ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Adults with ADD > Men with ADD/ADHD
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Men with ADD/ADHD This forum is for men to discuss issues related to being a man with AD/HD.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-27-10, 10:00 PM
Anubis578's Avatar
Anubis578 Anubis578 is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: United States
Posts: 92
Thanks: 235
Thanked 73 Times in 35 Posts
Anubis578 will become famous soon enough
ADHD and Sexual Issues

I am not currently being treated for ADHD. It is the conclusion that I have come to after extensive research and I plan on discussing it with my GP here in a few days. I do understand the dangers of self-diagnosis, but I am sure that ADHD[-PI] is the answer. I have also been diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea (mild-to-moderate), Social Anxiety (may have just been GAD, I'm not sure what the actual diagnosis was) and there is a major depressive episode listed in my medical history.

I have noticed fairly significant sexual issues lately (past few years). I find that I generally have no issues becoming aroused and achieving an erection, however, I tend to have a problem maintaining the erection without constant physical stimulation. I find that I very easily become distracted and lose the erection/arousal/ability to orgasm.

Here's a specific example. My [now ex-]girlfriend and I were being intimate, and a group of obnoxious, drunk college students walked by outside her window (campus apartment, anything said outside can be clearly heard inside). The voices distracted me so much that I was unable to focus on the task at hand. It's quite frustrating. I feel like I have to constantly force myself to concentrate/focus on maintaining arousal. The anxiety produced by this makes it impossible for me to perform.

Sex is great, but it makes me so uncomfortable that I would much rather just avoid it than to struggle with this. Nothing makes me feel worse than being unable to perform.

I also have this problem while masturbating. I cannot masturbate without pornography, as I cannot focus on a single concept/sexual fantasy long enough to maintain arousal and interest. While masturbating to pornography, it is not uncommon for me to lose all interest and stop/start doing something else entirely. I also seem to get side-tracked, even when I feel like I'm really into it. My train of thought just tends to get derailed to the point that I continue masturbating just to finish, because not finishing is quite uncomfortable.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Anubis578 For This Useful Post:
Komod0Dragon (11-27-10)
  #2  
Old 11-27-10, 11:04 PM
Komod0Dragon's Avatar
Komod0Dragon Komod0Dragon is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 209
Blog Entries: 3
Thanks: 288
Thanked 75 Times in 59 Posts
Komod0Dragon has disabled reputation
Re: ADHD and Sexual Issues

You sound like me. Even when I have or during sex, I hear the bed creek. I see the clothes that haven't been folded. I hear people talking outside. I hear the TV. I hear music. I hear people in the hallway.

Sure I enjoy what I'm doing, but I can't completely focus on one particular thing. Think about your eyes. You see a woman (or man, not trying to hate) in front of you and it turns you on. Even still when I'm in that situation, I see the entire room or the bed in front of me.

And when I'm doing my thing in front of the computer, I put in some earbuds. I can hear the idiots outside and it totally turns me off of the moment and what I'm trying to achieve.

Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Komod0Dragon For This Useful Post:
Anubis578 (11-28-10), itsanADHDthing (11-28-10)
  #3  
Old 11-27-10, 11:17 PM
emack17's Avatar
emack17 emack17 is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 50
Thanks: 2
Thanked 23 Times in 19 Posts
emack17 will become famous soon enough
Re: ADHD and Sexual Issues

Same for me. Ironically, my ADD medication now makes me completely hypersexual.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to emack17 For This Useful Post:
Anubis578 (11-29-10)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 11-27-10, 11:49 PM
Driver's Avatar
Driver Driver is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,954
Thanks: 158
Thanked 1,769 Times in 1,006 Posts
Driver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond reputeDriver has a reputation beyond repute
Re: ADHD and Sexual Issues

Focus on her needs, not yours, and understand that a stiff pecker is not necessary to deliver what she wants. When you learn this, you'll stop stressing.
__________________
I'm on a horse.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Driver For This Useful Post:
Anubis578 (11-29-10), ferez21 (02-07-14), itsanADHDthing (11-28-10)
  #5  
Old 11-28-10, 06:27 PM
Anubis578's Avatar
Anubis578 Anubis578 is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: United States
Posts: 92
Thanks: 235
Thanked 73 Times in 35 Posts
Anubis578 will become famous soon enough
Re: ADHD and Sexual Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Driver View Post
Focus on her needs, not yours, and understand that a stiff pecker is not necessary to deliver what she wants. When you learn this, you'll stop stressing.
Oh no, I was very good at taking care of her, and she made sure I knew that. The thing that bothered her was the fact that it bothered me so much.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 11-28-10, 07:02 PM
Anubis578's Avatar
Anubis578 Anubis578 is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: United States
Posts: 92
Thanks: 235
Thanked 73 Times in 35 Posts
Anubis578 will become famous soon enough
Re: ADHD and Sexual Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Komod0Dragon View Post
I hear the bed creek. I see the clothes that haven't been folded. I hear people talking outside. I hear the TV. I hear music. I hear people in the hallway.
Oh my god, it is so damn annoying. I wish I could just turn it off

I don't understand the people who say their ADHD is a gift. It's tearing me apart...
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-29-10, 05:05 PM
stnwright's Avatar
stnwright stnwright is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 37
Thanks: 2
Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts
stnwright is on a distinguished road
Re: ADHD and Sexual Issues

Its tough. I have been with my gf for over 4 years. As I was younger adult, I had an awesome sex drive -- Normally having sex 2 to 3 times each meeting.

