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Old 01-26-11, 09:12 PM
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How to destroy a narcissist?

Does anyone have the best ways to destroy a narcissist? Reason I ask is because I have one on my team and he doesn't bother me but I would like to completely castrate him of his ridiculous arrogance because he puts allot of others down. He comes off as being confident, muscular, fit but he has limited friends and everyone who is not his friend thinks hes an *** and everyone who is his friend are just spineless. I'm not only curious but I seriously can't stand arrogant people let alone NPD's, no one else has the balls to say anything and his friends use the "he has the right to be arrogant because hes blablablabla". I figure find some insecurities but any suggestions?
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Old 01-26-11, 09:47 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

i doubt you will be able to affect him

if he really is a narcissist that is
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Old 01-26-11, 09:49 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

Why would you want to destroy somebody?

Maybe go talk to someone about how the narcissist stirs up insecurity and anger in you. Work out your stuff so that later on in life when you deal with broken people like this guy it rolls off your back.

Maybe he just needs a friend? Take some time to develop a relationship with him and then ask him why he is the way is. Your quality of life will improve 1000 fold and you'll have loyal, faithful friends for life.
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Old 01-26-11, 09:59 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

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Originally Posted by Menna View Post
Why would you want to destroy somebody?

Maybe go talk to someone about how the narcissist stirs up insecurity and anger in you. Work out your stuff so that later on in life when you deal with broken people like this guy it rolls off your back.

Maybe he just needs a friend? Take some time to develop a relationship with him and then ask him why he is the way is. Your quality of life will improve 1000 fold and you'll have loyal, faithful friends for life.
I was expecting someone to say I was the issue. Well I myself was bullied when I was little so I guess you've got my soft under belly I don't personally care, I would like to just remove another bully if you will because It left a bad taste in my mouth, Idk if this guy is "broken" but he has certainly "broken" other people. I've tried to be friends but he usually ends up just being condescending because hes in better shape, if you mention anything hes done that was less than perfect he comes back with heavy personal attacks, he even pushes our coach around. Is there something I'm missing here? Do you think NPD's, psycho/sociopaths should be aloud to manipulate and hurt? Just curious. Maybe "destroy" is a bit harsh think of it as "teaching".
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Old 01-26-11, 10:07 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

You can't "win" with a Narcissist as they'll never concede defeat, and will play the victim card to recruit more people to their cause.

All you can do is to give them no power: don't let them get to you, and always take the high road.
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Old 01-26-11, 10:27 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

Those who've said you can't "win" with a narcissist are right. You really can't. They internalize nothing. It's all everyone else's fault, always. And if you do get the upper hand, they're often obsessed with finding any way possible to **** you over and regain their position of supposed superiority. You're choosing to fight a battle that isn't worth your time or energy.

I know how you feel. I have the exact same reaction to narcissists. It makes me see red and want to rip their ******* through their esophagus. But it's useless. Driver's right. Ignore, avoid, escape. If you can curb their influence in your life in any way, do it. If you can ignore them, do it. They feed on confrontation -- it's quite literally a genetic predisposition. Don't give in. This is one time in your life where avoidance is the answer.
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Old 01-26-11, 10:29 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

I don't think you understand what narcissism is.

Secondly, your desire to destroy someone seems almost psychopathic.

What's your motivation here? Are you jealous? Does his success and arrogance stir up narcissistic wounds in you? After all, in order to stir up this much rage on your part, that you'd want to destroy him, he must be hurting you deeply or causing some kind of anxiety. Either that or you lack a conscience.

Tell us more about him, you, and your relationship with him.


Edit: I hadn't paid attention to your name. You have Asperger's disorder?
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Old 01-26-11, 10:46 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

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Originally Posted by Bezuidenthustra View Post
Those who've said you can't "win" with a narcissist are right. You really can't. They internalize nothing. It's all everyone else's fault, always. And if you do get the upper hand, they're often obsessed with finding any way possible to **** you over and regain their position of supposed superiority. You're choosing to fight a battle that isn't worth your time or energy.

