ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > CO-EXISTING CONDITIONS > ADDiction & Substance Abuse
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-10-11, 08:00 PM
ToastedBunny ToastedBunny is offline
Jr Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 10
Thanks: 1
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
ToastedBunny is on a distinguished road
Adderall Addiction

Okay, I'm not sure how long this post will be.. but I have a lot of experiences I want to share; mostly about Adderall. Just so you know, I am 20 years old, female, and I'm 5'5"; weighing 140 lbs.

I JUST switched from taking Adderall IR to Vyvanse today, I ran out of my Adderall prescription last night. I was prescribed 60mg; 3 x 20mg a day. I started from 20mg daily, to 40mg a month later.. and then found myself asking for a higher dosage of 60mg. Well apparently, I have a problem with staying away from amphetamines because yesterday was the third month I ran out a week, maybe even earlier, of my prescription. It got to where the 'euphoric' feeling of Adderall that I so loved would end sooner and sooner. At first it lasted about two hours on a normal day after taking each 20mg tablet, to only 10 minutes. Sometimes, I took anywhere from my prescribed dosage of 60mg -to 140mg a day; with an average of FIVE tablets a day... making it 100mg. Yes, my heart rate increased dramatically after about the fourth pill each time, but I could care less as long as I felt happy. It got to where I would only get 4-6 hours of sleep daily (not even at night) with frequent all nighters. I would stay up over 24 hours, sometimes even 48. That's where I would feel like.. ****. I'm pretty sure I've experienced psychosis more than twenty times within the past two months. Sleep deprivation is NOT a good feeling at all. I started getting weird body sensations, like there are little fuzzy hairs sitting on my skin, annoying the hell out of me. My stomach would feel as if there was a 20 pound weight sitting on it. My eyes felt as if they were going to fall out any second. My throat and mouth felt dry, like I had been eating chalk all day. My head hair was getting so bothersome, I would sit there and run my fingers through it all day and night, each time pulling out more than four hairs.. I'm surprised I'm not balding. I would sometimes go a week or more without taking a shower, my skin would get SO itchy I couldn't take it anymore so I HAD to take a shower eventually. Around 5 AM I would get wired feeling and start picking at my skin, causing red marks EVERYWHERE I could get at, especially my chest. I'd get so distracted sitting at my computer over endless hours.. and hours, looking at NOTHING important. Just reading bull****, useless bull**** when I should have been working on my commissions (I draw for people online). I weighed, 6 months ago, 185 lbs. CURRENTLY, I weigh 140.. meaning I have lost 45 lbs ALL do to my addiction to Adderall. I never exercised or ate healthy. In fact, I barely ate at all. I look like a damn crack addict with my eyes sunken in and dark lids. I guess that's what Speed addicts look like, which was basically me..

At first I thought I was fine, and I was for the first 3 months of taking Adderall. I could control myself. But then I couldn't and kept telling myself, "One more pill can't hurt... I'll just take less towards the end of my prescription." That one more pill each day turned into TWO more pills each day.. then THREE more pills each day.. to, "****.. I ran out." and a horrid next several days of no amphetamines to live on. Withdrawal symptoms SUCK ***. I never knew my body could feel so horrible, ever!

I finally admitted to myself after abusing this drug; that it was no longer working and it was making me feel miserable instead of 'good' like it used to. I told my psychiatrist.. who then immediately wanted to take me off all stimulants. That would have been hell for the next month or two. I told her my mom would distribute my meds to me everyday, making sure I didn't take more than was prescribed. I told her about Vyvanse; that people said it didn't give them the initial 'rush' Adderall did.. thus more-so preventing the addiction effect. She agreed and quickly put me on Vyvanse.. 40mg daily. So basically I'm going from taking around 100mg of Adderall a day, to 40mg of another stimulant. That's losing 60mg a day. I'm REALLY hoping it won't give me horrid withdrawal symptoms. And I'm also hoping it will still make me motivated like Adderall did for me the first couple months. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Adderall. I just can't handle it, my personality won't let me.. and I analyze everything to death; my mood, my boyfriend, my friends, my actions. EVERYTHING.

