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  #46  
Old 03-20-11, 09:30 PM
styversal styversal is offline
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

Sounds like you're resentful. Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Try forgiveness and understanding. How? Think of any time in your life you didn't do the best you could with what you knew at the time (emphasis on what you knew at the time). It's likely you would have done it differently if you knew a better way, don't ya think? If that's the case, than why would you hold anyone else, particularly someone with a personality disorder, to a different standard than yourself? If understanding that is unattainable at this point in your life, it's just best to avoid him altogether. Revenge doesn't work.
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  #47  
Old 03-22-11, 05:38 PM
Beaver Beaver is offline
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Icecream View Post
Thanks. I think the problem with a narcissist is that most successful people are. It makes it hard.
It is definitely NOT true. Look at boxers, sure a lot of them are narcissists, but some are very humble, Joe Calgazhe, Manny Pacquiao, Joe Louis, I heard Ricky Hatton(?) etc weren't narcissists or ***holes,etc. MMA also, George St-Pierre,Anderson Silva, most of the big names seem OK guys. I think some come across as such but it is only a facade (Mayweather? Ali most definetely).

Likewise for businessmen...Henry Ford didn't mind doing cartwheels with kids until his old age.There was one big oil magnate -forgot his name- who had something like 32 billions in raw revenue or some ridiculous number like that and less then 20 000 $ expenditures annually.

I think it is the same for politicians or businessmen: most are humble but it's only the histrionic ones that get airtime.
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  #48  
Old 04-15-11, 02:24 PM
emilym emilym is offline
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

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Originally Posted by daveddd View Post
i doubt you will be able to affect him

if he really is a narcissist that is
Yup...my experience with NPD is that there is nothing we can do about it except keep our side of the street as clean as possible. It is useless to match their very poor manners...the best thing to do is to stay away as much as possible. When we try to match their intensity to "get even" the only person who will be harmed is us.
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Old 05-03-11, 04:11 AM
zann zann is offline
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

This comment is for Aspie101.

HOW TO DESTROY A NARCISSIST

(AS KNOW ONE KNOWS FOR SURE, EXACTLY HOW SICK YOUR NARCISSIST REALLY IS, INCLUDING THEM; YOU MUST BE CAREFUL AND CAUTIOUS. FOR, IF THEY ARE NOT A NARCISSIST AND ARE A SOCIO/PSYCHOPATH INSTEAD. YOU, OR SOME OF YOU COULD BE PUTTING YOURSELF/SELVES IN DANGER OF RETALIATION. SERIAL KILLERS ARE PSYCHOPATHS AND SOME PSYCHOPATHS HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO SEEK REVENGE AND NOT STOP UNTIL THEY HAVE ACHIEVED IT.)

PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!

(This solution may seem long-winded but be sure to read and absorb all of it, I may help I assure you.)

Hello, my name is Ryan. I am an adult male, aged 51 years. I consider myself to be a good person and I always try to do my best to help others, I strive to be just that, simply because I care about humanity. As I have been and still am a victim of a Narcissist myself.I am working on controlling my problem, my Narcissist is in my family, we are related, so the fight is an ongoing one, one which will, probably, be there until death. Either his or mine.

If you truly know how to love, you can't just disown a member of your family, you would only be hurting yourself and others further. Therefore my Narcissist will, for the time-being anyway, continue to be a part of my life.

My soul objective here is that I wish to try and help you, and any others that read this. It is my soul desire to help, to try and make a difference.

I have an extreme Narcissist within my own family. I have been attempting to understand this personality type all of my life. I have been, trying to get the whole picture of this individual, since the day I began to realize, that this person was an extremely sick/twisted human being and I use the term human being very lightly. I mean, who can do the types of things these people do to other people, even to people whom they are supposed to love, even to their own flesh and blood? (I have done this research in order to protect myself, and others, from the extremely damaging and far reaching abuse that this person causes, and I use the term lightly when I say person. These people, once you realize what there doing to you, are nothing short of pure evil in a human form. It took many years to narrow it down.

They are so good at messing with people's minds that even members of the same family, refuse to see the truth.

I have read much information on bullies, narcissists, socio/psychopaths see bullyonline.org, (it lists over 400 pages of info. on the demon-like personality of these people) you will be stunned when you see all of their behaviour patterns listed in a row, I have read the entire website, roughly twice, and continue to use it as a valuable reference to this day. The information on the site points out, in extreme detail, how to recognize a Serial Bully/Narcissist/Sociopath/Psychopath. This is the best information I have ever come across.