I know how you feel. I have the exact same reaction to narcissists. It makes me see red and want to rip their ******* through their esophagus. But it's useless. Driver's right. Ignore, avoid, escape. If you can curb their influence in your life in any way, do it. If you can ignore them, do it. They feed on confrontation -- it's quite literally a genetic predisposition. Don't give in. This is one time in your life where avoidance is the answer.
Hmm I figured that would be the case.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KMiller View Post
I don't think you understand what narcissism is.

Secondly, your desire to destroy someone seems almost psychopathic.

What's your motivation here? Are you jealous? Does his success and arrogance stir up narcissistic wounds in you? After all, in order to stir up this much rage on your part, that you'd want to destroy him, he must be hurting you deeply or causing some kind of anxiety. Either that or you lack a conscience.

Tell us more about him, you, and your relationship with him.


Edit: I hadn't paid attention to your name. You have Asperger's disorder?
Uh haha no I just dislike how he parades around and people let him walk all over them. I'm not exactly angry or "raging" I just was considering this today. I avoid him and if he says something I usually just blow him off. You've literally got the polar opposite of me, I have an over active conscience at times, besides I don't compare myself to him; its almost apples to oranges. He's arrogant and dull and I'm slightly over confident,and intelligent. Sometimes people just need to be put in place ya know? And yes I have ASD, I have an intense interest for sociology at the basic level and human interaction in general which plays out nicely and most don't know I even have it. Allot of my interactions and intentions are for learning
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Old 01-26-11, 11:02 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

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Originally Posted by Aspie101 View Post
Uh haha no I just dislike how he parades around and people let him walk all over them. I'm not exactly angry or "raging" I just was considering this today. I avoid him and if he says something I usually just blow him off. You've literally got the polar opposite of me, I have an over active conscience at times, besides I don't compare myself to him; its almost apples to oranges. He's arrogant and dull and I'm slightly over confident,and intelligent. Sometimes people just need to be put in place ya know? And yes I have ASD, I have an intense interest for sociology at the basic level and human interaction in general which plays out nicely and most don't know I even have it. Allot of my interactions and intentions are for learning
So why the graphic word? You said you want to destroy someone, an Id-based motivation. Something is disturbing you deeply, to have such a graphic motivation. Your choice of words betrays a degree of hatred much deeper than wanting to "put someone in his place." You claim to be intelligent, and I've never met someone with Asperger's disorder who chose words poorly.

Amusingly, perhaps his success is stirring up narcissistic injuries on your part? I honestly am at a loss as to what this person could have done to you that would aggravate such intense feelings in you.
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Old 01-26-11, 11:08 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

Edit: Nevermind.
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Old 01-26-11, 11:11 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

I don't like all these websites and people who go around and discuss narcissists and psychopaths and borderlines and so on as if they aren't actual people. I think a lot of people lose sight of the humanness of their objects of ire.

Replace the title of this thread:

How to destroy a human being

Doesn't that seem slightly ****ed up to you?
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Old 01-26-11, 11:15 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by KMiller View Post
I don't like all these websites and people who go around and discuss narcissists and psychopaths and borderlines and so on as if they aren't actual people. I think a lot of people lose sight of the humanness of their objects of ire.

Replace the title of this thread:

How to destroy a human being

Doesn't that seem slightly ****ed up to you?
Maybe. It's still ****ing infuriating dealing with true narcissists. The best relationship you can have with someone diagnosed with NPD, IMHO, is a superficial one where you keep them at arm's length and remain on their good side.
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Old 01-26-11, 11:19 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

Thanks. I think the problem with a narcissist is that most successful people are. It makes it hard.
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Old 01-26-11, 11:22 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

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Thanks. I think the problem with a narcissist is that most successful people are. It makes it hard.
that would make a very small percentage of the population successful
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Old 01-26-11, 11:22 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

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Thanks. I think the problem with a narcissist is that most successful people are. It makes it hard.
I wouldn't go that far. It's likely that the percentage of narcissists is higher among successful people than within the (comparative) general population, but that doesn't mean most (or even many) successful people are narcissists.
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