Zero Self Motivation - how do you deal with it?

[Walter52]

Hello all,
in my personal experience inattentive ADHD and a zero level of self motivation go hand in hand. Procrastination - not wanting to do what I want to do. Making a plan, and then not finding enough emotional power to execute the plan. Criticised for this at work, criticised for this at home.

But even harsh criticism does not give enough trigger to start. All books and concepts of self discipline and motivation are at hand, but something keeps me from even starting. And I really have this weakness since birth.

My guess is, that I am not alone with it. So people, what is your observation and what is helping you out of this deadlock? Thank you for good answers!

Walter52

[ADDapting]

I often find that just getting started is the hardest part. Once I do that, I usually, (but not always) stick with the task for a while at least.

One way I get started is to tell myself that I only have to spend 6 minutes (or 12) getting started and then I can quit. Most of the time, I keep going beyond that time once I'm doing it. I guess there is a certain momentum operating.

Another way I trick myself is to tell myself that I am NOT going to get started on the task right now, but if I were going to get started, I ask myself what would be the first step. Somehow thinking about the first step in a hypothetical way, makes it easier to actually take the first step.

It has also helped me to breaks down, even very simple tasks, into ridiculously small parts. (1. walk to the desk. 2 open the bill 3. find the checkbook, 4. write the check. 5 find envelope and address 6. put stamps on) That not only makes it clear what the steps are, but also I get to cross off all these tasks which gives me immediate gratification.

[Walter52]

Thank you very much for your comment. I also observe something like a 6 minute wall at the start. A very good point.

[Padme]

Medication has helped somewhat with my procrastination. I have to be careful though because if I get started on surfing the internet or something, I getreally focused on that instead of what I'm supposed to be doing. If I'm stuck, sometimes taking a short walk and coming back to the task will allow me to get started on a task. This sounds childish but a lot of times I promise myself a reward. For example, I'll get a cookie if I finish some paperwork. Cheesy but it works sometimes.

[Azoox]

Procrastination is a very tricky thing. On the surface, it looks like not accomplishing anything and stalling, which is why it often feels like laziness, but deep inside it's one complicated psychological mishmash. Procrastination always manifests some lack of meaning in what is to be done/performed/accomplished. For instance, when I was writing my dissertation, procrastinating beyond imagination, my therapist posed me what turned out to be the central questions: What does your project really mean to you? What function is it supposed to fulfill in your life? That was an eye opener to me. If there's no meaningful function behind what you're doing, or if its function is significantly diminished, you won't have enough or any motivation whatsoever to create a momentum propelling you towards achievement. That's as simple as that.
As far as what exactly is going on inside you is a very individual matter. Only you can really establish what the things you do mean to you. When I see myself procrastinate, I always ask myself precisely the same questions as above: What's at stake for me? What is it that I'm not gaining from the task? What am I gaining from not accomplishing it? Your answers to these questions may be diverse, e.g. I fear this particular part of the task, I fear failure, I feel incompetent, the task seems to be too big for me to handle, it's not a meaningful step in my career, etc. This could go on and on and on, but then the scenarios are endless. Once you've established the underlying cause, you're going to feel relief. It's so much easier to make a decision as to whether to go ahead and start doing something, approach something differently, or simply drop it if it's really meaningless to you, no harm done.
All the above is just one thing to look at it, but I am convinced that procrastination is a signal of an underlying disorder the same way as a headache is a signal of something more specific going wrong. Dealing with procrastination is a challenge, but it can start making sense only if you make a sense of what really makes you stall.

[stef]

Originally Posted by ADDapting

Another way I trick myself is to tell myself that I am NOT going to get started on the task right now, but if I were going to get started, I ask myself what would be the first step. Somehow thinking about the first step in a hypothetical way, makes it easier to actually take the first step.

It has also helped me to breaks down, even very simple tasks, into ridiculously small parts. (1. walk to the desk. 2 open the bill 3. find the checkbook, 4. write the check. 5 find envelope and address 6. put stamps on) That not only makes it clear what the steps are, but also I get to cross off all these tasks which gives me immediate gratification.

thank you for posting that. Actually that's how I get started when I've procrastinated to the point of actually being frozen in front of some task. I thought I was the only one going so far with "breaking things down". At work the one I use is "all you have to do for now is, just open the document on the computer".

