Woman with ADD ponders, "Ran a good race; but now that I'm over 40 ..."

[lost7foldfan]

I don't know about the rest of you , but if you're anything like me ,which is ' Over 40( closer to 50!)' ; ' ALONE ' ; ' Still struggle daily to get some understanding /support from other family members !'; ' sick of failing to get my family to notice how resourceful & talented ,generous, compassionate , intellegent and so on , and so forth , I am !!'; 'that I'm even still around is amazing !'; ' annoyed that others don't see my good qualities !'; and above all else I feel like my life has passed me by , I'M TIRED !
I didn't get diagnosed until '96 , and there's no one to blame ! But it sure has been unfair that for the most part of my life , I've either been asleep or fighting with others for the right to be here . But basiclly , if your like me , after all this bull**** ... I'm too pooped to pop ! I have very little 'fight ' left in me these days , how 'bout you ? Trouble is ... WE CAN'T JUST GIVE IT ALL UP FOR NOTHING ! bECAUSE WE"RE TOO TIRED ! WE DID ALL THAT FOR ALL OF THIS

[paulbf]

Yup, can't give up... you got that right!

[Ian]

I do what I can. If that means dishes then I get on it. It's by doing that people recognise me for what I am. Giving up got way too close last fall so I started up with a coach and began to take meds to try and help that "doing" along. I'm 45 and I do not want to lay down just yet. Some days are harder than others as we all well know. Life is in the doing. The support here is tremendous and helps me keep moving ahead.
ian

[fasttalkingmom]

you have just summed up how I've been feeling today.......

with PMS, no meds. (ran out and money is tight this week can't get any) and my husband's bipolar being manic the past couple of weeks I'm very down on my life and myself in the way you posted about.......

[gabriela]

Originally Posted by itschaotic

I do what I can. I do not want to lay down just yet. Some days are harder than others as we all well know. Life is in the doing. The support here is tremendous and helps me keep moving ahead.

*agrees totally*

grief
anger
"lemme sleep"
"i give up!"
"why, i'll show those *BEEEEP* people who said i could do *"anything"* if i'd "only apply" myself!!!"

addforums.com's a *very* good place for venting!!!

[Alexa]

I know exactly what you mean. I'm on the verge of telling my fiance I can't be what he expects me to be, pack my stuff and leave. I was just recently Dx ADD at the tender age of 46. I'm on meds but I can't blame everything on the ADD. He provokes (although he would deny that) I react and it's a never ending cycle. I don't really want to be alone but right now I feel trapped and miserable. Maybe my best bet is to leave (financially it would be a nightmare) work on getting my s**t together now that I know whats really going on me, and spare us both. But then I try to tell myself that I'm 46 yrs old and I need to quit running off the playground. I really at this point want to be left alone and have a good cry out of shear frustration and defeat.

[Keppig]

Oh my gosh I felt like this yesterday when I got my review at work. My boss thinks that the main thing holding me back from being a professional Senior CAD designer is how easily I get distracted and my impulsiveness (I interrupt people, accidently).
Yip.

[Onwari]

I am 39 and was diagnosed with severe ADHD at 29.

Well, maybe that will explain my wild and sometimes sad childhood (I have great parents, it wasn't them. But sometimes I still give that little girl with the big brown sad eyes a bear hug).

My many wonderful discoveries as a kid that most kids my age didn't even see.

Ugly marriage at 17, and ugly divorce at 18.

Beautiful marriage at 21, and sad split at 36 (he is still one of my best friends).

My laziness at work (but I really try).

Practical jokes (I get bored at work).

My wonderful discoveries as an adult that most folks my age forget, don't experience or see. I have ADHD and they don't! Ha!

And the 2 year associates degree I have been working on for 17 years! Arghhhhh!

Now I am sure that all of you have experienced some of this. Thank goodness that there are others out there and I don't feel like an alien anymore.

I do have three great kids to show for all that hard work! Thank goodness for this forum. Some of the things I read on hear are sooooo familiar.