So far I feel weird. I'm getting the weird fuzzy sensations, my hair is bothering me.. I feel kinda sick to my stomach and my body feels numb. I don't know if this is the withdrawal symptoms of not taking Adderall anymore, or what. I had plenty of sleep last night so I don't think it's sleep deprivation.

Do any of you think I'll be fine taking Vyvanse? Not abusing it that is.. Just taking my regular prescribed dosage daily. I'm getting scared from reading peoples' reviews on it, they say they have bad side effects switching from Adderall to Vyvanse. Why couldn't I have just obeyed my prescribed amount? Why am I like that? I hate it. And I'm going to hate myself even more if this drug turns to crap.. I won't be able to go back on my normal dose of Adderall without my psychiatrist thinking I'm just going to turn into an addict again.

What are your opinions? By the way, I've NEVER been addicted to a drug before. I've ALWAYS taken my prescribed dosage as given. I've never done hardcore drugs either. And I've never smoked cigarettes, gotten drunk nor smoked weed. Amphetamines are apparently an exception.


EDIT: I just found out that 40mg of Vyvanse is only 20mg of Adderall. My psychiatrist didn't even ask to ween me off of Adderall first.. then go on Vyvanse. In fact she was impatient when I came in two days ago to talk to her, she was quick to get me in and out. I've decided to switch my psychiatrists.. and I'm going to ask for Adderall again. And this time, give it to my mother to manage it for me until I feel I can handle NOT abusing it anymore. Hopefully I can get back on my old dosage and feel normal again.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ToastedBunny For This Useful Post:
ecu20 (04-20-11)
  #2  
Old 03-10-11, 08:22 PM
Possum's Avatar
Possum Possum is offline
Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cortez, Colorado
Posts: 1,266
Thanks: 1,841
Thanked 1,758 Times in 774 Posts
Possum has a reputation beyond reputePossum has a reputation beyond reputePossum has a reputation beyond reputePossum has a reputation beyond reputePossum has a reputation beyond reputePossum has a reputation beyond reputePossum has a reputation beyond reputePossum has a reputation beyond reputePossum has a reputation beyond reputePossum has a reputation beyond reputePossum has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Adderall Addiction

I think that giving the adderall to your Mom is a good solution for the short run, but what are you going to do when you move out of home? Usually, when someone starts abusing/becomes addicted to a drug, it is extremely difficult to go back and take it only as directed.

You might want to start researching other meds now. I can't say much about vyvance. My PA prescribed it for me, but for some reason my insurance wouldn't cover it. So, I went back to adderall which I'll admit that I take a few more than prescribed, but haven't run into trouble because of that. I just take a holiday once a week. Just remember that a med is not going to effect everyone the same. Had your doc tapered you off the adderall, and THEN prescribed the vyvance, your response might have been quite different.

If you get into trouble for a second time, you might want to try something like strattera. Lots of folks seem to do well on it and it doesn't have the addiction potential of the stims.

Good luck to you!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-10-11, 09:47 PM
giggles26 giggles26 is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: usa
Posts: 25
Thanks: 0
Thanked 16 Times in 10 Posts
giggles26 will become famous soon enough
Re: Adderall Addiction

I agree, I would stay away from Adderall. I just stopped taking 90mg a day cold turkey and it sucked. I still feel really tired all the time and like I am in a fog, but after the intial like 2 days or so, I noticed a huge difference and starting feeling "normal" again instead of a cracked out drug user. I too have never even smoked pot, and have a bad habit of taking lower what I am supposed to in meds, but I could tell I was on a slippery slope of addiction and I am glad I quit when I did. Things are looking up for me, and if I were you stop making excuses why you need on adderall.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to giggles26 For This Useful Post:
ecu20 (04-20-11), Mesaana (03-11-11), Possum (03-10-11)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 04-19-11, 04:28 AM
franzshire franzshire is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 8
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
franzshire is on a distinguished road
Re: Adderall Addiction

You must manage your expectations of what Adderall will do. I believe it can work for you for a long time, I know that you will never maintain the initial euphoria beyond a week if you take your meds right. Are you taking Adderall to control your ADD or to induce euphoria? Be honest with yourself.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-19-11, 09:57 AM
Kaimei's Avatar
Kaimei Kaimei is offline
ADDvanced Forum Guru
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Tempe, AZ
Posts: 1,044
Thanks: 592
Thanked 1,455 Times in 580 Posts
Kaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Adderall Addiction

You've taken the first steps towards dealing with your addiction. Good for you! Telling your doctor was really a critical first step, and it must have taken a lot of strength.