So it's sunday evening here already, I wrote a fantastic list but the day has slipped away and am too stressed out now, to look at the list. One of the things I listed was to do my nails (trivial, but I used dark nail polish 2 wks ago and this looks terrible). So now all I have to do is - remove the dark nail polish. and maybe I will be able to do a couple of other things after that! ok logging off for a while...

[C8H10N4O2]

Originally Posted by ADDapting

I guess there is a certain momentum operating.

I've always described myself as having a "ridiculously high coefficient of static friction" and comparatively really low "coefficient of kinetic friction".

[styversal]

Walter, you said no medication? I can relate to that but I have to say, I just started Strattera almost four weeks ago and cannot believe the difference! I'm 54 and just got diagnosed. My motivation is great in the a.m. and I get nappy after about five or six hours. I'll work that out with my doctor as time progresses. I can say medication is a must. I self medicated with cocaine for many years (30 yrs.) not knowing I was ADHD. Cocaine doesn't work for many reasons, but I did the best I could with what I knew at the time. After being clean and sober for 4 1/2 years I knew something was wrong when I couldn't get out of the couch along with many other symptoms, self motivation being one of them. I got diagnosed by an addiction psychiatrist who knows ADHD. Why I waited so long to get help is partially understandable since I was trying out my new sobriety for 4 1/2 yrs. I figured it was time to get help. If you can, get help. Can you get meds for ADHD in Switzerland? I believe the ADHD brain does not do well on it's own and most likely requires medication to some degree. Since I started medication it's like night and day in terms of self motivation. I love it! Life is good.

[alan1]

I agree with the above poster - medication. I'm also on Strattera and it has helped my motivation a lot especially in the AM (I take it in the AM). I get super sleepy by early afteroon and take a short nap when I can but use a time and get up after 20 minutes so I can fall asleep at night when I need to at bedtime.

Rewards are also helpful. If I do X for 15 minutes then I get to do Y for a certain amout of time too. If I'm still motivated at the end of that 15 minutes I'll continue but stop if I've hit the wall. Timers are set for everything so I don't get caught up in diversions and waste away my day.

[aspringer]

This is my first post. I apologize if it is in the wrong forum, and I apologize for it's length. But if anyone feels they are up to it, I would appreciate your reading it and offering any insight or opinions.

I am 51 years old. I've had a diagnosis of ADD for 7 years or so.
My family consists of (wonderful) people who see something that needs to be done and they simply do it.
I am as just as likely to not even be aware of something that needs to be done, if I am aware, or even if there is something I want to do, I seem to be lacking the "thing" that propels people to get up and do.
I can be successful at work. I think that is in part because it is an environment with a finite end. It is not a continual string of things that I should or need to be doing. It is almost as if I am overwhelmed by choices when I am not in a structured environment. Instead of being motivated to do something, I sit immobile, unable to do anything. And my brain is equally busy either going over all the things I should be doing or reminding me how ridiculous (and "bad") it is that I am not doing something.
Why can I not get myself up off the sofa and at least do something.
I (with my husbands help) raised 2 intelligent successful children (now adults), managed to feed them, keep a reasonably neat house, managed to not forget the majority of meetings, dance classes, doctor and dentist appointments. The last couple of years however, I have not been as able to cope. As I said, I have been successful at work, although I have made impulsive and regretful job changes.
Thank you all for listening. I know there is no magic bullet that is going to fix me. I have used Adderal with some success. At least it will usually propel me off the sofa. (although it hasn't so far today). I do have Crohn's disease (inflammatory bowel disease) and that can have an impact on energy. But like ADD, I can't allow that to be an excuse to not be the best I can be. And right now, the Crohns is mostly in remission.
I would like to hear from anyone, if there is anyone who goes through each day much as I do. Feeling as if getting anything done is nothing short of a miracle yet wanting so very badly to do so much more, to be the person I want to be. I try, I really do try to not get bogged down in the big picture, to try to even do one small thing but mostly I feel like I fail. I really do feel like I am missing some vital piece of brain chemical that puts thoughts into action. I am sure there is an element of depression. But is the depression the cause or the result. Am I just making excuses for being "lazy" and unmotivated or is there actually a chemical reason for my distress. Is there hope I will ever be different, or should I just resign myself to "this is how I am" and hope I will some day accept it.
I am mostly sure the ADD diagnosis is right. Long before I had heard of ADD, my son (a teenager at he time) said "Mom, shopping with you is so crazy. Every few seconds you veer off to look at something, do you ever know where you are really going. You are like, ooh look, something shiny, ooh look, something pretty, ooh look, I've never seen that before." and he is so very right. My daughter, who is a Speech Language Pathologists, has said I am the "walking poster child for Adult ADD" and she has some education background recognizing ADD/ADHD, although mostly in regard to children.
I will stop now. Again sorry for the length. Maybe just the act of putting some of these thoughts in words will help.
And while I will appreciate any insight - if I need to be told to just grow up and get over myself, feel free to say that too.
Thank you.