I have also read numerous books on this type, some examples are Toxic Parents, Emotional Blackmail, and the Sociopath Next Door, just to name a few, of the better ones. I have always looked for ways to shield myself from this individual/minimize the pain/mind games they play with you, to of course, try to keep my own sanity.

I too have sought ways to put fear into them, souly for the purpose of stopping the sickeningly abusive behaviour they dish out to people.

Just the other day, after having a severe confrontation with my Narcissist, I hit the net again trying to find info. on how to make one fear you. Putting fear into their victims is their specialty, it also appears to me, after many years of severe pain, the only way to make them understand is to use their same tactics against them. Make them fear you. I'll explain how to do this in a moment.

I would like to mention, at this point, I originally thought my Narcissist was a Sociopath. But I was wrong and it was suggested to me by a psychotherapist that he appeared to be a Narcissist. (A person with Narcissist Personality Disorder) BAM! The therapist had hit the nail on the head. This is exactly what he is.

The difference between a Socio/Pyschopath and a Narcissist is... a Socio/Pyschopath does everything a Narcissist does, and much, much, worse. They personally, do not care what other people think of them while their doing it. They will do it openly in front of others. On the other hand a Narcissist hides his true personality from the world, by creating a false image of himself/herself to others. Presenting themselves as a nice/wonderful person, (the wolf in sheep’s clothing) while, all the while, attacking their chosen victims in obscurity, or while they are alone. (There is always more than one victim, just one victim won’t do. They need to hurt and mess with several people, simultaneously, in order to make them feel in control of many. Thus making their ego/arrogance ever larger. They believe themselves to be invincible.)


(This can be a very dangerous game. I would just like to warn you of this. BE CAREFUL. TAKE HEED.) When taking on a narcissist, in this way, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, let someone else know what you intend to do to try and stop this individual from hurting/damaging you, at the present time, and also, in the future. (HAVE WITNESSES, OR AT THE VERY LEAST, PEOPLE THAT ARE AWARE OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING. YOU MAY NEED THEM LATER, TO CORROBORATE YOUR STORY.) Better yet, let several people know, and make sure you 100% trust them, and have their total support, be sure that they are not secretly on the side of the narcissist.
Some narcissists have spies, or what I like to refer to as brainwashed trained rats, rats that rat out to them, and keep them ever informed, as to who is trying to hurt/bring them down. It will help you greatly, if these people, are also, regular victims of this person's abuse/attacks/evil nature. This is for your own protection. Things could blow up in your face if your Narcissist is very clever. There could be severe consequences if you don't handle it properly and with extreme caution.
GET READY, HERE IT IS. HOW TO DESTROY/EXPOSE A NARCISSIST.

A NARCISSIST'S GREATEST FEAR IS... THE FEAR OF THEM BEING PUBLICLY EXPOSED, TO OTHER'S FOR WHAT THEY TRULY ARE. (ESPECIALLY TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE THEY HAVE FOOLED/DUPED INTO BELIEVING THAT THEY ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE/GOD’S GIFT TO THE WORLD! PEOPLE.)

Now, here is what you do. Take your backup (all of the other people which have been constantly F@#CKED OVER!! by this individual, and proceed to go to your Boss/Friends/Family, whoever the case may be. Make sure that the Narcissist is present also. Give everyone that’s been hurt/injured their own separate turn to speak, nay, be sure that everyone in the group, that has been **** on by this individual in the past, the chance to speak, to tell their story of how and how badly, they have been hurt/severely injured, by this individual. GET EVERY DETAIL OUT IN THE OPEN (have all the victims/confronting individuals in your group, write down their stories of abuse by this person IN AS MUCH DETAIL AS POSSIBLE.) Then present them as a united group which will not be dissuaded, no matter what, to someone that can make a difference. (Example: BOSS). BE SURE THIS PERSON THAT YOU PRESENT YOUR STORIES/SITUATION TO, WILL BE SUPPORTIVE WHEN EVERYONE SPEAKS UP.

THERE IS GREAT POWER IN NUMBERS!!

