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  #1  
Old 11-10-10, 05:02 AM
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Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

I went to the dr last week because I have been completely unable to focus on anything. In fact, my husband had to tell me 3 times i had an appointment, in the same day. I was looking directly at him and couldn't retain a word. But he's been complaining for some time that i don't listen to a word he says. I tell him he talks too much, how can i possibly remember every single thing he says?

So the dr orders some blood tests, wants to check my thyroid again. It was borderline in 2007, but I didn't remember that either. Then he gave me a questionnaire for ADHD. I couldn't believe the questions that were on it. I couldn't help but notice how all my answers were in shady gray boxes. My thyroid test came back normal. He wants to see me next week for a long appointment.

So now, Im finding myself compelled to research this. I must admit I have logged a few hours on this topic. I also must admit that I am 30 years old and not one person in my life has tried to connect me with ADHD. The more I read the more Im convinced that this may be the answer to a series of things i have always summed up as 'my personality'. How when I get overwhelmed if there is too much going on. Sometimes I have to turn everything off to recompose myself. I have a terrible temper, I have always had problems with emotional control. Teachers always told me I was 'gifted' but scolded me for not living up to my potential. My verbal and reading comprehension was through the roof, but I stared out the window all the time. I aced tests and exams but rarely completed homework. My report cards were A's and B's, but received 'satisfactory' or 'needs improvement' for effort.

Ive been reading posts here and feel connected to so many ideas and feelings shared. But I also feel pretty confused. If this is who i am, do i need to reevaluate my life and experiences through a new lens? Does it change who I am? Trying to wrap my head around this, and Im finding it very hard to think about anything else....is it questionable or am i a textbook case????
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Old 11-13-10, 01:15 AM
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Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

I see Ive had no responses, I guess no one knows what to say to me. I was just looking for any feedback, even if its someone who cant relate to anything ive said. Im feeling really alone now, I feel like im crazy, I feel like im different.

I would like to add that Wednesday I had my first anxiety attack. I can't believe I ever minimized anyone who has told me they've had them. It was intense and scary and lasted for 3 hours before letting up. Then it came again later that day, and again the next morning. Yesterday I went to the hospital and was given some Ativan. Im still getting them under the meds. Do people with ADHD get anxiety attacks or is it not related? Nothing really triggered it, and i was okay in public, just completely immobilized and spaced out with waves of anxiety, numb, tingly and cold. All over.

I don't get any of this. I was fine until a few weeks ago!
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Old 11-13-10, 01:51 AM
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Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

Quote:
Originally Posted by crystal8080 View Post
I also must admit that I am 30 years old and not one person in my life has tried to connect me with ADHD. The more I read the more Im convinced that this may be the answer to a series of things i have always summed up as 'my personality'. How when I get overwhelmed if there is too much going on. Sometimes I have to turn everything off to recompose myself. I have a terrible temper, I have always had problems with emotional control. Teachers always told me I was 'gifted' but scolded me for not living up to my potential. My verbal and reading comprehension was through the roof, but I stared out the window all the time. I aced tests and exams but rarely completed homework. My report cards were A's and B's, but received 'satisfactory' or 'needs improvement' for effort.

Ive been reading posts here and feel connected to so many ideas and feelings shared. But I also feel pretty confused. If this is who i am, do i need to reevaluate my life and experiences through a new lens? Does it change who I am? Trying to wrap my head around this, and Im finding it very hard to think about anything else....is it questionable or am i a textbook case????
Your 'personality' sounds like mine and my school history was the same too, except I didn't stare out the window, I just didn't go a lot. I'm 48 and was diagnosed this year after my oldest son was diagnosed.

Life circumstances and coping mechanisms kept me functional until I became a parent - then things started going out of control.

Reactions to diagnosis probably depend on your personality and what your life has been like so far. Anger, resentment, grief, the what if's are common.

Not sure what stage I'm at right now but you'll go through them at your own pace. It's nice to finally be able to know why some things happened the way they did and how to deal with them in the future.

The biggest change for me since starting medication is being able to control my emotions. It's truly wonderful not to overreact and lose my temper.
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Old 11-13-10, 03:59 AM
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Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

Quote:
Originally Posted by crystal8080 View Post
I also must admit that I am 33 years old and not one person in my life has tried to connect me with ADHD. The more I read the more Im convinced that this may be the answer to a series of things i have always summed up as 'my personality'. Sometimes I have to turn everything off to recompose myself. I have a terrible temper that I keep bottled up. Teachers always told me I was 'gifted' but scolded me for not living up to my potential. My verbal and reading comprehension was through the roof, but I read what I was interested in instead of doing homework or classwork. I aced tests and exams but rarely completed homework. My report cards were A's and B's, and a few D's and F's when I couldn't charm/BS my way into better grades. I received 'satisfactory' or 'needs improvement' for effort on every report card I can remember.
Crystal, in about 45 seconds I reworded a few things from your post and made it fit my story. Pretty similar, eh?

