ADDer's trouble opening up to get the proper help needed

[Miztieped]

I wasn't sure what to name the post but i think it fits
one of my biggest problems is putting into words what i need.. I hard for me to say i need for example
I need help organizng my monthly schdule because I loose sight of the big picture but i do ok with a weekly
I need help at home with correspondence and cleaning but i havn't even figured out what i need yet or what will work
I have supportvie people arround me but i am not used to excepting help so it make me defensive and not easy to be around and so it cycles and nothing really gets done
i have been a member for a coule of weeks but this is the first time i have gotten up the nerve to post
i not sure what part is so hard for me ... finding the words to express what you need or accepting the help after you asked :-(
Has this ever happend to anyone ....does it get easier?

[fasttalkingmom]

I hear you and I do the same thing. Not sure if most of it gets any easier, it hasn't for me.

Posting here does get easer !

[GOLDILOCKS]

I agree with fast...opening up (something difficult for me) is easier on here. Noone questions you, or dogs you out about anything, and there's so many ppl feeling the same things, doing the same things, etc.

My past career in law enforcement, you DON'T open up bec. you don't want ppl looking down their noses at you or calling you nicknames. Yet, if I heard "Ohhh, it must be a BLONDE thing, eh Serena?? one more time, I was gonna' jack-slap somebody! Or, "Looks like somebody's PMSingggg..." Or, if I showed compassion: "It's a woman thing..." I could only IMAGINE tacking on ADHD onto that!

Cops are supposed to be strong. No emotions, much less no "emotional/mental" problems of any sort. I'm stronger than most women I know in different ways, but I put off finding out about my ADHD bec. I didn't want to admit having any kind of problems - which in the views of most cops would be a weakness.

Anyway, here I can be SERENA...period. So, open up & learn, Miztie...you'll be glad you did

[MRB]

A) Posting here gets easier. Everyone here is waaaaaaaay cool.

B) From someone who is getting ready to stress out her THIRD professional organizer (bring 'em on!), but also someone who is a pianist and writer and wasn't always -- and can organize her mother's house (it's ALWAYS easier with someone else's stuff!) and could NOT before -- I say: it's just like anything else you want to learn how to do - you have to practice. And the more you do it, the better you get.

Not trying to go all platitudey, it's just something that works for me. I don't give up - and sometimes I can actually see improvement!

[Miztieped]

thanks for the kind words and advice and it does feel better opening up about it so thanks

[Nucking_Futs]

Serena maybe it's because I have so many law enforcement officers in my family but last time I checked ya'll were just as human as the rest of us. I have heard of people putting un-realistic expectations on officers, firefighters, medics, doctors, etc. well unless they can fly and prove it to me their just as human as I am and have the right to emotions, feelings and faults.

[GOLDILOCKS]

I appreciate that - just wish fellow officers felt the same without "labelling".

But then, 4 of the 5 departments I worked at (not including the drug task force), I was the only female officer. THAT's a challenge, in itself!

[Nucking_Futs]

Ya know Serena you just have a way at looking at things negatively. You see a bunch of male officers bashing you...I see a bunch of macho jerks who know a woman is about to step up the bar a notch and you had em runnin scared. *giggles*

[Nucking_Futs]

Originally Posted by Miztieped

I wasn't sure what to name the post but i think it fits
one of my biggest problems is putting into words what i need.. I hard for me to say i need for example
I need help organizng my monthly schdule because I loose sight of the big picture but i do ok with a weekly
I need help at home with correspondence and cleaning but i havn't even figured out what i need yet or what will work
I have supportvie people arround me but i am not used to excepting help so it make me defensive and not easy to be around and so it cycles and nothing really gets done
i have been a member for a coule of weeks but this is the first time i have gotten up the nerve to post
i not sure what part is so hard for me ... finding the words to express what you need or accepting the help after you asked :-(
Has this ever happend to anyone ....does it get easier?

Yes, it gets a lot easier and you do not have to be self-conscious about your posts here. Please, alway's keep in mind we KNOW and UNDERSTAND been there, done that heck who are we kidding most of are still there.

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. I can give you some hints that have helped me a lot...take what you think will work, implement it, edit it and make it yours.

1.) Monthly planning...carry a yearly calendar jot down notes such as birthdays, anniversarys, holidays, etc. then make little notes for things that will come up in the months ahead. i.e. My son just got his shots and did not tolerate them well he has to go back in two months for more so I made a note in late August to set up the appt. in Sept. and to make sure I take the day off so he doesn't have to do without his momma. This way I know he has an appt. and I also know right off the bat what days I need off.

2.) I then write weekly events on a piece of paper, mail this bill or that card when it's done I cross it off and not one second before. This is my quick peek page.

3.) I have a lamenated cleaning schedule I never focus on more then one room a day. I pick up the others and deep clean one room a day with Sundays off. Each room has a list of thing's that need done when deep cleaning and I check them off.

The goal is to simplify your life not make it harder by having the perfect house or the perfect life...last time I checked they didn't exist. So, cut yourself some slack and work with it, find your nitch I promise once you do thing's will go a lot more smoothly. If you like you can pm me with problem area's and I can help you make charts that you can print off daily, weekly or monthly if you like.

Cherity