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Old 04-22-10, 02:48 PM
ADHDeveloper ADHDeveloper is offline
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So its been over a year now since I got diagnosed...

Its been about 14 months now since I got diagnosed with ADD and I have been taking adderall XR for most of this time. My doctor started me on 10mg once a day slowly ramped to now where I take between 40-50mg.

In between I've tried Concerta and Dexedrine.

Adderall initially gave me lots of anxiety, but after trial and error I think i've
pinned the anxiety down to combining adderall with coffee. I used to drink lots of coffee and now it seems like whenever I drink coffee and i've taken adderall, it gives me anxiety issues. Thankfully I've mostly given up coffee and now I only recreationally drink it (I love the taste..)

One think I can say for sure is the medicine is not addictive. Many times when my refill finishes I end up not taking it for a week or so because I keep putting off going and getting my prescription refilled. The first day or two I can be a bit drowsy but nothing I cant take care off with proper exercise in the morning.

The biggest issue I face with this medicine is the lack of appetite. I was tall and skinny as it was before and I lost about 10lb going on this medication. Nowadays I am working out and trying to put on weight but I since I dont feel like eating too much, the putting on weight part is a bit of a hassle

Looking back at the past year, my life has changed immensly. I've gained confidence in my abilities as a programmer, started a side-business that is slowly ramping up to success and gotten 20% increase in my pay which is substantial by any measure in these times.

I went through immense stresses in the past year.My wife who's been behaving extremely erratically and irrationally for a few years, fell in 'like'
with one of her professors and finally got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder. We are now slowly preparing for
separation as we both realize things wont work out likely and that she needs support and help to get over her issues. Despite all these stresses
I am somehow still alive and sane, and im not sure if I want to blame that on the forgive and forget nature of ADHD or the benefits derived
from being on Adderall. Here I am, and I'm ALMOST better than ever. Still though.. I wonder if all my sadness and anger is just bottled up
somewhere waiting to come out with a bang...that would suck. The doc says be happy you got adhd to get through this...

So yep. A year later, my professional life is a success, my personal life is a failure, but not because of ADHD or Meds. The way things are going now, in a year I`ll likely be seperated or divorced, trying to figure out what to do next, how to get over my wife while helping her rebuild her life and find some peace, and at the same time figuring what to do about my own personal life. BorderLine Personality Disorder is a tragic disorder for those afflicted with it, and unfortunately for them there is not much they can do about it.

It seems that my life is, and always has been a series of crossroads, and each time I take a turn I reach yet another fork in the road. Woah..deep
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Old 04-22-10, 10:30 PM
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Re: So its been over a year now since I got diagnosed...

Well I am very sorry to hear about the account of your personal life but your story is really enabling me to try and go back on Vyvanse again. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 04-22-10, 11:16 PM
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Re: So its been over a year now since I got diagnosed...

Thanks for sharing your story. I know it takes a lot of courage to put it all out there. I don't really know what to say about your personal life. I don't have much experience in that department, but I hope everything works out for the better.
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Old 04-28-10, 07:36 AM
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Marla911 Marla911 is offline
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Re: So its been over a year now since I got diagnosed...

Having BPD myself I can only immagine how difficult it must have been with your wife and respect at this time it is probably better you are divorcing (in a general sense obviously I dont know your situation personally). I'm glad things are looking more positive for you in the other areas of your life.

I would like to just counter the last point that 'there is not much that can be done for BPD'. That's a commonly repeated myth. I have been in treatment since 2005 and have improved immensly just through self awareness of my actions. You and your ex-wife may already know this but may I suggest looking into DBT (Dialectal behaviour therapy) or even the newer, yet very good ACT (Acceptance and Committment therapy) - I did this one as a group course that lasted a year and a lot of people in the group got a lot out of it (ACT combines both parts of DBT and MBT). Unfortunatley for me it was decided I would do better in an individual setting as my bpd is considered very high functioning whereas the others in the group were low-functioning. Anyway I digress, the other thing your wife should check out is Mindfullness Behaviour Therapy (MBT). This can be applied for a lot of things (Even add) but is very good for borderlines.
Good luck to your both.
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