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  #1  
Old 10-25-10, 08:16 PM
LaVieEnRose LaVieEnRose is offline
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Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

It's changed over the years.. I'm trying to remember how I coped through school.. Certainly my self-esteem was hit.. I wish I could remember..

But after high school, I turned to food. Food was my medication. It gave me some dopamine for a while, it dulled out my senses enough that I could sit through a movie if I were eating candy or a big cup of soda. It pretty much revolved around food there for a while, to make myself feel better and motivate me to sit through things I had a hard time doing otherwise.

Then in 2007, it was exercise. Having gained 80 (yea) pounds, one day I just decided I was going to start working out, and that was my life for the next year. I went to the gym 2 hours every morning, 7 days a week, and then took every opportunity to do other physical work during the day. (Where did that energy come from, and more importantly where did it go?!) So I lost the 80 pounds.

My parents didn't throw money at me to get the latest and greatest clothes in high school, and that seemed okay at the time. But hmm.. maybe a year after graduating, and was earning money, I became hyper-focused on clothes. Not just any clothes. Freakishly expensive clothes. My intent was to show everyone that I was REALLY successful, different than what they had perceived me to be before, and that I must be smart if I'm able to afford these nice things. I was waay overdressed for some occasions which just makes me laugh/cry/blush/feel even more exposed. In hindsight, I must have come off.. silly, at best. Dropping hundreds of dollars (sometimes more) on one thing would give me the drug effect. This went on until probably early 2009.

At that point I started to find out I had a few health problems, which then took up a lot of my time. I'd still occasionally buy the expensive thing, to get a fix, but was thinking my illnesses were causing the issues neurological issues. I thought I must have had them growing up.. remembering the struggles I had to keep up even in Kindergarten.

Did you self-medicate in some way before you knew? Do you still now?

It's felt really freeing to be more in control of my impulses, and see life clearer. It really has been an awakening for me. I haven't felt the need to do any of these things in an unhealthy way. All of these can be healthy, but I used them as my drug.

Is this more a sign of depression? I feel it was more impulsive and trying to hide from the world, and myself, that I failed at the things I'd attempted. Okay, this is a long post. I'm done.
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  #2  
Old 10-25-10, 08:31 PM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

Caffeine. Lots and lots of caffeine.

Edit: I guess that's not true since I found out when I was 9 and my parents wouldn't let me drink caffeinated beverages at that age. I wasn't told though when I was that young.

If only someone had told me I was a SAMURAI WARRIOR. I mean Hunter. I mean I had ADHD.
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Old 10-25-10, 08:49 PM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

Caffeine candy ,motorcycles and adrenalin rushes and going fast.Good thing I never had a source to get cocaine because I probably would of hit that stuff up too.
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Old 10-25-10, 08:56 PM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?



200 mg JET-ALERT brand caffeine pills from late '99 (11th grade) until early 2009 when I found out I had ADHD and started seeing getting Dexedrine. Usually in the range of 300 to 700 mg\day but sometimes less and sometimes a little over a gram a day. Life sucks when two of these on a empty stomach barely allows you to get out of bed in the morning (they're fully kicked in in about 20 minutes).

And then in early 2009 just before I found out that I had ADHD (which was a total shock because it was about as surprising a surprise as possible and the furthest thing from my mind because I "knew" I was normal as far as disorders go thus never thought about the possibility of having any disorder because of course I "knew" that I was normal (my mom went to a psychiatrist and told him my life story and he said that it sounded like I had ADHD and then she relayed the message to me)), I ordered three Parkinson's drugs and two unscheduled stimulants (I do not encourage or support doing this - I'm just telling what I did) from overseas. I bought them because I wanted the desire for rewards that caffeine gives from something that didn't have caffeine's bull**** as far as withdrawal and blood sugar ups and downs. Then I found out that I had ADHD and got Dexedrine.
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Old 10-25-10, 09:19 PM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

Lots of caffeine. 5 hour energy, diet coke, etc. etc. No coffee though, that's never been my thing. Oh and what you say about food at the movies TOTALLY describes me. I NEED to be doing something during a movie or I'll pass out from boredom, so I eat. This sort of applies to me in real life, I eat a lot anyway. Luckily I have a fast metabolism to take care of that.

Is it bad to say that my experience self-medicating with adderall before being diagnosed is what made me convinced I was ADD? My friend told me about this great pill and I tried it, and boy did it clear things up for me. I was able to sit still for long periods of time and stay focused. And my memory was there! I know it's extremely illegal, and I don't condone the behavior AT ALL, but it did help me to where I am now.
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Old 10-25-10, 09:21 PM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

caffeine pills and my friends adderall in school. Lots and lots of caffeine... which I can't even drink now, nor can my heart tolerate a stimulant. I always wonder if it is from taking it as a teen.

Also music really helps me, it mellows me out, helps me concentrate and I get tons done when listening to music.
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Old 10-26-10, 04:07 AM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

Yes. Beer.
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Old 10-26-10, 05:38 AM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

First there was sport... not the ghastly team varieties.... outdoor sports... hillwalking, skiing etc.... i did those every weekend. Weekdays were grim.....

Then alcohol came along.... and that lasted for 30 years, then I (eventually) added sex to the mix.

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Old 10-26-10, 06:51 AM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

i self medicated with:

- speed & adrenaline - i loved it, cars & motorcycles as adult, bicycle & sledging as child. anything that offered me speed. i don't do it anymore, i became a very defensive driver due to a bad car crash that left me with serious anxiety if not PTSD (i don't want to check that one).

- caffeine - years and years of drinking coffee and other high caffeine drinks. i still drink a lot, and so strong that a friend asked me if i want to give him a heart attack when i offered him a coffee.

- nicotine - i am seriously considering quitting after 11 years of heavy smoking, but i was to coward to even give it a try so far.
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Old 10-26-10, 07:44 AM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

After 33 years of not knowing I have ADHD I guess I used a few things to self medicate:

Cigarettes.. 10-20 a day since I was 18

Coca-Cola.. Everyday, all day ever since I was allowed/old enough to drink it

Sex.. Given the opportunity.. lol

Amphetamines.. Briefly but would have been happy on a small amount everyday if i'd have had the opportunity/money
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Old 10-26-10, 11:06 AM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

nicotine, beer, and caffiene
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Old 10-26-10, 06:03 PM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Issy12385 View Post
caffeine pills and my friends adderall in school. Lots and lots of caffeine... which I can't even drink now, nor can my heart tolerate a stimulant. I always wonder if it is from taking it as a teen.

Also music really helps me, it mellows me out, helps me concentrate and I get tons done when listening to music.
Good to know I'm not alone on the adderall front. I'm the same with music - I jam out to techno for hours while I'm studying and get in my zone. If I'm not studying and simply getting work done, I'll put on any kind of music, but my memory doesn't seem to function as well with vocals if i'm studying (hence the techno).
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Old 10-26-10, 08:04 PM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

Ive been dxed since I was 4 now am almost 36 so I didnt really have time to abuse stuff.I suffer from depression so when Im high as a kite on a sugar or chocolate high an feel euphoric ,Its a feeling I hate to lose.
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Old 10-26-10, 09:48 PM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

same as The Robin Hood, since I wasn't diagnosed for almost three decades, looking back I would say I self medicated with coffee, wreckless driving, sex, cocaine, running, arguing, video games and when I was younger skating/sliding down stairs and all kinds of ridiculous games.
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Old 10-26-10, 09:54 PM
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Re: Did you self-medicate before finding out? With what?

you make it sound like its a bad thing,sure sounds like fun to me especially sliding down the railing part.
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