Quote:
Originally Posted by franzshire View Post
You must manage your expectations of what Adderall will do.
That's a fantastic point, right there, and one of the hardest things to deal with when it comes to an addiction to a prescribed medication - walking the fine line between managing your condition and chasing the euphoria.

It does sound to me like you're going through withdrawals. I've been through that, coming off Tramadol after an injury. My friend went through much the same thing after being hospitalized and on a host of pain killers for nearly six months. Yes, you're going to feel like h**l. This is merely the physical effects of withdrawals. They can last anywhere from three days to a week.

It's the psychological element that is the most difficult though. Are you seeing your psychiatrist just for medication management, or counselling as well? Counselling, coaching, and support groups can make a world of difference. Ask your doctor for some recommendations, or look up local support groups in your area. Peer support is a powerful tool in recovery of any kind.

Stick with it, and good luck!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-19-11, 06:08 PM
grandma lise's Avatar
grandma lise grandma lise is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington State
Posts: 212
Thanks: 66
Thanked 232 Times in 118 Posts
grandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of light
Re: Adderall Addiction

To those who experienced euphoria taking stimulant medication at theraputic doses initially, how were you diagnosed? Are you sure you have AD/HD?

I ask only because I took Ritalin, then Dexedrine for years and never experienced euphoria or the desire to increase my dosage. When I increased my Ritalin from 17.5 mg/dose to 30 mg/dose for a few months to see if I'd been underdosing myself, I became more driven but also more irratible, and I developed a tick.

I have a friend who sometimes takes extra stimulant medication when she's up against a tight deadline, and she develops a facial grimace.

I've been talking with AD/HD adults for 20+ years, and some shared with me that they discovered they were AD/HD when they took a stimulant for the first time with a group of friends at a party. Their friends got euphoric, but they themselves didn't feel high at all. In fact, they felt more focused and couldn't understand why stimulant medication was so "fun".

I'd really like to hear more. This is contrary to everything I know about AD/HD. My understanding is that AD/HD adults do NOT experience euphoria on theraputic dosages of stimulant medication. I've always been told that to experience euphoria they'd have to take really high doses, or shoot or snort it.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-19-11, 08:15 PM
franzshire franzshire is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 8
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
franzshire is on a distinguished road
Re: Adderall Addiction

I'm not a doctor, but to me a drug is a drug. The brains of people with and without ADHD are much more similar than they are dissimilar. Even if a person has ADHD, they will probably experience what most might consider some euphoria, especially when they are not used to taking the drug. When they build a tolerance the euphoria will become greatly diminished, if not undetectable. This has been the case with me, but I know I don't take Adderall to feel euphoria, I take it to manage an attention deficit. Although the euphoria is gone and can't tell exactly when it is kicking in now, it is still doing its job. I am actually glad the high is gone now, because so are the lows.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 04-19-11, 10:12 PM
grandma lise's Avatar
grandma lise grandma lise is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington State
Posts: 212
Thanks: 66
Thanked 232 Times in 118 Posts
grandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of light
Re: Adderall Addiction

franzshire, there are different causes for AD/HD symptoms. The reason it's important for ToastedBunny, all of us actually, to get an accurate diagnosis is because if the AD/HD symptoms are due to a thyroid problem for example, appropriate treatment would not be a stimulant medication.

Non-AD/HD adults are at risk for becoming addicted to stimulants.