I know in the beginning, sex could be very very frequent and might slow down as you progress through the relationship. My relationship with her is very unique. We only see each other once or twice a week (an hour trip between us is the biggest reason), and when we do see each other, the sex is on!

I love her madly, but I've noticed over the past year my sex drive going down. When I was on Strattera XR for a couple months, it hit my libido very hard. Now that I'm on Adderall, things have improved, but my sex drive and focus is still down.

One thing I guess might be good is if your partner is understanding. I want to sit and talk to her and just say "hey, this is whats going on. i love you a lot but dont be surprised if I cant perform like before." I know she would understand, but I am scared it would affect us.

I dont know if using "herbal viagra's" are a step in the right direction, or even talking to my doc about getting something like cialis or viagra.


note: I used to work in an adult bookstore where they sold herbal viagras. some of them (especially the ones who say they last for over 24hrs) usually contain some sort of prescription based ED medicine. I found this out by doing some research on the FDA site on some products. I'm not suggesting you try "herbal viagra" products, but keep that in mind
__________________
vir venator vir amo a lupus
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-03-10, 03:04 PM
DarkShadow's Avatar
DarkShadow DarkShadow is offline
Contributor
 

Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Where do YOU live?
Posts: 349
Thanks: 114
Thanked 389 Times in 157 Posts
DarkShadow is just really niceDarkShadow is just really niceDarkShadow is just really niceDarkShadow is just really nice
Re: ADHD and Sexual Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anubis578 View Post
I am not currently being treated for ADHD. It is the conclusion that I have come to after extensive research and I plan on discussing it with my GP here in a few days. I do understand the dangers of self-diagnosis, but I am sure that ADHD[-PI] is the answer. I have also been diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea (mild-to-moderate), Social Anxiety (may have just been GAD, I'm not sure what the actual diagnosis was) and there is a major depressive episode listed in my medical history.

I have noticed fairly significant sexual issues lately (past few years). I find that I generally have no issues becoming aroused and achieving an erection, however, I tend to have a problem maintaining the erection without constant physical stimulation. I find that I very easily become distracted and lose the erection/arousal/ability to orgasm.

Here's a specific example. My [now ex-]girlfriend and I were being intimate, and a group of obnoxious, drunk college students walked by outside her window (campus apartment, anything said outside can be clearly heard inside). The voices distracted me so much that I was unable to focus on the task at hand. It's quite frustrating. I feel like I have to constantly force myself to concentrate/focus on maintaining arousal. The anxiety produced by this makes it impossible for me to perform.

Sex is great, but it makes me so uncomfortable that I would much rather just avoid it than to struggle with this. Nothing makes me feel worse than being unable to perform.

I also have this problem while masturbating. I cannot masturbate without pornography, as I cannot focus on a single concept/sexual fantasy long enough to maintain arousal and interest. While masturbating to pornography, it is not uncommon for me to lose all interest and stop/start doing something else entirely. I also seem to get side-tracked, even when I feel like I'm really into it. My train of thought just tends to get derailed to the point that I continue masturbating just to finish, because not finishing is quite uncomfortable.
I know how you feel. I can get distracted pretty easily during sex also. I not only get distracted by the bed squeaking, or by what's happening around us, but I often get distracted by the act itself. At times I get so locked into thinking about the feelings and sensations that I can't break focus off of that area and unto her. It usually leads to me ejaculating a lot faster than I want to.

Medication has helped some. I am more patient during foreplay, and can last longer because i'm able to control my thoughts and focus my attention on her and not everything else.
__________________
ADHD - The energy to do anything, the focus to accomplish nothing.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to DarkShadow For This Useful Post:
Anubis578 (12-05-10)
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Adult and Child ADHD Assessment Centres in UK launter United Kingdom 27 12-20-10 08:05 AM
DIAGNOSING BIPOLAR VS. ADHD Lafnalot Bipolar 24 11-30-10 08:46 PM
Reference For Local Doctors Draga Michigan 4 03-25-10 01:38 PM
Reference For Local Doctors Draga California 2 07-17-05 03:54 PM
Reference For Local Doctors Draga Georgia 0 08-07-04 06:48 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:51 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2014 ADD Forums