THE STORIES MUST BE TRUE, DO NOT LIE, DO NOT OVER EXAGERATE, AND BE PREPARED TO PROVE THE TRUTH WITH EXAMPLES AND WITNESSES, WHENEVER POSSIBLE, IF YOU CAN. The Narcissist will do their best to try to lie/deny their way out of the situation. DENIAL and DECEIPT/LIES are their favourite weapons of choice. When confronting the narcissist, try your best to make them look you in the eyes, when they try to lie and deceive, have them look into the eyes of the person/persons you are exposing them to. They will become very uncomfortable, they should start to try to squirm their way out of the situation. They will try to change/shift the subject elsewhere, to take the attention off of themselves and put it, the attention/blame on someone else. They will make every effort to try to lie, manipulate and deceive their way out of the situation. They will do their absolute damdest to not have to except any responsibility for their past actions/trespasses against those which they have injured. Keep them rigidly focused on the immediate situation/story/topic being discussed. Don’t give them an inch, to find a way to weasel out of it.

Remember this above all things. These people have been doing this to other people as well, all of their lives, and they have become very, very adept at it. At lying their way out of situations, such ast the ones you will be describing. They have fooled/deceived a great many people in the past, and have left a long line of badly battered souls in their wake.
If many people, a group of the Narcissist’s victims, band together and STAND STRONG, and are all explaining the same, like or very similar personal damaging incidents/attacks, regarding/coming from this individual, to a higher authority (Example: BOSS), FACE-TO-FACE confrontation, in the immediate prescence of the Narcissist, then, and only then, the Narcissist will have nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, they will be trapped, THEY WILL BE REVEALED! (Once started be sure the door is closed and that someone from the group is blocking the Narcissist’s exits, he/she may try to leave. Which in turn will only prove their guilt beyond a shadow of a doubt. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT BEGIN SPEAKING THREATS OR MAKE ANY PHYSICAL ATTACKS ON THE INDIVIDUAL, WHATSOEVER. THIS PERSON MAY TRY TO PROVOKE YOU INTO HITTING THEM, WHICH WOULD SURELY RESULT IN CHARGES BEING BROUGHT AGAINST THE DEFENDING PARTY. THEY CAN SUE IF THIS HAPPENS, AND THEY MAY TRY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN IF THEY SEE THAT THEY MAY LOSE THERE JOB AND A REFERENCES THEY MAY RECEIVE. KEEP YOUR COOL AT ALL TIMES. BE SURE TO STRESS VERY STRONGLY THAT EVERYONE THAT IS DEFENDING THEMSELVES KEEP THEIR COOL. SHOW YOUR ANGER WITH YOUR VOICES. BE PROFESSIONAL AT ALL TIMES. YOU WANT THEM TO LOOK LIKE THE *** OR THE DANGEROUS ONE. REMEMBER THAT. WHAT YOU WANT IS FOR THEM TO LOSE THEIR COOL. THIS WOULD BE THE IDEAL SITUATION.
Then everyone present would see instantaneously/simultaneously, what the this person/Narcissist truly is. No one would completely dismiss the accusations, without an investigation if many people came forward with their own personal hurtful stories regarding the sick individual. Companies are aware, that if they do nothing to remedy the hurtful situations that this ******* intentionally caused, that they could be GROUP SUED by everyone present. IF THEY TRY TO PROTECT THE NARCISSIST BECAUSE HE/SHE IS A BOSS OR SUPERVISOR THAN YOU MAY USE THE THREAT OF A GROUP LAWSUIT AS A LAST RESORT. AS LONG AS YOU CAN PROVE SOME OF THE INJURING INCIDENTS, YOU WOULD HAVE A VERY STRONG CASE. AT THE VERY LEAST THEY WOULD HAVE TO COMPENSATE PEOPLE FOR PERSONAL INJURIES. (I know that going to these extremes may seem a cruel and hurtful thing to do, especially if you are good person, but remember the Narcissist doesn't give a **** about you or anyone else that they have hurt/damaged they will not be sorry even if they say they are after the exposure. They will try to hurt you forever if you give them the chance. If it’s a choice between him or you, make sure to do your best that it’s him that pays. His performance/act and that’s exactly what it will all be, an act to try to gain sympathy and once again pull the wool over everyone's eyes. Don’t buy it for a second. These people feel no remorse for their victims, they know nothing of love/caring for other people. The Narcissist loves only one person in this world. That person is THEMSELVES. Hence the reason for all of the ARROGANCE they truly believe themselves to be superior to everyone else. They believe they can and have fooled everyone, and that everyone else in the world is just there for them to use to benefit themselves. They work on messing with people's minds on an individual basis. They will look for those who aren't likely to fight back, and make these good people their constant victims. This type of behavior feeds there egos and the more people they can fool, control, instill fear into, deceive, con, lie to and get away with, only helps to feed their EGO/ARROGANCE. It's a TOTAL POWER TRIP thing for them. They enjoy, some I would say love, and take great pleasure in dominating and instilling fear in others.