Hallowell and Ratey in their book, Driving to Distraction, compiled a list of "Conditions That May Accompany, Resemble, or Mask ADD":

anxiety disorder
bipolar disorder or mania
caffeinism (excessive coffee or cola drinking)
conduct disorder (in children)
depression
disorders of impulse control (stealing, fire-setting, and the like)
fatigue, chronic
history of fetal alcohol syndrome
hyperthyroidism or hypothyroidism
lead poisoning
learning disabililities
medications (e.g., phenobarbital and Dilantin)
obsessive compulsive disorder
oppositional disorder (in children)
pathological gambling
personality disorders such as narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, and passive-aggressive personality disorder
pheochromocytoma
post traumatic stress disorder
seizure disorder
situational disturbances such as a divorce or job loss or other disruption in one's life
substance abuse (e.g. cocaine, alcohol, marijuana)
tourette's syndrome

To this list I'd add aspergers.

In cases where more than one condition is present, it's important to treat all.

What ToastedBunny is describing is unusual and concerning to me. I'm genuinely concerned for her and want her to receive appropriate treatment. Frankly, I'm a bit put off by the way the psychiatrist handled this situation. In my mind an appropriate response would have been, "This is most unusual, let's get some more lab work done, let's take another look at your history beginning with your mother's pregnancy and your birth. Perhaps there's something else going on here. It may also be in your best interest to get a more thorough evaluation from a psychologist who is specialized in evaluating and testing for AD/HD and other conditions. To find the right treatment, we must first get the diagnosis right."

I'm not judging anyone here, well maybe I am judging the psychiatrist. I'm genuinely concerned.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 04-19-11, 11:21 PM
Kaimei's Avatar
Kaimei Kaimei is offline
ADDvanced Forum Guru
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Tempe, AZ
Posts: 1,044
Thanks: 592
Thanked 1,455 Times in 580 Posts
Kaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond reputeKaimei has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Adderall Addiction

I see what you're getting at, grandma lise....you're probably right about needing to have her diagnosis re-evaluated. A physical addiction can happen on any regularly prescribed medication, but the psychological effect is worrisome.

The first time I ever tried Adderall, I'll admit, was at a party several years ago. I just remember that being the most mellow, relaxed party I'd ever been at. I honestly don't remember much, except that it didn't interest me as a recreational drug. I didn't see what the fuss was all about.

The first prescribed dose I took was 20mgs, but it should have been 10. I was supposed to break the pill in half and try 10, and I forgot that until after I'd taken the pill. I didn't really get euphoric - or at least not as I define it - but taking the full 20mgs right off the bat definitely threw my body for a loop. For about 2 hours I was just kind of dopey. I was running at 1/4 speed, kind of light-headed and unfazed by anything.

I remember being horrified, because I was thinking there was no way I could function like that, and the doctor had promised me that it wouldn't turn me into a zombie. She'd also promised it wouldn't interfere with my life.

That was the only time I ever felt that way on Adderall, though. I can take up to 20mgs now if I need to, but it's usually 10/15 mgs, after titration. I've never, ever felt the way I did on the first dose - I think it was more of a reaction to accidentally taking a double dose my first time.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 04-20-11, 12:20 AM
grandma lise's Avatar
grandma lise grandma lise is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington State
Posts: 212
Thanks: 66
Thanked 232 Times in 118 Posts
grandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of lightgrandma lise is a glorious beacon of light
Re: Adderall Addiction

Kaimei, yes, I'm betting you're a hyperative-impulsive type. Taking too much stimulant medication zombies you out. You likely could take a nap on stimulants. I'm a inattentive type. If I take too much stimulant, I become driven, overly focused, and irritable. I'm no fun at all. That said, I'm a "happy" girl if I have a glass of wine or if I take enough klonopin or pain medication. I really watch myself with those three.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 04-20-11, 12:32 AM
little_worlds little_worlds is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 60
Thanks: 9
Thanked 29 Times in 19 Posts
little_worlds is on a distinguished road
Re: Adderall Addiction

If you amphetamine addiction is something you struggle with, Vyvanse is actually a good solution IMO. Personally, I am a huge fan of Vyvanse, it doesn't have the peak and drop that adderall is sometimes associated with. It doesn't feel like a drug the way that adderall is. IME it did create a kind of happy feeling, but nothing like an "addy glow." And after consulting my pdoc, that is really only something reported by people with MDD taking it. It is however, IME as effective as adderall for treating ADD symptoms, and the people I know that have switched over from addy had no problems with it. It should also be noted that the two are in the same family, and are produced by the same company. Vyvanse came out around the same time the patent for adderall expired.