If I were you, I'd give the diagnosis a shot. Go to the doc, take the meds. Give it three months. If you don't notice a difference, find something else to try.


Quote:
Originally Posted by crystal8080 View Post
Ive been reading posts here and feel connected to so many ideas and feelings shared. But I also feel pretty confused. If this is who i am, do i need to reevaluate my life and experiences through a new lens? Does it change who I am? Trying to wrap my head around this, and Im finding it very hard to think about anything else....is it questionable or am i a textbook case????
This might sound harsh, but hear me out:

You're asking a bunch of questions there that don't need an answer right now. Some of them don't have an answer. Some of them philosophers and scientists have been arguing about since the Renaissance.

I let those questions delay me from getting help for a good four years. I thought ADHD was pure BS. I didn't want to question my preconceptions about myself - I just knew I was a "nutty Professor" type - the guy who was smart and knew a bunch of odd trivia but couldn't mail his bills on time and got lost driving to his favorite restaurant. I didn't want the answer to "Is this who I am...a dude with weapons grade ADHD - Inattentive?" to be "Yes!"

If you can, ask if the current treatment is helping you life your life the way you want to. All that other stuff kind of falls in line after awhile.

As an aside -

If you think you've got a weird feeling now, reading posts by people who seem like they live many of the same things you do, just wait until you get that diagnosis. It is a bizarre, powerful, freeing, uplifting, depressing, and hopeful feeling all rolled into one.

Good luck, and keep looking for answers.
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Old 11-13-10, 11:54 AM
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Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

I'm not convinced. Especially because it seems like most of your issues are recent onset. What's typical is that you've been experiencing the things you've been lately, except your entire life.

This would have an impact on many things. Have you been able to hold down a job? Constantly jumping between relationships? Have you been unorganized your entire life? Do you feel irriatible pretty much anytime you're not doing something you enjoy?

Inattention being the only symptom is being more and more phased out of ADHD diagnosis.

Buy this book:

Taking charge of Adult ADHD
by: Doctor Russell Barkley.
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Old 11-13-10, 12:36 PM
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Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

Im not trying to convince anyone. Im here because im having a really really hard time waiting for my appt to know what is wrong with me. Something is. But I always have a hard time waiting. I don't do lineups.

Relationships? No, haven't done so well with those. For a long long time i was a bar star, living in the moment and men were included in that- they were moments. Since I dropped out of high school in grade 9 i have dropped out 6x since then. I have completed some university, it took me 4 years to complete 2 years worth of work, and i dropped out again before completing my degree. I still have to do that. but i did really really well in university....somehow i was extremely focused on the work.

the longest job ive had was 9 months, besides being a parent. done alot of minimum wage jobs.

i have always been irritable.i was teased alot in school because it was so easy to get a rise out of me, my mom would tell me to ignore them but i couldnt. i had zero emotional control.

now my husband keeps me organized. im not a slob by any means, but he is the organizational force in this house. he is always putting my wallet, keys, etc on the microwave so i know where to find them...when hes not here i spend alot of time looking because i don't remember where i put them.

now im ok if the dr tells me its something else i just want help. i cant focus its been going on 4 days taking these pills..im open to anything that'll help me
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Old 11-13-10, 12:39 PM
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Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

What pills?
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Old 11-13-10, 01:00 PM
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Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

the dr at the hospital prescribed some ativan..enough until my appt.
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Old 11-13-10, 02:42 PM
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Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

Crystal, you sound so much like me - I'm 30 too, and reading your story, it's like I could have written it.
I'm kind of at the same point as you - although I'm in the UK - someone suggested to me I could have ADD and I didn't look into it until a while later as I'd always thought ADD meant you were hyperactive. I knew someone at uni with it, but he was definitely hyper, while by this pont i'd kind of stopped talking to people because I always seemed to say the wrong thing. Anyway I started looking into it and couldn't believe how everything slotted into place - I've always thought this was 'just me', and have gotten to the point of pretty much hating myself for being like this. I've had a few doctor's appointments now and been referred to a psychologist for assessment. From what my doctor said it'll be about 6 months (!!!!!) before I can see the psychologist, then I think I might get referred to a psychiatrist who might be able to treat me? - then hopefully onto meds, which may or may not work, may or may not have side effects... the suspense is killing me! So I really sympathise
Dogsquat, I like how you describe the feeling you got after being diagnosed! I also appreciate you saying about reading all the time instead of doing work, as that's what I did through school (when I could get away with it) and the one negative thing my doctor said to me is that I shouldn't have been able to do that if I had ADHD. It's been preying on my mind so I keep looking for people who've been diagnosed who did the same thing!
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Old 11-13-10, 03:37 PM
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Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

Quote:
Originally Posted by crystal8080 View Post
Im not trying to convince anyone. Im here because im having a really really hard time waiting for my appt to know what is wrong with me. Something is. But I always have a hard time waiting. I don't do lineups.