IF EXPOSED BY A GROUP, TO THOSE WHO CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE, AND CAN BE MADE TO BE SEEN/REVEALED TO OTHERS FOR WHAT THEY TRULY ARE. Then the Narcissist should, in almost all instances, CRUMBLE, the odds will be against them. JUST DON'T BACK DOWN. STAND FIRM AS A GROUP. THIS SHOULD BRING OUT AND EXPOSE THE TRUE PERSONALITY.

DO NOT BE AFRAID. NARCISSIST'S THRIVE ON THE FEAR THAT THEY INSTILL IN OTHERS. THIS CAN ONLY HAPPEN IF YOU LET THEM SCARE YOU.

If you decide to try this advice, again, make sure your backup stands firm and will all support each other. (5 - 10 people in a group exposing this individual can not all be seen as liers.)

If this is done in your work environment, be sure to feel that the Boss/Company will back you before trying this, if the company is run by ******** you will not get the support you need. ******** TEND TO STICK TOGETHER.

ONE LAST COMMENT HERE.

IF YOU GO THROUGH WITH THIS, YOU MUST BE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THE PERSON/PERSONS YOU ARE EXPOSING THIS INDIVIDUAL TO "ARE NOT NARCISSISTS THEMSELVES."

For, if they are also narcissistic in personality, the whole thing could backfire on all of you. Some companies like to have a certain amount of ********, people without consciences, working for them to do whatever dirty work needs to be done. KEEP THIS IN MIND BEFORE PROCEEDING, IF YOU DO.

SHOULD YOU CHOSE TO TAKE THIS ADVICE, I ACCEPT NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT YOU DO. I as a fellow sufferer, of an *******, like what I have described here, am just trying to help you, and spare you and others any further pain from this VERY VERY SICK PERSON. WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO IS YOUR CHOICE.

And always be prepared, to possibly, have to look for employment elsewhere just in case they decide to support the PRICK instead of the rest of you.

GOOD LUCK!! I WISH YOU, ONLY, TOTAL SUCCESS IN THE EXPOSURE. If it works out in your favour, all of you will feel a great deal better, believe me. (YOU WILL HAVE TAKEN BACK YOUR POWER AND YOUR SANITY!! YOU WILL NO LONGER BE AFRAID OR ANGRY BECAUSE OF THE EVIL ONE.)

TAKE CARE ALL.

Signed sincerely,

(A FELLOW VICTIM/SUFFERER)


If you apply what I have written here and things are successful please respond with a follow up posting of the outcome/results of what occurred. I would be very interested in knowing how it all went and what the final outcome ended up being.
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  #50  
Old 05-03-11, 07:03 AM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

This writing goes out to everyone in this forum.

After my first writing in this forum, I went back and read some more of the comments/suggestions which you people wrote. Upon doing so, there is one thing here, that I wish to share with you all. Here it is.

When dealing with a true Narcissist the valuable tools of life like forgiveness, kindness, reasoning, rationallizing don't and will never work, to change them, the Narcissist. I have tried them all to no avail. These tools are only taken as a sign of weakness, and you will be further attacked, and even more severely. At the same time, doing nothing is foolish. You will only hurt yourself by doing nothing. Some of these types of people/narcissists have tortured their victims to the brink of suicide, nay to the committing of suicide itself, they do not have a conscience. (I know of a person that was a kind loving soul at his center that committed suicide and the narcissist was largely responsible.