As far as addiction problems go, Vyv is good, but it's not that good. WD is a strong possibility, but addiction comes with the ADD meds territory. Abuse, on the other hand, is virtually impossibe(beyond taking it w/o a script) because it is XR and so by the time it wears off, taking another dose means another 8-12 hours. Dosing again will just keep you awake all night until you're at your regular morning dose. Essentially, abuse of Vyv will lead to nothing except sleep deprivation and body aches from being awake for days on end. It cannot be crushed like adderall xr to make it an IR, and it needs to be absorbed through the stomach lining, so it cannot be snorted. Basically, for better or worse, they've finally made an amphetamine that's effective and has very low abuse potential.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-20-11, 06:23 PM
ecu20's Avatar
ecu20 ecu20 is offline
Contributor
 

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 345
Thanks: 52
Thanked 169 Times in 105 Posts
ecu20 is just really niceecu20 is just really niceecu20 is just really niceecu20 is just really nice
Re: Adderall Addiction

double post, sorry. See post below (mods feel free to delete this post)

Last edited by ecu20; 04-20-11 at 06:31 PM.. Reason: double post, sorry
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-20-11, 06:29 PM
ecu20's Avatar
ecu20 ecu20 is offline
Contributor
 

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 345
Thanks: 52
Thanked 169 Times in 105 Posts
ecu20 is just really niceecu20 is just really niceecu20 is just really niceecu20 is just really nice
Re: Adderall Addiction

Sorry in advance folks, this is a LONGG post but hopefully my experiences will help at least someone out there

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
I was prescribed 60mg; 3 x 20mg a day. I started from 20mg daily, to 40mg a month later.. and then found myself asking for a higher dosage of 60mg. Well apparently, I have a problem with staying away from amphetamines because yesterday was the third month I ran out a week, maybe even earlier, of my prescription.
I started that same similar way. 10mg every 4 hours 2-3 times a day - and could increase each dose 5-10mg daily and to find/reach my optimal dosage without going over 40mg x 3 times a day (he said i would "feel" it when i got to the right dose - but also that if i went over that "optimal" dose that I would also "feel" that).

I quickly went from 10mg to 15 to 20 then 30 and within 2 weeks of starting - 40mg every 4 hours 3 times a day - A dosage i reached with permission from my psychiatrist (aka quack and my now EX-psychiatrist).

Looking back, I knew i had ADD and i KNEW that this medication would help me focus and concentrate and be productive. I liked the focus and the "brain fog" it lifted that first time i used it. My mind was clear, sharp, and happy. Almost to the point of euphoria, a brain-gasm of clarity and focused thoughts that I still find difficult to explain to others who haven't experienced it themselves.

I was headed for disaster, but my mind wouldn't let me see it that way and manipulated and distorted my view on my situation to make me believe nothing was wrong. But there was something wrong. I was quickly ramped up on a high dose of a medication with a high abuse/ADDiction risk. Surprise, it is the 2nd strongest stimulant pharmacologically speaking. (1=methamphetamine, 2=amphetamine, 3=cocaine/methylphenidate)

Thinking I was immune to the risks of dependence and addiction and tolerance was stupid, but to me I was the exception. It might not wreck you at first, but if you stay on that train long enough you won't be able to get off it and the last and only stop for you is the train wreck at the end of the ride.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
It got to where the 'euphoric' feeling of Adderall that I so loved would end sooner and sooner. At first it lasted about two hours on a normal day after taking each 20mg tablet, to only 10 minutes. Sometimes, I took anywhere from my prescribed dosage of 60mg -to 140mg a day; with an average of FIVE tablets a day... making it 100mg.
Almost same experience. It's called drug tolerance and drug dependence. Outside the medical setting, they call that - drug ADDICTION. You were chasing that dragon so to speak, the original feeling you first felt, increasing your dose/taking it too frequently.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
Yes, my heart rate increased dramatically after about the fourth pill each time, but I could care less as long as I felt happy.
Stimulant side effects can include BP and heartrate increases, but in high doses it can skyrocket to a dangerous level.
Your explaination of caring less as long as you felt happy is the addiction definition word for word.

