-esteem and that is what can be really damaging.

I read your post and tried to think of what would have helped me in those situations, at the time.

The one thing that would have helped me is to be able to talk about it, without judgement, to people who understand. So please, vent here WHENEVER you need.

I'm also wondering if there is some other area that you can try (not work - i'm talking hobby or interest) that will help you build up your confidence outside of the workplace. When you have trouble at your job, it can become the focus of your whole life, which is understandable since when you work full-time, you spend more time there than anywhere else, or with anyone else. You spend more time with your co-workers than with your family or friends.

Just try to break the cycle in whatever small ways you can. If there's a gym with a big punching bag in it, go there and punch. Offices can be really b*itchy places to work in. Those feelings of that lead to women losing self-esteem; sadness, helplessness, loss of control etc, is often anger internalised. Try to let it out. (But not on your co-workers - sorry, i know you want to hit them over the head with the fax machine, and they probably deserve it, but you can't.)
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