If they/the Narcissist can not use you, for they’re own personal gain, they will surely overly abuse you. If you can see them for what they really are and you let them know it, you become more heavily attacked. They will do almost anything to prevent you from showing others what they are. They often pretend to be nice at this point to sucker you once again. But, it has been my experience, all my life that a person that is truly hurtful and evil by nature, cannot pretend to, put on the act of kindness for very long. (and it is an act believe me, the only thing about them that is real is their evil.) They always return to the ways of their true inner self. The self which is at the very core of all of us. Some of us, most of us, I believe have the core of love for our fellow man. And then there are the evil ones. The very sick ones.) Hang around an acting nice narcissist long enough and you will begin to see their true nature coming through. They cannot hold their evil ways at bay for long, the true self will resurface, again and again and again. A Narcissist can no more change themselves into a good person, than a person with a kind caring heart for humanity, can allow themselves to become evil. Every act of kindness that you are fooled into thinking a Narcissist is performing has an underlying motive, in one way or another. Designed and performed to manifest an outcome which benefits them the most. In other words, and I say again, going by 51 years of personal experience, they never ever do good to others, unless it benefits themselves in some way, either immediately or further down the road, into the future.

One is best off to think of a Narcissist, as an evil genius. For this is what they are. Especially the highly skilled ones. Some of them, have been known to fool people with many years of psychiatric training, some sociopaths and psychopaths have been especially good and highly successful at this. When done with you, done using you for the moment, they will discard you just as easily as a used Kleenex tissue.

I believe in God and in the Devil. I also believe in forgiveness. But forgiveness does not mean that you forget about the pain and let someone continue bashing down your spirit. (As if you could do this, impossible when you have almost taken your own life, because of these highly sick and disturbed individuals, and sick is what they truly are. Why do you think they call it Narcissistic Personality Disorder?)

The bible says to forgive others. I tend to believe this to be great wisdom and I shall explain why here. If you do not forgive eventually, you will become filled with anger, which can be turned inward on the self, this can then lead to chronic depression, and eventually suicide to end your lifelong pain that you experience when dealing with this individual. Pain, which after you have been successfully programmed by the Narcissist, you actually mentally start inflicting upon yourself, because you just can’t get them out of your head. All Narcissists love playing mind games with their victims. (It is believed in the Psychiatric profession, that Depression’s main cause for manifesting, within an individual, is the repression of anger, which becomes turned inward on the self. A Narcissist will put all of his/her effort into making you swallow your anger. You are not permitted to feel anger, especially towards them. Hell if they had their way completely, you would not be permitted to feel anything at all. This includes joy, love, sadness, excitement or even feeling good about anything.) They would remove your ability to experience any of these things. They try to do this to certain people/persons all of their life. In order to make you mindless and gain total control over you. So that, they may use you to fill their desires, in any way that the see fit. They want mindless unfeeling robots beckoning on demand to their call.

If you carry anger/hatred around with you all of your life, it could very well consume you, you and every aspect of your being. You may even develope other physical life threatening illnesses from the swallowed pain, that they feed you for decades.

The forgiveness is really more for yourself, to forgive ones enemies benefits the forgiver greatly. You should forgive, so that, you may begin the long journey of healing yourself. For it is through forgiveness that you begin to free yourself of your anger and hatred, thus beginning the process of your internal healing.

Forgiveness does not mean you forget what was done to you. That would just be plain stupid. You don’t want to set yourself up and make yourself vulnerable to the next Narcissist coming down the line. And Believe me, when I say you will meet others in your life. There is no shortage of these sick people. Nor should you ever cease to protect yourself. Forgiveness of those who hurt us, is the first true and only step to the beginning of self-healing.

Believe me when I say I know of what I speak. I myself have survived the torture of a narcissist for 51 years now. I myself, right now, as I write this, am contemplating suicide, this is the last thing in the world that I want to do, but the pain has become so great it is reaching a state of being unbearable. NO ONE WANTS TO COMMIT SUICIDE!! I BELIEVE IT IS A LAST RESORT TO FINALLY END THE LIFELONG PAIN ONE HAS ENDURED.

I am still fighting and I am, at present, about to spill my guts, my life story, to a psychiatrist, right from my childhood up until the present time. I do not want sympathy from anyone. I write this now to try and help others out there in the world, and it is also therapeutic for myself.

Another, highly invaluable step to true healing is to release the pain caused by this person. You must talk about it to someone, anyone you can trust fully. If you don't have this type of caring person in your life, or a shrink, then talk to god. You are worth fighting for. You are a valuable person. It is the narcissist that is the extremely sick one. Not you. They have just hurt you so badly that it's seems impossible to rid yourself of the pain. I still believe that I can heal myself, and I pray that I can continue to fight. Suicides also exist in this world for a reason, if only to teach others to be there, for the next victim of a narcissist. Listen and listen hard, when people try to tell you of their pain, you just might be the one that shows them how they can save themselves. You also, may need to lean on them in your time of need down the road. Believe me, there will be many times of need for everyone alive.