(AMA definition of Addiction)
Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in the individual pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviors. The addiction is characterized by impairment in behavioral control, craving, inability to consistently abstain, and diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships. Like other chronic diseases, addiction can involve cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
It got to where I would only get 4-6 hours of sleep daily (not even at night) with frequent all nighters. I would stay up over 24 hours, sometimes even 48. That's where I would feel like.. ****. I'm pretty sure I've experienced psychosis more than twenty times within the past two months. Sleep deprivation is NOT a good feeling at all. I started getting weird body sensations, like there are little fuzzy hairs sitting on my skin, annoying the hell out of me. My stomach would feel as if there was a 20 pound weight sitting on it. My eyes felt as if they were going to fall out any second. My throat and mouth felt dry, like I had been eating chalk all day.
I agree with what i bolded above, and experienced exactly what i underlined above.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
Around 5 AM I would get wired feeling and start picking at my skin, causing red marks EVERYWHERE I could get at, especially my chest. I'd get so distracted sitting at my computer over endless hours.. and hours, looking at NOTHING important. Just reading bull****, useless bull**** when I should have been working on my commissions (I draw for people online).
Described me and my experience with it word for word. I took it to get stuff done and to avoid distraction. I then HAD to take it to get stuff done. And then came I had to take it and i got nothing done. Punding took over completing work/tasks.

(From wiki) Punding is a term that was coined originally to describe complex prolonged, purposeless, and stereotyped behavior in chronic amphetamine users.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
I never exercised or ate healthy. In fact, I barely ate at all. I look like a damn crack addict with my eyes sunken in and dark lids. I guess that's what Speed addicts look like, which was basically me..
Food tasted like chewing on a chalk flavored sponge. You weren't basically a speed addict, you were a speed addict - plain and simple, it's hard to admit for most if not all addicts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
At first I thought I was fine, and I was for the first 3 months of taking Adderall. I could control myself. But then I couldn't and kept telling myself, "One more pill can't hurt... I'll just take less towards the end of my prescription." That one more pill each day turned into TWO more pills each day.. then THREE more pills each day.. to, "****.. I ran out." and a horrid next several days of no amphetamines to live on. Withdrawal symptoms SUCK ***. I never knew my body could feel so horrible, ever!
That was my experience again word for word. I always had a "plan", i could "control" it, i just would take less. This lasted about... until I reached my next dose and all plans were "readjusted" and "replanned" because i was going to stop and take less... AFTER this next dose.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
I finally admitted to myself after abusing this drug; that it was no longer working and it was making me feel miserable instead of 'good' like it used to. I told my psychiatrist..
That's amazing, it takes a lot to finally realize and admit this. It took me longer than you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
who then immediately wanted to take me off all stimulants. That would have been hell for the next month or two.
That would be harsh, but the protocol for that would be dose decrease-deescalation until off it, or cold turkey off it. The withdrawal effects wont kill you, they are primarily psychological but physically you'll just feel exhausted and tired and drained of energy, and you will sleep more. It slowly comes back to normal after anywhere from a week to 3 months to get back to a semi-normal feeling.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
I told her my mom would distribute my meds to me everyday, making sure I didn't take more than was prescribed.
Just make sure you stick to that. Make sure your mom knows to hide your meds, don't give you more no matter what, and to watch you take & swallow the meds.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
I told her about Vyvanse; that people said it didn't give them the initial 'rush' Adderall did.. thus more-so preventing the addiction effect. She agreed and quickly put me on Vyvanse.. 40mg daily. So basically I'm going from taking around 100mg of Adderall a day, to 40mg of another stimulant. That's losing 60mg a day.
vyvanse sounds like a good transition for you IN MY OPINION. It is slowly absorbed in your body through the GI tract, the onset is slower and more mild than adderall but that is a good thing. vyvanse also prevents abuse in that it has no "rush" when taken via other routes of absorption - (ie snorting or injecting or even crushing up).