[Walter52]

Hello styversal,
in Switzerland they only know Ritalin. Very very difficult to reach better medication. A frustrating process.

[Azoox]

Originally Posted by aspringer

It is almost as if I am overwhelmed by choices when I am not in a structured environment. Instead of being motivated to do something, I sit immobile, unable to do anything. And my brain is equally busy either going over all the things I should be doing or reminding me how ridiculous (and "bad") it is that I am not doing something.
Why can I not get myself up off the sofa and at least do something.

I go through the same issues as you. I know precisely the origins of my inertia, though. I simply fear the (imagined?) enormity of the tentacles of the institution which I have to be facing very soon. I basically view it as a giant, vertical wall with hardly any handles to hold on to, which I have to climb and overcome anyway. This fear paralyzes me, which, in turn, affects my life across the board: I don't eat well, I don't sleep well, I become grumpy, my job doesn't satisfy me anymore, my intellectual investment vanishes, my concentration is a big joke, and I succumb so much more easily to the vices that I otherwise quite successfully avoid.
What strikes me, though, is that I'm not sure all this is ADHD-related, actually. I think that procrastination is always a psychological *allergy* to some sense of dissatisfaction/imbalance/void. I may be wrong here, but I don't quite see how ADHD alone could be causing this. I see it as a bump on the road, yes, but not quite as the core of the matter. For instance, could it be that viewing ADHD as a source of many limitations in your life overwhelms you to the point that you subconsciously sabotage yourself? Is it possible that you're experiencing a deficiency in challenges in life? Has your life perhaps become too much of the *run of the mill*? Too predictable? What is the wildest, most exciting thing you'd like to do now and what stops you from doing it? Sometimes an *electric shock* does the trick, so doing that wildest thing may revive you and rejuvenate your sense of life.
That's just my two cents. Maybe that'll help, maybe not, but at least you may pluck up the courage to rise beyond self-flagellation towards something pushing you off the couch. I know how hard it is, trust me, so you're far from alone in all this, but I also know that the first step is the hardest, so there's as much hope for you to make it as is there for me and anyone else here.

[styversal]

Consider this
1. If it's not right, keep working with your doctor, don't assume the initial dosage or medication is the correct one. Verbalize what you feel.
2. If it's not right, don't assume that it's just ADHD, as it frequently runs with other conditions.
3. Keep a journal for your doctor to be as accurate with the info you present him.
4. Be willing to work with your doctor until you get it right.
5. Try not beating yourself up. It's really not your fault, it's brain chemistry.
Self condemnation only complicates matters and only contributes to irrational and distorted thinking which I think we're all guilty of from time to time.
6. Think in terms of solutions and not in terms of problems. (reshape the way you think).

[Walter52]

Thank you - good answer!

[Michiko74]

I'll go with the others who mentioned medication. Remember, your procrastination is a symptom of the ADHD. Using just behavioural techniques isn't going to cut it. I'm not saying some of the other suggestions weren't helpful. But chances are they have a better chance of working if you treated the underlying cause.