I have said everything I want to say about this here at this time. I only have one more thing to add. I am going to share something with you all now that is very personal to me.

The suicide I spoke of earlier in this writing was that of my youngest brother, and I miss him dearly he was at his core a good and loving soul.

Here's the real kicker.

THE NARCISSIST IS MY OWN FATHER!

(If any of what I have written here, helps even one person, (I’m also doing it to help myself.) even slightly, and I would like to believe that it will. Then my own life still has purpose and meaning.
For those of you who are wondering. Yes, I still love my father, I have always loved my father, even after all the pain inflicted upon my Mother, my Brothers and Myself. I just wish that he could have loved us. And if he does, at love us at all, somewhere buried in all that sickness, that he could truly show it. I would even settle for just one “”I love you Son.””

I sincerely thank you for reading this, signed sincerely,


(A FELLOW VICTIM/SUFFERER)


P.S.


MAY GOD PROTECT YOU ALL!


And to quote one of “IF NOT THE WORLD’S MOST FAMOUS QUOTE/QUOTES”

“FORGIVE THEM FATHER. FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO.”
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  #51  
Old 05-03-11, 09:52 AM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

Zann, I've read the same materials as you. Bully-on-line is by far the best and most extensive website out there. Very well done. I've had to refer to it time and again for info and some sort of soothing...there is really not much we can do except run the other way. I'm so sorry that your N and probably S/P has harmed and hurt you. Family does make it more complex. It sounds as if you are on the right path for yourself. We must not react maliciously toward them, no matter what they have done to us. Many blessings to you.
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  #52  
Old 05-03-11, 02:10 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

A friend sent this today...very timely.

Beloveds, many years ago, Martin Luther King, Jr. offered these
profound words of Truth and Love:

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not

rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate
for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night
already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love
can do that."
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  #53  
Old 05-03-11, 02:16 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aspie101 View Post
I was expecting someone to say I was the issue. Well I myself was bullied when I was little so I guess you've got my soft under belly I don't personally care, I would like to just remove another bully if you will because It left a bad taste in my mouth, Idk if this guy is "broken" but he has certainly "broken" other people. I've tried to be friends but he usually ends up just being condescending because hes in better shape, if you mention anything hes done that was less than perfect he comes back with heavy personal attacks, he even pushes our coach around. Is there something I'm missing here? Do you think NPD's, psycho/sociopaths should be aloud to manipulate and hurt? Just curious. Maybe "destroy" is a bit harsh think of it as "teaching".
Since it's impossible to 'teach' an N or an Spath...it is up to us to 'learn' and take the High Road no matter what. Also, the best thing to do, if the situation will allow it...is to have NO CONTACT. If that's not possible, as in your case, then we take the High Road.

In a way, the N or the Spath becomes like the alcoholic...we didn't cause it, we can't control it, and we can't cure it....we detach with love and go our own way. Our learning is a process, and believe me, I am STILL learning all the time.
  #54  
Old 05-03-11, 05:45 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

This is a thank you for EmilyM and a note to all the world's other sufferers as well.

I thank you for your kind words EmilyM, May God Bless You, Watch Over You Always, Keep You Safe From Harm and give you the necessary guidance in life when it is most needed, may he show you the light/truth, to always do the right thing, especially in your HELLISH moments. THE WILL OF GOD.

Especially when evil tries it's damdest, to take you down, and believe me it will try it's best, periodically. Go with God/Jesus and take care, all of you.

Also, To All The Narcissists Out There, who may be reading on these kinds of websites/forums.

"I EMPLORE YOU TO STOP THE HURTING, NOW." "YOU ARE CAUSING EXTREME IRREPAIRABLE DAMAGE TO A LOT OF INNOCENT PEOPLE. SOME OF THOSE PEOPLE, WILL, AND HAVE, COMMITTED SUICIDE BECAUSE OF YOUR HORRIBLE ACTS/BULLYING AND IF THIS IS THE CASE THAN YOU ARE IN ALL ESSENCE A MURDERER. THIS IS NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF, IT'S JUST PLAIN SICK/EVIL. "THE HURT MUST STOP!!"