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
I'm REALLY hoping it won't give me horrid withdrawal symptoms.
40mg Vyvanse = about 11-12mg of dextroamphetamine. That dose is better than nothing when attempting to minimize withdrawal side effects.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
And I'm also hoping it will still make me motivated like Adderall did for me the first couple months.
I wouldn't count 100% on that, but sometimes we have to do things we don't like or find it hard to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Adderall. I just can't handle it, my personality won't let me.. and I analyze everything to death; my mood, my boyfriend, my friends, my actions. EVERYTHING.
like i said before: That's amazing, it takes a lot to finally realize and admit this. It took me longer than you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
So far I feel weird.
[...]
I feel kinda sick to my stomach and my body feels numb. I don't know if this is the withdrawal symptoms of not taking Adderall anymore, or what. I had plenty of sleep last night so I don't think it's sleep deprivation.
Side effects vary from person to person but sickness could be anything, including lack of food/nutrition, hypoglycemia, etc..

Numb? as in tingly pins and needles numb? or that you can't feel pressure when in contact with something? Numbness in that you have little feeling of pressure and of things that should hurt but dont - is DANGEROUS and can be a sign of nerve damage or something just as bad. Do elaborate about that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
Do any of you think I'll be fine taking Vyvanse? Not abusing it that is.. Just taking my regular prescribed dosage daily. I'm getting scared from reading peoples' reviews on it, they say they have bad side effects switching from Adderall to Vyvanse.
It's not as stimulating as adderall is, it's a softer-smoother stimulant feeling. "Mild" in other words.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
Why couldn't I have just obeyed my prescribed amount? Why am I like that? I hate it.
Many feel worthless or self-depreciated feelings of worth when they think of this.

In layman terms, don't beat yourself up over it - the disease of addiction is just this powerful, it has little to do with your own "lack of control" - you are not a lesser person for having a problem with controlling a DISEASE.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
And I'm going to hate myself even more if this drug turns to crap..
Think optimistically.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
I won't be able to go back on my normal dose of Adderall without my psychiatrist thinking I'm just going to turn into an addict again.
Probably true, because if you do go back to your normal dose, then you WILL go back into active addiction.

You also won't turn back into an addict. An addict will always have the disease of addiction, but you can abstain from returning to ACTIVE addiction.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
What are your opinions? By the way, I've NEVER been addicted to a drug before. I've ALWAYS taken my prescribed dosage as given. I've never done hardcore drugs either. And I've never smoked cigarettes, gotten drunk nor smoked weed. Amphetamines are apparently an exception.
Amphetamines are a drug, period. They don't discriminate, and don't care what you've "not" done before.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
EDIT: I just found out that 40mg of Vyvanse is only 20mg of Adderall. My psychiatrist didn't even ask to ween me off of Adderall first.. then go on Vyvanse.
because she probably doesn't want to risk giving more of a substance to someone that self-disclosed having an addiction to it. It could open her up to criminal and civil law violations. Maintaining an addict is illegal for doctors to do (except methadone/suboxone therapy)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
In fact she was impatient when I came in two days ago to talk to her, she was quick to get me in and out. I've decided to switch my psychiatrists.. and I'm going to ask for Adderall again.
I see that behavior and justification and rationalization all over that message. You are somewhat blaming her for a subpar experience in your opinion and because of that you are going to switch doctors to a new one who has no knowledge and information about your previous problems and history. You are then going to try and obtain the original drug that caused your problem from the new doctor so you can again obtain the drug you want.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
And this time, give it to my mother to manage it for me until I feel I can handle NOT abusing it anymore.
Then after a week or a month or so you will "feel" you can manage handing your meds and ask for them.

All you are doing is leaving space for yourself to relapse to the same ways and actions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
Hopefully I can get back on my old dosage and feel normal again.
All your "initial thoughts" of hope and change are wiped out by you as you now attempt to go right back to the same thing you admitted was a problem for you.


I hope this is NOT the case here, but I am only calling it as I see it based on my life and my experience in myself and with other addicts behavior.

Feel free to PM or message me back if you have any other questions or to further talk about it, good luck regardless though .