Relationships? No, haven't done so well with those. For a long long time i was a bar star, living in the moment and men were included in that- they were moments. Since I dropped out of high school in grade 9 i have dropped out 6x since then. I have completed some university, it took me 4 years to complete 2 years worth of work, and i dropped out again before completing my degree. I still have to do that. but i did really really well in university....somehow i was extremely focused on the work.

the longest job ive had was 9 months, besides being a parent. done alot of minimum wage jobs.

i have always been irritable.i was teased alot in school because it was so easy to get a rise out of me, my mom would tell me to ignore them but i couldnt. i had zero emotional control.

now my husband keeps me organized. im not a slob by any means, but he is the organizational force in this house. he is always putting my wallet, keys, etc on the microwave so i know where to find them...when hes not here i spend alot of time looking because i don't remember where i put them.

now im ok if the dr tells me its something else i just want help. i cant focus its been going on 4 days taking these pills..im open to anything that'll help me

This stuff sounds more like ADHD to me than your recent issues. It should be noted though that when you talk to your doctor you should be focused more on your history than your recent issues. To get a proper diagnosis of ADHD, doctors will do a few things:

1. Try to determine previous history, as it's generally not acquired. If it is acquired through injury or any other means, it's probably not treatable by medications.

2. Any other conditions that could be causing your symptoms. That's why it's SOO important to focus on the past and not the present. I've had doctors tell me in the past that I was suffering from depression (even though I've been diagnosed with ADHD before) and the medications really messed me up. They also had me doubting the existence of ADHD. They set me back a few years.

3. They should also be checking to see if you have other conditions in conjunction with ADHD. Only 40% of people with ADHD only have ADHD.

Everyone has problems with inattention, and lack of focus sometimes. The big distinction is these symptoms need to have direct impairment in more than one facet of life: Ie: work, school, social, etc. in order to be diagnosed as ADHD.

You should also know that the irritability you feel, is the hyperactive component as an adult. IE: always doodling when writing, fidgeting, feeling rushed all the time. Not a stereotypical view of someone who is bouncing off the walls.

I'll reiterate, you should REALLY get that book. Especially if you're confused whether or not ADHD is the source of your problems. It will also help you figure out what characteristics and flaws you have which can be associated with this disorder, or what is just you. It also offers coping mechanisms which are also useful.

I also live in Canada, and it seems were behind in ADHD awareness then the states. I have seen more doctors that have passed me off as a drug addict than address my concerns (even though I've NEVER used any illicit drugs in my life). So basically if they're unwilling or unable to make a diagnosis, have them explain why they don't feel it is ADHD. If they don't have a good enough answer, look elsewhere.

Best of luck. Getting control on your ADHD will feel like you're finally in control of your life. If you're being completely honest in the paragraph I've quoted, I have absolutely NO DOUBT that you have ADHD, but like I said you really need to find out if that's the only thing that's wrong. ADHD is probably the most treatable disorder, and I can say from first hand experience: The medications help like no tomorrw.

Also, don't get your hopes too high about getting a diagnosis right away. I've lived in Halifax: Took 3 doctors before one would even talk to me about it. Ottawa, another 2, Calgary: 2. Just tough it out, and keep looking.
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Old 11-13-10, 05:07 PM
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Smile Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

Thank you. Absolutely this is the honest truth!

Ive had this dr since 1998, but moved away in 2008 and moved back here a few months ago. He agreed to take me (and my kids) back. This was the first visit Ive had since being accepted, and all i told him was about my inability to focus on anything, or remember directions or reminders. That i can't focus on losing weight. Brain fog.

He's the one who gave me the ADHD test to fill out along with a thyroid test. Im going to try my very best to wait patiently until my appt Tuesday. Im going to write everything down and bring it to my appt. My husband is coming with me - he knows me better than anyone. I will definately ask if its only ADHD (if that is the diagnosis).

Thank you to everyone who took the time to post. Not feeling like I just got sucker punched anymore, now just trying to take it minute by minute
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Old 11-13-10, 06:58 PM
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Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

That's great that your doctor is proactive enough to be checking other avenues as well. Checking thyroids, diabeties, and sleep apnea have all been known to cause ADHD like symptoms. Having your husband there as well will really help him make a proper diagnosis as well.

You're doing things right, and your doctor sounds like he's on the ball.
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Old 11-16-10, 01:13 AM
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Re: Appointment next week..expecting to be diagnosed

i have my test later on today (11/16) too. good luck.
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