SOME PEOPLE IN YOUR LIVES, ARE TRYING THEIR DAMDEST, TO JUST LOVE YOU, AND OCASSIONALLY TO HOPEFULLY RECEIVE LOVE IN RETURN, FROM YOU."

(I would like to believe/think that a person or persons with the inability to love/show love and accept love from others, must, at the very core of their being/beings/souls, be in the greatest pain of us all, and that is why they continuously strike out at the rest of us. It's possible that they have never had an example, within their lives of unconditional love or any sort of love at all.)

In this area I have been most fortunate. For my Mother was the exact opposite of my Father. She loved all in her family unconditionally. She would have, and did do anything/everything to help them, when they would let her. This is what I am and always will be most thankful to God for, her presence/example of love in my life, has meant more than anything else in this world to me, and more than anything else ever will. She even saved my life once, when I was the most down, I had ever been. She is with God now, and I shall forever miss her, and I will always think of her fondly and with great love, respect and admiration. This is no word of a lie. I can't in all my years, 47 of them while she was alive, ever, even once recall one incident where she ever hurt me intentionally or deliberately. On the other hand, my own Father has hurt me intentionally/deliberately, thousands of times. He's still doing it, after all the years of my Mother and I trying to make him understand the difference between right and wrong, trying to show and teach him the unlimited wealth and joy there is in an act of love. He, either just doesn't get it, or he doesn't want to. MY NARCISSIST'S LOVE IS FOR HIMSELF, MONEY, THINGS AND POWER ONLY. THIS IS A VERY, VERY SAD STATE INDEED, FOR ANYONE. I PITY THIS TYPE OF PERSON AND I FEEL EXTREMELY SORRY FOR THEM, FOR THEY SHALL NEVER EVER KNOW THE JOY OF LOVE AND WHAT SHOULD BE THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO THEM. FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO LOVE YOU. IT IS NOT FOR ME TO FIX, IT IS NOT TO BE ME OR HER TO PROVIDE THE HEALING. WHY GOD? WHY?

(Imagine if you will, a child raised up by both, a Narcissistic Mother & Father. No firm positive loving examples in their lives. Just torture and pain. THIS MUST BE PURE HELL!! I believe that our world's prison systems are filled with many such victims. But, they still, must pay for their crimes. Many, I sadly feel will, will never, ever be fixed/fixable they have been permanently damaged/broken, they will never know unconditional love, neither in the way of giving or receiving it.)

WHEN IN GREAT PAIN, PEOPLE, SOMETIMES HAVE THE TENDENCY TO STRIKE OUT AT OTHERS.

I've done it myself, more than once. We've all done it. I am always sorry afterwards for hurting the other person. It only causes further damage to them, the relationship you have with them, and to yourself. I believe that it is not the best way for anyone concerned, far from it. It is just a form of self-defense/self-preservation.

Until we have evolved more spiritually, and learned to love more deeply, deeply enough to find a way to heal these very sick people, I'm afraid our present methods, will have to suffice for the present state of man's existence and spiritual development level, in the name of self-preservation.

"WE MUST ALL PROTECT OURSELVES AND THOSE WE LOVE. NOTHING ELSE IN LIFE SHOULD MEAN MORE TO US THAN THOSE WE LOVE AND THOSE WHO LOVE US IN RETURN!!"

"WE ARE ALL GOD'S CHILDREN, EVEN THE NARCISSISTS AND SOCIO/PSYCHOPATH'S"

This does not mean that I will never be angry at them, this does not mean that I will never hurt them in return, I am human also and I also make mistakes in my relationships with other people. If you believe that you never make mistakes or hurt other human beings in your relationships. Then you, yourself may be and probably are a Narcissist/Socio/Psychpath.

TAKE CARE ALL.

Signed sincerely,

A VICTIM/SUFFERER
  #55  
Old 05-03-11, 06:16 PM
Blueranne Blueranne is offline
 

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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

OMG there is no way I can read through some of these long posts!
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  #56  
Old 05-03-11, 06:37 PM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

Get a bow and arrow make a target and hang it in your yard.
  #57  
Old 05-04-11, 09:46 AM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beaver View Post
It is definitely NOT true. Look at boxers, sure a lot of them are narcissists, but some are very humble, Joe Calgazhe, Manny Pacquiao, Joe Louis, I heard Ricky Hatton(?) etc weren't narcissists or ***holes,etc. MMA also, George St-Pierre,Anderson Silva, most of the big names seem OK guys. I think some come across as such but it is only a facade (Mayweather? Ali most definetely).