*PHEW* alright, i'm done
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ecu20 For This Useful Post:
grandma lise (04-20-11), ToastedBunny (04-22-11)
  #14  
Old 04-22-11, 01:27 AM
PickMeUpRoadie's Avatar
PickMeUpRoadie PickMeUpRoadie is offline
Contributor
 

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 280
Thanks: 27
Thanked 177 Times in 109 Posts
PickMeUpRoadie is a name known to allPickMeUpRoadie is a name known to allPickMeUpRoadie is a name known to allPickMeUpRoadie is a name known to allPickMeUpRoadie is a name known to allPickMeUpRoadie is a name known to allPickMeUpRoadie is a name known to all
Re: Adderall Addiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToastedBunny View Post
EDIT: I just found out that 40mg of Vyvanse is only 20mg of Adderall.
Technically, you can't make that comparison at all. Adderall is a combination of Levoamphetamine (25%) and Dextroamphetamine (75%). Lysine-dextroamphetamine (Vyvanse) only yields dextroamphetamine. The effects cannot be compared apples to apples.

And actually, the ratio between lisdexamfetamine and dextroamphetamine yields is 2.5:1, meaning 25mg of vyvanse = 10mg of dextroamphetamine.
__________________
“When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

“It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data.”

“I never remember feeling tired by work, though idleness exhausts me completely”

"If we are going to be damned, let us be damned for what we really are." - Captain Jean-Luc Picard

"The saxophones...are not expected...to behave like demented cats... "
Ralph Vaughan Williams, notes to his Symphony No.9 in E minor

Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 04-22-11, 02:22 AM
ToastedBunny ToastedBunny is offline
Jr Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 10
Thanks: 1
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
ToastedBunny is on a distinguished road
Re: Adderall Addiction

Okay, I've decided to update on my situation. Well, you know how I said I would haerve my mom administer my prescription of adderall to me? I didn't end up switching psychiatrists, And I got put back on adderall. She started me out on IR again, the tablets of 20mg each.. twice a day. So 40mg daily. The reason why she put me back on adderall was because I was complaining about side effects on Vyvanse.. and my mom would also continue administering my meds.

Well.. the second day after filling it.. my parents leave the house for a couple hours. I immediately start pathetically searching for the bottle. A half hour later, I found it! I smile to myself. Mmm, I found the stash. Go me! Okay, I take an extra two. "I'll save one for tomorrow." Nope, I ended up taking the two that very night. Okay.. so this goes on for a good while, going in my parent's room when they're not home. It didn't get too bad, I just only started taking three pills a day, instead of my prescribed dosage of two. So I basically went back on my regular prescribed amount before I started abusing.

14 days before my next refill, my parents find out. They get furious with me.. and now I'm stuck taking one tablet a day for the next 2 weeks. In that time, my mom gives me the cold shoulder, my bestfriend moves to Buffalo, NY (I'm in FL).. and my boyfriend of four years, finds out I lied to him again. Instead of helping me, he breaks up with me. Calls me a 'dumb ****ing *****' 'drug addict' and a 'pill popper'. Okay. So my life is basically a living hell. I end up becoming severly depressed, sleep all day.. and night. Only up for like 3 hours a day. It got to the point where after I took the adderall, I became tired as hell.

So.. when it was time to refill my prescription, I was weened down to 20mg of adderall a day. I just asked if I could try Adderall XR. I mean.. what the heck. I now take 30mg of XR daily. Haven't been abusing it whatsoever. It seemed to be working the first few days.. but now after I take it, I get extremely tired. I've been sleeping waaaaaay too much and I have some constipation issues as well. My psychiatrist also put me back on 20mg of Prozac daily. For anxiety and depression issues. Well, my boyfriend and I just got back together, and everything seems emotionally stable. But all I want to do is sleep, my motivation problems are back.. just like I felt before I even started adderall altogether. I'm feeling depressed too. :/ what is wrong with me? I've been on this dose for about 2 weeks so far I think.. and I barely feel like doing anything.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Adderall side effect question sywi Adderall 104 11-19-13 12:38 PM
Strattera give same results as Adderall? Onwari Strattera 27 08-14-13 09:47 AM
From Adderall to Vyvanse; experiences ToastedBunny Vyvanse 3 03-17-11 02:10 AM
Adderall to Dexadrine Spanuals MindResearcher Adderall 7 05-29-10 07:18 PM
Adderall and Tolerance MindResearcher Adderall 9 08-17-05 12:23 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:53 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2014 ADD Forums