Likewise for businessmen...Henry Ford didn't mind doing cartwheels with kids until his old age.There was one big oil magnate -forgot his name- who had something like 32 billions in raw revenue or some ridiculous number like that and less then 20 000 $ expenditures annually.

I think it is the same for politicians or businessmen: most are humble but it's only the histrionic ones that get airtime.
Could not agree more! There seems to be a tendency these days to equate success and wealth with greed and selfishness. This depends entirely on how you define success. Bernie Madoff was a financial success for many years, but I doubt many would say he's a success now.

I'd say most successful people are successful because they are innovative and creative. And, despite how much Hollywood wants us to believe it, having a mental illness does not typically set one up for a lifetime of fame and riches.

I had a student last year who I believe could have been a narcissist, or at least she showed a lot of narcissistic tendencies. All I saw for her long-term future was a lot of broken relationships and mistrust, and the sad part was she didn't seem to be able (or willing) to foresee any of the problems her behavior might cause. (Granted, she was also 14...but even for a 14 year old, she had a chilling absence for the considerations of others.) Although I'm sure that *some* successful people are also selfish jerks, in general, I don't think that type of behavior leads to real success.

In all likelihood, this guy's negative behavior will or already is punishing him with an unhappy life. I don't think you (the OP) need to do anything to make sure he gets his comeuppance. These things tend to work themselves out, for better or worse.
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  #58  
Old 05-04-11, 11:04 AM
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

uh..

theres a HUGE difference between being a celebrity (of any kind) and being a narcissist.

thats not even in the same ballpark.. its not even the same game

There are celebrities who are narcissistic.. but.. to say that "most" boxers are narcissists? .. th.. to even say that a significant population of boxers, and nobel prize winners are narcissists?? thats... requires a bit of data to back that up as far as im concerned.. thats cozy like a quilt like blanket statement right there.. Im not sure that narcissism is "common" enough to be a celebrity disorder. The psychology of Olympic level Athletes and Celebrities, is a different textbook than NPD all together.

Being a narcissist isnt just about "entitlement" issues. And even if it was, the contexts that are being lobbed around this thread (very subjectively) would even still be a bit inaccurate Its a completely different perception on the language of reality itself.. its not as simple as "teach'em a lesson".

I dont have any tips on how to "cope" with a narcissist, but i know that "breaking them" and "bending them" to your will.. is going to create far more harm than good. In fact.. if they actually do have a PD, you will likely hurt and damage them unquantifiably a whole lot deeper than you are even intending to (even on a really cruel and mean day). That might sound enticing at the moment, but.. seriously think about that.

Irregardless it doesnt sound like you're describing someone with a PD. But im no pro.. however my gut says "that sounds like every jock in my highschool". And i pale to think that every jock in my highschool had a personality disorder, beyond being a.. jock.. in highschool. (Not Otherwise Specified, of course).

Look bud, high school is high school. any points that anyone is trying to prove during these years are really quite meaningless. In the long run, nobody cares, about either you or him. I know what it feels like to wanna take someone down a notch, but.. i have to speak on behalf of everyone who has been bullied in Highschool, and who has gotten back in touch with everyone from his highschool 10 years after the fact..

If thats his program, you've already won. You have my word on that.

He wants to be a douche now? *shrug* let him.

Focus on you, You got like... MCATs, GRE's and SATs, and and and like.. OMGs and XTRAs and IDKs and stuffses

Don't let it contaminate your academics.

I_DTour
  #59  
Old 05-04-11, 12:09 PM
uncle shrek uncle shrek is offline
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

im no stranger to bullies,narcissists,etc,etc.
ive got a nasty boss at work.no profanities are strong enough to describe her,but she will get her just desserts one day.everybody hates her.she is constantly hounding me for attention,but only my fiance has the right to nag my ears off!

Last edited by meadd823; 05-05-11 at 04:22 AM.. Reason: This is a family freinldly forum please see guideliens
  #60  
Old 05-04-11, 12:13 PM
uncle shrek uncle shrek is offline
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Re: How to destroy a narcissist?

remember,a kind person can do something right and no one remembers,but an a-hole can just make one mistake and no one forgets!and make sure you publicly remind and humiliate them when they do.
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